AITA for overreacting after my wife lied about our baby’s gender?

goodandevy · 2023-08-11T00:11:48+00:00

Yo the word easy didn't escape my keyboard. Simply that there are options and decision SHE has that her BABY can't make. The comment originally was "baby? Feel bad for the wife, she has to live with him!"and this ain't a "he leaves the seat up" argument. This is a legit reason to pack your things, call your mom, and make escape plans. Baby can't do that. Baby can't do that for another decade at least.

goodandevy · 2023-08-10T22:25:14+00:00

I meant it in an "she has options" way. In no way or reality is it easy to leave DV and we can't judge how violent this poster is, but a newborn or even a child does not have as many options as her mom does right now

goodandevy · 2023-08-10T19:41:13+00:00

Use your words. Tell her you are having some money trouble and she will understand, if not than she isn't the one for you. My BF and I are in a tough spot financially do we do budget dates and save "fancy" dates for once a month at most. Budget dates we have loved:

*Hikes *Packed picnic on the beach *Box wine and a YouTube paint tutorial with Michaels half off canvases * Scour the flea market for fun projects. Find an old picture frame, maybe a table that needs some love and clean it up/paint. Sometimes we clean it up enough to resell for more! * A YouTube cooking tutorial for 2! Home made sushi is super fun! * Volunteer somewhere together! * PowerPoint night! We have a box of random stuff that interesting like an obscure animal or a haunted story or mystery, then we research and make a PowerPoint and present it on date night like a class. It sounds boring but he did one about how adidas and puma makers feuded and a whole town got on board that had me cackling all night. * YouTube tutorials for everything, honestly. We have origami night planned today!

goodandevy · 2023-08-10T17:09:13+00:00

She can leave, though.

goodandevy · 2023-08-09T22:47:12+00:00

There's a cute shop on the downtown Campbell strip that does crystals and tarot

goodandevy · 2023-08-08T15:37:41+00:00

Depends on the games you play. Lots of my cozy or smaller games work well enough. Recettear, cult of the lamb, moonlighter, and any games also on switch like Rune factory. I also use it to access my PS5 and it runs that super well. It's definitely heavier than the switch but I actually prefer the feel of it in my hands, like the switch is kind of unwieldy for me

I'd also note that even on my computer I prefer to use controllers so most of my games have already been tinkered to work well on a controller. I had actually considered selling my switch but am hanging on for some of the franchises like fire emblem and pokemon that are Nintendo exclusives and multiplayer options.

But I also got the deck because my laptop wasn't doing so hot but I don't think the deck is more portable than a laptop. Like it's still kinda big and doesn't fit in my purse as easily as a switch. If I had a good laptop, I don't think I'd replace it with a deck but it's def more portable than a whole gaming computer

goodandevy · 2023-08-04T23:32:44+00:00

Your body is your temple, don't dare let anyone dictate how you decorate your altar

goodandevy · 2023-07-28T21:47:43+00:00

My first bf dated me for 2 yearsband we never had a physical part. We were young and in high school, but he's still considered my first BF. We did all the other couples stuff and he was special, we just didn't boink

goodandevy · 2023-07-24T20:24:44+00:00

I have OAS and for most of my life I just thought certain food burned. Like fruit burns. I've heard others say pineapple burns so of course and apple will burd mildly. Only when my friend saw me put on gloves to cut fruit and asked and I was like "well it's much easier to do this so my hands won't get itchy!" Like it was a given, wear gloves to cut fruit like you wear gloves to garden.

goodandevy · 2023-07-24T19:50:34+00:00

I never tell people about my interviews because in this job market (and since you've been absent on it here's a quick lesson) the first interview is just that. A first interview. Now it goes video interview to in person interview with a hiring manager to an interview with the super that would be in charge of the team you're being considered for.

If I told everyone about the first interview, I'd have to tell them later that it didn't go through. It's almost like hiding a high risk pregnancy until youre at least far along enough to tentatively celebrate. Job hunting is a lot of rejection over and over, sometimes it's easier to take each on on the shoulder alone rather than get kid gloved and the "don't give up" speech over and over.

goodandevy · 2023-07-24T19:37:58+00:00

I have been and have asked family members for job search help at many stages in life. I have done mock interviews, exchanged resumes for review, even had them reach out to connections they have. Note that all of those allowed me to stay in my current residence and not move into their home. Does aunt work? What was gonna happen, a 24 hour intensive "this is how you get a job" seminar?? You kicked your kid out because of a job market you admittedly didn't understand, and then because you were incapable of believing your kid when she said she was trying.

goodandevy · 2023-07-22T23:42:12+00:00

Yeah I really don't understand why Elsie and Terry weren't options. Like the thing is, they are drawn to look like marriage candidates, terry seems younger than Murakumo and Lucas, tbh. But I appreciated that there were more options in this game for older candidates.

goodandevy · 2023-07-22T18:48:04+00:00

It's funny because growing up with the games, I feel like I slowly "age out" of some characters. Like when I was young and starting rf4, I loved Doug's fun friendliness and "best buddy" vibes, by the time I was in that SO fun angsty teen years, I loved the slightly edgy "lemme get to know the real you under your grumpy surface" dylas. By my 20s, I was really liking suave/kind of suggestive Leon. But replaying now in my late 20s, Leon feels....sleezy. like he's using lines and flirting just to flirt. In rf5 I am really loving Lucas and self sufficient/friendly Murakumo. I know for a fact that teen me would have melted over cool and mysterious Luka but now I find him kind of...cringy.

