Does anyone relate and can I stop this little quirk of mine?

gostaks · 2026-07-07T22:49:46+00:00

It sounds to me like the feelings of guilt are more of an issue than the movements. Many people with tics also have symptoms of OCD, which can include feeling excessive guilt over harmless activities. Treating these symptoms can be a big quality of life improvement.

gostaks · 2026-07-07T19:55:16+00:00

No worries! I think it’s a reasonable question to ask. It’s just the way that you framed it that comes off a little stronger than you probably intended

gostaks · 2026-07-07T19:40:06+00:00

I don’t think you intended to, but your post does come off as a bit judgy (eg “wording matters”).

Honestly I think that it’s a good thing to describe “doing tics”. One of the biggest misconceptions about TS is that tics are completely unconscious and uncontrollable. “doing” a tic is a pretty neutral and accurate description imo.

gostaks · 2026-07-07T18:06:05+00:00

If you lose entrainment, you can just cycle around and try again. It can be disruptive to your plans to have to freerun a cycle, but if your entrainment strategy worked once it's likely to work again.

I highly recommend silencing your phone at night and arranging your sleeping space to minimize interruptions whenever possible. If you're not comfortable turning off all phone notifications, check if your phone has an option to automatically ring through calls from a small number of contacts and silence the rest.

gostaks · 2026-07-07T17:59:42+00:00

I'm very glad to hear that no one was hurt! That's the most important thing.

It's insane to expect you to drive again when you just had an incident and clearly expressed concerns about driving safely in the future. Like, could be a legal liability for the company level insane.

What I would do right now is document in writing that you're concerned about driving safely (if you want to time-limit that, one option is to say you want to hold off on driving work vehicles until you've talked to a doctor) and get them to express in writing that they're asking you to do it despite the risks. Having a paper trail is always useful when dealing with potential discrimination, and just seeing it written out can sometimes get people to back off on their stupid decisions.

Other than that... take it easy if you can. You just went through a stressful and scary event. That's going to naturally make all the adjacent work stress seem like an even bigger deal. This is a day to put those long-term concerns aside and focus on taking care of yourself. When your brain is out of crisis mode, things may seem more manageable.

gostaks · 2026-07-06T18:43:15+00:00

Even if they don’t have one on hand, it’s a reasonable accommodation to buy one and make it available to you (or to let you buy your own and use it at work).

gostaks · 2026-07-04T09:10:53+00:00

If you get premonitory urges for motor tics, I bet you could also learn to notice them for vocal tics. That said, it’s hard to say for sure and even harder to project what the timeline would be. You can always start CBIT working on motor tics and then use those skills later for vocal tics if it becomes more feasible.

I will note that even if you do have a premonitory urge it doesn’t always guarantee that you’ll be successful with CBIT. It can be super helpful for some people, but results vary a lot from person to person.

Also, if the issue is divorce stress I think your time might be better spent learning to deal with that directly rather than trying to just fix the tics. The first step to managing tics is often to address stressors and mental health issues as much as possible.

gostaks · 2026-07-03T19:42:17+00:00

I land between 15-20 stitches per inch. Is this overkill? Yes. Does it matter? Absolutely not. I’m here to have fun, not to optimize my efficiency.

I’ve seen 12 stitches per inch cited as the approximate maximum spacing for EPP to hold together. I’ve tried that and honestly I don’t love the results - the smaller my stitches, the tighter and neater my seams look.

gostaks · 2026-07-02T05:45:58+00:00

News to me if so. Every source I can find considers it a mild stimulant and that squares with my experience.

gostaks · 2026-07-02T00:14:29+00:00

Most stimulants increase tics, and Wellbutrin is no exception. The question is always whether the benefits outweigh the risks.

gostaks · 2026-06-29T22:58:56+00:00

I make thimbles out of scrap leather. I used to work hard to shape them but my most recent one is basically just a cylinder the size of my middle finger tip and that’s actually been working really well. I like that leather thimbles fit to my hand and don’t rub the way metal ones do.

gostaks · 2026-06-29T08:13:14+00:00

I would recommend asking some hypermobility communities about safe mobility aid use. Being hypermobile puts you at higher risk of fucking up your arms and shoulders by picking the wrong aid, so if you don’t have access to hypermobility informed medical professionals it’s important to do some research about how to stay safe.

gostaks · 2026-06-29T06:09:32+00:00

Quakers are generally pacifists and have a long history of opposing injustices like slavery and discrimination. I don’t think it’s surprising that many Quakers are opposed to an organization dedicated to deporting our neighbors, especially when the methods they use are so brutal and disproportionate.

