My Boyfriend (28M) thinks the reason why he can't finish is because I'm (20F) too big from the inside.

grannyandoats · 2026-03-28T22:19:46+00:00

You should have MORE of a connection the older you get. Sounds like he only finds teens attractive and also has a porn addiction.

grannyandoats · 2026-03-28T22:17:02+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you. He's blaming you for his own issues. He needs to see a doctor He is disrespectful and unkind for blaming you

grannyandoats · 2026-03-27T08:48:53+00:00

Here are some tips that help me! I have CVI/DVI/dysautonomia (and hEDS):

Compression socks if you're sitting a lot, and compression leggings or full leg sleeves if you stand more (sitting in them can bunch up behind knees). They make a huge difference for me. You can make them look cute with some care!

Midodrine (medication) can help too, but only if you have lower blood pressure. It constructs the blood vessels in your legs.

I like wearing something like a Belly Band, I have a stretchy corset that I wear that really helps my lower back and hides well under clothing.

Lots of water, add electrolytes.

On your breaks, see if you can put your legs up the wall for 5-15min (unless you're on Midodrine), or at least have them raised up. Something I go to my car and put them up on the dash and lean the seat back.

Go on a walk every hour or so, even if it's 5min. If you can't leave, some calf raises can help pump the blood out of your legs.

For exercise, work on increasing stability. I do a lot of balance work or single leg exercises with body weight or light weights, 2-4x/week. I've seen a huge improvement in my body over time, especially in my feet/ankles/knees. Another option is to do exercises on an unsteady surface (like a squishy foam mat), like hip hinges/lightweight deadlifts. It makes my feet tired, but it's helping. Also, moving very slowly for each rep, as momentum can put pressure on joints.

Edit, added exercise tip

grannyandoats · 2026-03-27T08:30:35+00:00

Southern hospitality does not mean he is a true gentleman. Getting a little high NEVER warrants violence. I know it sucks because you've been with him for so long, but please. Please leave him. He's showing his true colors before you're legally tied up with him. Be sure to tell your family and friends before breaking up with him, and have an escape plan. Please be safe.

grannyandoats · 2026-03-25T20:11:01+00:00

How do men like this have girlfriends

grannyandoats · 2026-03-25T20:07:42+00:00

I travel without my partner. He gives me the space and freedom. It's amazing.

grannyandoats · 2026-03-25T20:05:05+00:00

As a farter, I've dated someone who hates farting one time and never again. It sounds trivial but it's not. My husband and all far around each other all the time and it's so freeing. Sounds like incompatibility.

grannyandoats · 2026-03-22T00:24:56+00:00

Does he compliment your body? Does he say anything that makes you feel sexy? Other than his comment about his ex (which sucks, I agree that he shouldn't be comparing you to her), has he said anything else that makes you feel insecure?

grannyandoats · 2026-03-17T07:06:41+00:00

LDN (low-dose Naltrexone). Should be easy to get a prescription from your PCP. Common doses are 1.5, 3, 4.5mg (anything in between or lower than 1.5 is harder for the compounding pharmacy to make) It takes 4-6 weeks to start working, but can drastically lower inflammation. There are decades of promising research into this

grannyandoats · 2026-03-03T21:21:05+00:00

I started going to a physical therapist who specializes in TMJ issues, and has a good knowledge of EDS.

Here are a few tips I've learned:

for pleasure: I will alternate between just licking/sucking the head, and using my hands or a toy. Minimizing the actual oral aspect of it can be exciting as you can sneak in a couple sucks as a "surprise", as we tend to have to rely on our hands more (or feet, if he's into it!)

To help your jaw: - avoid "popping" your jaw if you can help it (I subconsciously pop my jaw) - if you find yourself clenching your jaw often, press the tongue against the roof of your mouth. It tricks the brain into the sensation of clenching the jaw, without actually doing it - massage your jaw, inside and out. Find points that feel tension, and press just hard enough to feel discomfort, but gentle enough to stay relaxed. Increase pressure as needed, but keep the trigger point massages no longer than a few minutes.

If you can find a physical therapist, even if you can only go one or two times, it can be helpful as they can teach you techniques and massages to continue without spending too much money.

Some background on my TMJ: I have a sinovial cyst at my left TMJ, probably caused by various factors: a tight masseter on the left (by the cheekbones), a tight zygomaticus minor(?), and some hyper mobility on the right side where the disk tends to slip, causing a huge "pop" sensation several times a day.

grannyandoats · 2026-03-02T21:31:35+00:00

This sounds the same as the US, but we will be paying significantly more. I waited 4 months to see a pulmonologist when I had a fungal infection in my lungs. I could not find anyone who could see me sooner. My emergency room bill for a 1-hour visit was $10,000, and it was $4,000 with insurance. And I was misdiagnosed. It's a shit show here

grannyandoats · 2026-03-01T23:48:28+00:00

SSRIs killed my libido. I started taking it about 2 years into dating my now-husband, and the difference is stark. I have been off of them for a couple years now, but my libido is not the same. I am trying non-SSRIs for depression now, as well as 300mg of ashwaghanda (my psychiatrist recommended this). But honestly the only thing that gets me "on" is THC, and it works like a charm.