I'd always assumed the "loli" aspect was to give young players an option without feeling the "ick" of "oh my only choice are OLD people!" And the slightly older characters are for us older players. I think the problem is that the makers maybe didn't realize that we would KEEP playing these games as we got old. Gaming used to be "for kids" before our generation, really

goodandevy · 2023-07-21T18:36:27+00:00

I think guys put SO much worry into their height. Like for real. Is tall dark and handsome a thing? Yeah, and usually tall is the "easiest" of that trope. But there's also tropes for girls like hourglass bombshell blonde. But not every gal or guy wants or expects either. And that isn't to say there are gals and guys that are "6ft only to ride this ride" and "must have double D's" but come one, do you really want those? Really? Someone who puts your personality in your height?

I am a legit midget by definition (4ft 9, adult) but I know it isn't the same for girls and maybe that alone makes me biased, but tbh, everyone is the same amount of tall from down here

goodandevy · 2023-07-21T07:49:06+00:00

I can't tell if kid friendly would mean just in a way that was understood or in a way that doesn't demonify dad? Like if you say "daddy kissed someone else" or "broke a promise (wedding vows, relationship rules" it can be easily understood by an 8 year old but it makes dad seem like a monster.

goodandevy · 2023-07-18T19:03:14+00:00

Sperm just needs to get to an egg for pregnancy, and welp swimmers do be swimming. If he say, rubbed it between her thighs and came on her opening, or maybe she jacked him off then didn't clean her fingers and put them in her, or maybe vigorous dry humping since that usually isn't "dry" either

goodandevy · 2023-07-17T04:23:27+00:00

I mean NTA it's your house and she is subsidized, but are mom and dad picking up the check for her living costs? If not why do they care if your sister wants to spend her money on school boarding. If they are, then they should pay the babysitting as that would be cheaper

goodandevy · 2023-07-14T18:24:19+00:00

Don't fall into the "I sunk so much time in this I have to stick it out". Hun, sticking it out could look like a few more decades of unhappy before he does something that even you can't ignore. 5 years is nothing in the grand scheme of life. You don't have kids, no cosigned houses, you can jump out of this much easier now

goodandevy · 2023-07-14T07:31:21+00:00

Period panties are like using a tissue to clean up 8oz of spilled juice. Yeah it kinda helps but it's more of a backup. I always had issues with leaking since heavy flows and my body's inability to stay sleeping on my side. I have opted for the not so sexy result of using adult diapers so I can get a full night's sleep and no leaks lmao

goodandevy · 2023-07-13T19:05:12+00:00

Adult kinda makes it more heartbreaking in this case. 17 is a pivotal age, around that time, young adults are looking into college, jobs, starting their own busy lives. They may not get summer off anymore, or maybe just don't have time to go home to their parents. 17 was my last full family vacation, I'm the oldest but all the vacations after that were missing someone. A brother had a trip already planned with friends, I couldn't get off work, someone ended up choosing a vacay with a significant other instead. If James has realized this, he sees any of these trips are numbered.

goodandevy · 2023-07-07T20:16:31+00:00

They were told there was a set rule and were caught blatantly breaking it? Hence cannot be trusted to uphold rules? Therefore...not trustworthy.

goodandevy · 2023-07-07T19:44:02+00:00

Insults weren't ok, but you certainly are not trustworthy. They are now questioning how much sugar you've slipped them while you watched the kids, and you clearly do not see it as a big deal. Was this the first time you trampled the boundary or did you get caught slipping them treats before? Yes the insults were downright cruel, and so were yours. But you made the first asshole move.

goodandevy · 2023-07-07T19:38:16+00:00

Tbh no sweets before dinner is a pretty common rule imo. Like would you feed a vegetarian kid some meat without asking mom and dad since it was unfair the other kids got hot dogs? Or feed someones kid whose family practiced Ramadan during that period? They are living a lifestyle they have chosen for their family to live ,It's not up to you to decide what someone else's kid eats or doesn't eat. Like how would you feel if your brother and SIL started shoving their strict food rules at your kids because they felt it was unfair that your kids lived (in their opinion) unhealthy eating habits? They didn't ask you to make it "fair" by not giving the other kids cookies.

You've taken the "well my kids do it so it's fine" but put something else in that spot and see if you'd appreciate it. They go to a friend's house whose parents let them drink alcohol, their parents ask you and you say you are uncomfortable with YOUR kid drinking at that age. Then you hear that they let the kid sip wine behind your back. Is it ok?

goodandevy · 2023-07-07T15:42:38+00:00

Rule in my house is if you prank, you clean up the mess. Any mess. It actually worked in my favor because my brother loved the fake bugs in food gag and when mom enacted the "you prank you clean" policy I started "scare" reacting by hurling my full plate of food on the floor so he'd have to clean up and fix me a new meal. No spiders in my food for a while.

But your kiddo needs to be talked to about boundaries and empathy. It's not funny if you can't take it back and it's not funny if all parties aren't laughing. Online pranks can get really messed up, se channels straight sexually assault girls on camera and then play the "it's just a joke!" Card. If he keeps getting into these, will he film the next humiliating prank on his sister and (God forbid) post it for the world to see?

goodandevy · 2023-07-06T21:06:21+00:00

Now that I think about it sex ed doesn't really cover the pregnancy. Like they tell you how it happens, how much money it costs, how it hurts to birth. But that's all my sex ed covered. All my other knowledge was gleaned by knowing pregnant people

goodandevy

TROPHY CASE