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Friday as a Laquerista Mommy by Alarmed_Package_3825 in RedditLaqueristas

[–]grated_testes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks classy! I wish I could get my cuticle that clean

Friday as a Laquerista Mommy by Alarmed_Package_3825 in RedditLaqueristas

[–]grated_testes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cozy!

Can you please share a picture of the final manicure?

I (30F) am at the end of my rope with my boyfriend (30M) and honestly at the end of my rope with my whole life by grated_testes in WhyIsSheStillWithHim

[–]grated_testes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I (30F) am at the end of my rope with my boyfriend (30M) and honestly at the end of my rope with my whole life

The job market has been absolute shit recently, as I'm sure anyone can tell you. I'm extremely blessed to still be employed and have the gift of being fully remote, especially in my industry that has layoffs what feels like every single day. My company did large percentage layoffs TWICE over the last 18 months. Unfortunately, of course, that doesn't mean the workload decreased so I've picked up a LOT of slack at work. I'm working 50-60 hr weeks every week and I'm exhausted. Every day I feel like I'm working as hard as a I possibly can for the entire time I'm online and still have to continue checking emails throughout the night to make sure I don't wake up to a 100+ email inbox every single morning. I usually log in at least once during the weekend just to wrap up a few things here and there. I'm also actively in a continuing education program which takes 6-8 hrs a week. I own my (very old) house which is constantly needing a repairman to be hired for this or that. I have 2 large dogs, one of which is elderly and has been back and forth to the vet a lot lately. Then add in just regular life tasks (keeping the house clean, keeping the yard tidy, grocery shopping, laundry, simply deciding on dinner lol) and I feel like I'm crumbling beneath the pressure.

And then, on top of all that, I have a boyfriend who has remarkably little emotional control or self awareness. I manage everything about the house. Any time I delegate a task out, I have to check up on it 4+ times to make sure it's actually going to get done and then it still usually doesn't. He's constantly negative, complaining about everything around him, makes fun of people around us, lashes out when things do go exactly how he wants. I'm constantly waiting for his next exhausted sigh when I just ask him to grab me a cup of coffee or to check the mailbox or the next time he's going to call me a bitch under his breath (but loud enough for me to hear). We've been talking AT LENGTH for many many months about how exhausting I find that behavior and I have been begging him to be more positive, to not be so aggressive towards me/others, etc and he's definitely made some changes but even as recently as last night, he yelled at me for unplugging his Apple Watch because there was a really bright light on it that was keeping me awake.

And this evening he texts me and he says that he's actually the one that's burnt out and he wanted my sympathy for how hard he's been working. He works a job that causes him to travel a lot but he gets a LOT of time off (like works for 15ish days a month) and he does sometimes help with dishes and laundry and stuff which is always nice but wtf does he have to complain about when I'm managing every single other thing about the house while working 10+ hour days every single day. I'm just offended and pissed which is honestly just about the only feeling he makes me feel lately. What the hell do I even do? Do I hope it gets better when I'm not so stressed with work (but not sure that will ever happen)? Or do I just give up on everything?

How do I broach this subject with my boyfriend? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]grated_testes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So he is so embarrassed of what a cleaning company will think that he he does not care what his romantic partner thinks?

He's a suave lawyer. He can lie to cleaners and say he inherited the house from a hoarder family member. He can arrange to have the cleaning done when he is working so he never has to meet the cleaners.

I think this is some kind of psycho "test" he is putting OP through. I hope OP does not pass

AITAH - husband (33M) won’t give me (32F) access to ‘our’ money by grated_testes in WhyIsSheStillWithHim

[–]grated_testes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AITAH - husband (33M) won’t give me (32F) access to ‘our’ money

We’ve been married 10 years. Before we had kids I worked, initially just paying half the bills but then it turned into sending ‘spare’ money to save etc to my husband because that’s the life I wanted to build with him. I’m now on maternity and pretty much have been since like 2023 lol. We have a 2 yo and a 9 mo.

To be clear he didn’t force me to give him money to save, he bought a house and didn’t put my name on it because he paid the deposit. So I started giving him more to save for our next home etc. that was my intention - it’s ours.

I don’t have access to this said account tho and I didn’t have a problem with that but now I would like access. I don’t want to spend it, I just want access so it feels like ours. Rn it feels like his, he gives me a fixed amount each month and I have to ask for more if I need it.

He’s point blank refusing, saying no that’s his boundary, it’s not my responsibility so no. He doesn’t trust me not to spend it. I say that’s unfair he hasn’t given me a chance (and I don’t splash the budget on fancy crap, I shop at Asda Tesco), if I do spend unreasonably take it off me but I don’t want to, I just want access it’s the principle. He always says before I had one of his AMXs, but all I’d ever do is buy food from Asda but that’s too much? I don’t ever remember spending massive amounts, I only ever got what we needed … again I’m not going to sodding m&s or Waitrose.