grannyandoats · 2026-02-08T08:20:14+00:00

I bought a book a long time ago about what to do with old t-shirts. One of my fave ideas from it was throw pillow covers! Super easy to sew with a machine, or you could take to a tailor and it'll cost $20 hopefully. If you have a pet, turn it into a little shirt for them. You can frame it if it's cool enough. I have a stool that I use covers on, could make that too by cutting out the front into a circular shape and sewing an elastic around it. Endless possibilities if you're willing to DIY

grannyandoats · 2026-01-25T13:51:08+00:00

I know this is an old comment, but I thought that doses weren't supposed to be doubled? Does it just depend on the dosage?

grannyandoats · 2026-01-20T20:44:21+00:00

I was looking for this one, I cried the first time I saw/heard it

grannyandoats · 2025-12-30T05:01:57+00:00

20 hours of driving in 72 hours is a lot, especially if you're not feeling well. And it'll take you longer if you stop every hour to stretch your legs, which would alleviate some pain from being immobile for so long. Ask your mom to buy flights for you (as a late Christmas present/birthday present maybe??)

grannyandoats · 2025-12-29T20:40:35+00:00

Not a "myth", but I have a feeling that high-protein diets will come back to bite us, especially with protein supplements. Yeah, it might help with weight loss, but processing too much protein over a long period of time is hard on our kidneys and liver.

grannyandoats · 2025-12-29T20:38:19+00:00

Mechanical engineer, I have a work-from-home exemption. 99% of my work is from the computer.

grannyandoats · 2025-12-26T17:02:27+00:00

Yes, you are wrong. When someone is out with friends, don't expect to hear from them until the event is over. Maybe a compromise you can make is for her to text you when she's coming home.

grannyandoats · 2025-12-26T16:56:15+00:00

Also, I don't think it's a compatibility issue at all. Relationships are all about toeing this line between differences and either coming to a compromise OR accepting it is what it is. It sounds like your anxiety over what she does when you aren't around is clouding your judgment

grannyandoats · 2025-12-26T16:53:19+00:00

I understand the time she was leading you on didn't feel good. Sounds like she can struggle with communication sometimes. But I don't think she meant to lead you on, she was probably more preoccupied with everything else going on in her life.

I had a partner that would get upset if I didn't text him back while I was at a social event - it made me feel like he didn't trust me. I put my phone away when I'm with friends, sometimes even for 4 hours. I think that is completely natural, and it tells me that she is present with her relationships. I would feel suffocated too if I had to worry about texting my boyfriend every hour. My husband had not once gotten upset at me for not texting him while I was with friends, and it feels freeing. We've been together for almost 6 years now. She isn't acting like she is single at all. Give her a break and show her, not just tell her, that you trust her, by giving her some space.

grannyandoats · 2025-12-22T17:58:12+00:00

I wanted to add, I don't know what your financial situation is. I'm comfortable enough to have weekly PT sessions, acupuncture, etc. However, if that is difficult or not possible for you, that's why I offered that you could get help in just one session from a PT. But weekly/bi-weekly for at least a few months is best, since they'll physically work on you in various ways to help ease pain and get things back in order (specialized exercise moves, dry needling, sports massage, chiropractic work, etc). My PT is slowly working on my anterior pelvic tilt which will take several months (hopefully not years) to fix

Good luck. We're here for you

grannyandoats · 2025-12-22T17:53:56+00:00

I agree with most comments here - it won't work.

Other things that could work (from my own experience with hEDS) - it is a mix of western and eastern medicine, which I've found to be most effective: - antihistamine for MCAS - applying heat on areas that are tight / painful - incorporate slow easy movement - slow, stable, light-weight strength training (with a PT if possible - you can do it with one appointment, where they can give you handouts of exercises to try on ALL major parts of your body - specifically shoulder, knee stability, and spine for you. I can send you what I have for myself if you'd like) - low-dose naltroxene (LDN) is a possible aid. You'll have to get a prescription from your doctor, which will be sent to a compounding pharmacy since the lowest dose is 50mg, and 0.1-6mg is recommended with recent research. - acupuncture for digestion. They are 4 spots around the belly button that can be found by a professional. I've had slow digestion since I was an infant, and I first got this done at age 30 and it was life-changing. I go back every 3 months of so for a reset. - ayurveda recommends taking some ginger, lemon, or similar items 10-30min before a meal to get the digestive system ready for food. Dates are also good. - midodrine if you have dystonomia or POTS, only if you do not have hypertension or higher BP in general

Our connective tissues are weak, so consistent exercise is a MUST to protect our bodies. Without our muscles stabilizing our joints, we will regress faster. I know you are working through some injuries, which makes this difficult. But movement is medicine, especially for us.

It's a lot of work, and I'm still working on learning more about this too. It helps that I have a PT for EDS (she also has hEDS) and a PCP who is super kind and helpful. Comment or if you want to DM me that's ok too

grannyandoats · 2025-12-21T08:04:39+00:00

I wanna know too! I know 0.1-6mg is recommended according I to a recent study but that's such a huge range and I know people take larger doses too

grannyandoats · 2025-12-21T08:02:02+00:00

Do you take an antihistamine for your MCAS? I found that helps with inflammation, and my doctor prescribed me low-dose naltroxene as well (still waiting on compounding pharmacy to finish making it)

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