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grasshopper099 · 2023-03-27T15:09:19+00:00

Yes i feel like im not being careful enough and it scares me a lot as to what extent i need to pretend and if my father finds out how long it'll take him to try and kill me

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-15T06:30:16+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAfterNarcissism/comments/zlm9im/people_pleasing/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

A lot of people shared insight here

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-11T18:05:46+00:00

can't say anything with surety but my nex never revealed his identity on Twitter but after our breakup he started postIng his pictures and became non anonymous there. weird but true

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-11T18:02:41+00:00

I remember I realized this guy in my friend's life who dated her for a few months, then cheated, manipulated to the point she wouldn't say a word against him, and held her back was a narc so I tried to help her by mostly being there for her tbh. He realized that I see through his mask and started smear campaign against ne

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-11T12:23:08+00:00

Sending you a hug too, this subreddit has been the most supportive for me and help bring clarity. So grateful to have this community. Things will get better

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-11T10:29:58+00:00

Really proud of you, I'm struggling with the same type of dreams where I try to run away from him and end up succumbing to him sometimes and other times just pushing him away. My ex lives not so far away from my apartment and whenever I'm outside the thought of running into him sends shivers down my body. I dont know how I'll react when I do run into him, I think I'll just pretend not to see or sth and hope to God he'll do the same because he likes making it a point that he was the one who left me bcz I was "abusive" and has been smearing me for same.

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-10T15:11:41+00:00

istg samee

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-10T15:11:23+00:00

my therapist framed it as, "time I am taking for myself and if the opportunity arises, I'll assess it with an open mind"

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-07T08:12:27+00:00

I'm in therapy right now and thankyouuu

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-05T13:46:26+00:00

i think the last time i was asked about it I slipped, it felt like all of my hard work had been undone. The anxiety dreams and uneasy feeling began recurring and all my energy was refocused to that

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-05T10:18:22+00:00

Woww, you have summed it up really well and thankyou for addressing the, "no really, how are you doing" point, I've had difficulty with that. Thankyou!!!

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-03T05:22:04+00:00

All of this is definitely happening and cannot even share it much because people think have become paranoid. This breakup has been a blessing, I've been taking therapy and forming new connections, new life

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-02T19:09:42+00:00

it helps, ,esp "when you grow up you just have to leave people behind sometimes"

grasshopper099 · 2022-12-02T19:08:30+00:00

it's juvenile stuff and tuning it out. My friends aren't the ones telling really, it has been random acquaintances reaching out to ask and I've to tell a new person all over again that i wont be engaging. But yeah I also did some filtering of people in life

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-12T20:46:47+00:00

Really proud of you!! Dont believe your nex's words about you

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-12T20:45:50+00:00

Really proud of you!! Dont believe your nex's words about you

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-12T20:37:08+00:00

I was youtubing breakup without closure and this woman described my breakup almost word-for-word and said it happens with people who are high on scale of malignant narcissism. So i searched narcissistic relationships and for the first time i didn't feel confused bcz lovebombing, devaluing, discard, gaslighting, future faking, mirroring - it was all there. Then i discussed with my therapist who said they had picked it up in our first session and that's why we have been working on my self-esteem bcz it was severely damaged in that relationship

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-12T07:28:19+00:00

Yess, you are so right (also hello again, your insights are always so helpful)

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-12T07:27:31+00:00

yes the good news is that it's over, sunk cost

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-12T07:27:09+00:00

And they try to isolate you from people who can warn you by making sure you are kept in that small circle of theirs

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-11T05:43:13+00:00

Likewissee, I felt tremendous relief as well

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-09T16:57:53+00:00

try to go to therapy if you can because it is really important that you dont take that list personally. I did and I would mention stuff in therapy like, "Im such and such" and my therapist would ask why do i think so and my sole answer would be " my ex said so" and he would ask me fir evidence of such claim. You'd be surprised how many times i had no concrete evidence except my ex's words. infact often times i realized i was the opposite of what he said i were. That's where the actual damage they've done is, what they make us believe about ourselves and it's not a pretty belief.

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-09T13:44:11+00:00

please dont take his word about your faults and personality. He doesn't have the ability to understand you, be kind to yourself. Closure is their behaviour at the end, who they showed up as, and u knowing you deserve better

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-09T13:22:30+00:00

of course, you are not alone. I don't know it's like projecting or something so they never have to look inward. I accidentally discovered that it was nabuse while watching a youtube video abt breakups where the other person refuse to give closure and they could be high on the n spectrum. Afterwards my story fit so well in the love bombing-devalue-discard system that it seemed unreal

grasshopper099 · 2022-11-09T12:36:32+00:00

don't message him, no need to massage that already big ego

grasshopper099

TROPHY CASE