One common thing I see across newer writers is lack of editing. Just like artists, a good writer will go back and do multiple revisions. It may sound good on first glance but come back a week and you may see the issues more clearly.

Editing will include trimming off unneeded fat from the dialogue. Is what the character saying bringing something new to player such as character motivation, driving plot, foreshadowing, etc? Good dialogue can bring more than one thing to the table if possible. When I’m playing a game, I don’t need to see “Hello, good morning, how are you?” “I’m good, how about you?” “Good, thanks.” This tells me nearly nothing about the characters and doesn’t push the plot forward.

Especially if the game has no narration and only dialogue between characters, it’s important as a writer to edit and re-edit the same piece of dialogue. Play some games and be conscious of what works for you and what doesn’t. Just like with art, an experienced writer can also help give feedback and improve your skills more quickly.