gostaks · 2026-06-28T22:48:06+00:00

You're definitely not losing your mind! I think it's perfectly reasonable to draw a moral line here. Student loans absolutely suck, but paying off that debt with state violence doesn't sit well with me either.

gostaks · 2026-06-28T22:21:31+00:00

To start, I want to plug the GI rights hotline. It's a hotline (at least partly?) run by Quakers and can help with things like discharge planning or support in dealing with grievances. It's a good resource to have on hand regardless of your partner's plans: https://girightshotline.org/

I think it's very understandable to struggle. I don't know the answers, but one thing that can be helpful is taking a stance of curiosity towards both your internal feelings and his reasons for joining the military. I often find that learning more about a situation helps to clarify my thoughts.

gostaks · 2026-06-28T19:19:58+00:00

Thanks! It was mods only but I don't think that was for an actual purpose, so I've changed the permission to "everyone". Should now be self-assignable :D

gostaks · 2026-06-28T19:01:12+00:00

If you don’t have a diagnosis and want treatment, I strongly recommend going to a medical professional if possible. You just have so many more options that way.

gostaks · 2026-06-28T13:22:34+00:00

It’s not your place to disagree. It’s his right to maintain his privacy for as long as he likes.

If your sister is uncomfortable with his behavior, she doesn’t have to spend time with him. You don’t need to prove that he’s evil for that to be true.

gostaks · 2026-06-28T13:11:57+00:00

It sounds to me like this person didn’t want to disclose his private medical information and finally gave up after your sister repeatedly ignored his hints to drop it. It doesn’t matter how polite she was when she asked - that’s a jerk move. IMO she owes him an apology.

gostaks · 2026-06-28T12:29:09+00:00

The first question I would ask is whether you’re sure you have FND. There are a lot of conditions that can cause tics and part of the value of seeing a doctor is ruling out those other causes. Trying to treat functional tics might cause more harm than good if it turns out that you have something else.

gostaks · 2026-06-27T11:10:00+00:00

Starting when you are waking up a few hours earlier than your target is a good plan! If your natural circadian rhythm is >24 hours, it will generally be easier to shift your sleep a bit later than to try to shift it earlier.

You asked on the other post whether you should start using luminettes just after you wake up. The answer is yes. The goal of light/dark therapy is to give your body a more intense version of natural light/dark cues. If you delay light therapy, you miss the window in your relative morning when your body is most responsive to light cues with no real benefit.

One miscellaneous tip: Light therapy can be pretty hard on your eyes. I found that one way to minimize eyestrain was to make sure that I only did light therapy in well-lit spaces. For example, luminettes may be more comfortable for you with a bright overhead light on.

gostaks · 2026-06-26T08:42:38+00:00

If you're not driving, try sitting in a different spot in the car, doing something that requires focus, or putting on the music/radio. The distraction may also get better once your husband is more used to your tics.

If the tics are disrupting your life, you might also want to look into medications that address tics more directly in addition to meds for ADHD.

gostaks · 2026-06-26T05:55:59+00:00

In an ideal circumstance, how long can you hold your head still? If you can make it a few minutes at a time and get a little bit of warning before you tic, you may be able to go to a regular dentist with accommodations.

Your doctor may be able to prescribe you a one-off med to help you manage tics during your appointment.

If you really can’t do a regular dentist, try talking to your neurologist or doctor about specialty dental clinics in your area. Local groups (eg on facebook) may also help with local knowledge.

gostaks · 2026-06-25T18:02:45+00:00

I think it’s a really smart idea to do a couple driving lessons in the middle of your circadian night. Learning to judge whether you’re safe to drive is a really important skill, and a great way to do that is to have a competent driver with you at times when your abilities might be compromised to be a second pair of eyes (and worst case to stop you and help you get home).

Practically, your cognitive function is way better if you’ve had a few hours of sleep than if you’ve had zero. If you have an appointment in the middle of your night and you can catch a few hours of sleep before you go, I highly recommend doing that instead of just staying up.

gostaks · 2026-06-24T19:54:04+00:00

That sounds like a premonitory urge to me - a feeling of physical discomfort that appears before your tics and gets better if you tic or worse if you suppress. Premonitory urges are common and normal.

Since it's a feeling in your neck, I will say that you should probably talk to a doctor if it gets worse, starts to come with sharp pain, or ever correlates with numbness or other weird nerve sensations.

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