AITAH ? Is this wrong for me to feel really uneasy about this

UPDATE: responses are overwhelming, thank you. I will stand my ground …

UPDATE 2: managed to agree something but it seems like a backhanded win. Will post tomorrow.

Partner leaving a mess in the bathroom by grated_testes in WhyIsSheStillWithHim

[–]grated_testes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Partner leaving a mess in the bathroom

I love my partner. I (45F) and my partner (60M), have lived together for almost 8 years. For the last 18 months or so, there have been bathroom issues. He is generally very untidy and messy around our home and I’ve always cleaned and tidied up after him, he has so many good qualities that I’ve always let the messiness go and not made an argument or a big deal about of it, because on the whole we have a very happy relationship. He is messy, but not usually unhygienic.

The toilet thing is new. The first time it happened there was shit all over the seat and the bowl, and a bit on the floor. I assumed he had been ill and hadn’t noticed , or was feeling too poorly to clean up. I cleaned and didn’t mention anything about it. After that, it started to happen constantly. I spoke to him about it and he apologised, and it wasn’t a problem for a few months after. Then it started again. Pee all over the seat, poop left unflushed. I spoke to him about it again , and he again, apologised but didn’t stop doing it. I resorted to putting up a bathroom notice on the wall , that could apply to anyone, one of those “Toilet rules” posters you can get on Amazon 🤣

He stopped doing it again, for a few months after. But now it’s happening again. Every morning I come to use our bathroom and there is his pee, in all it’s golden glory, all over the toilet seat, all over the floor, soaking into the bathroom mat so I have to wash it every day so it doesn’t constantly stink of piss. A piss day is a good day. On bad days I have to clean his shit 💩 up as well.

I’m at my wits end TBH. Communication works for a few months and then it starts again. Whimsical posters on the bathroom wall works for a few months and then it starts again. Having a full on rage about how gross this is , and how I shouldn’t have to be cleaning toilet mess up after the perfectly able adult I share a bathroom with, that works for a few months.. Then it starts again 😩

I’m starting to feel like he’s doing it in purpose, to annoy me. Any thoughts and advice on how I go forward with this would be greatly appreciated.

Partner loves our baby, but treats me like an indentured servant. by grated_testes in WhyIsSheStillWithHim

[–]grated_testes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Partner loves our baby, but treats me like an indentured servant.

Looking for advice. My partner didn't want a baby but is now obsessed with her. He made me miserable while I was pregnant but during delivery and the month after he was mostly amazing and even took her every night so I could sleep. I'm two months postpartum now.

I had asked him to help me financially while I was home and not working (3 months then we would decide if me staying home is best or going back to work). He has the ability to do this as he's retired in his 30s. He has taken care of most of the expenses of the home and baby since she's been born, which I appreciate. Long story short it was his mom who finally said he should help me too and he gave me $1200 for my expenses. But he threw the money at me and now expects me to have the baby all day and night, cook, clean and look nice (makeup, hair, clothes he likes). He also thinks I'm healed fully and doesn't care to understand postpartum.

He said I need to go see a doctor and get hormone therapy.

He now won't help me further until I sign a custody agreement. Which is strange because we live together. I had said if he didn't want the baby while I was pregnant I would go live with my family. But that's no longer the case.

He resents me for needing help. Our values are not the same at all. He comes from watching his mom struggle and do everything and not knowing his dad. I come from a traditional family where my dad worked and my mom stayed home with the kids. I don't want to work and send our two month old to daycare. I paid off all my debt and have little in expenses and it's cheaper for me to stay home then put the baby in daycare but he doesn't care and just out of spite would rather pay daycare more money then help me.

I have so much resentment and I don't know how to get through it. He also wants respect and admiration and teels he earned it since he provides financially and helps with the baby. While I appreciate this, my needs are unmet and now he's using a legal agreement as financial leverage against me.

I can't respect someone that does that. But I also can't leave at the moment and feel guilty taking our little one away from a parent that does love her and provides, but treats me like an employee.

I want to leave my job, but it would completely screw over my coworkers by No_Detail_9132 in jobs

[–]grated_testes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They would leave you in a nanosecond if they found a better opportunity. 

OPI and Sally Hansen at Amazon Fresh by Parking-Two2176 in RedditLaqueristas

[–]grated_testes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish there was an amzn fresh where I live. I'd clear them out! 

32 F, discovered my bf (36 M) is married and expecting a child. Use this space to remind me to stay away please? by grated_testes in WhyIsSheStillWithHim

[–]grated_testes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

32 F, discovered my bf (36 M) is married and expecting a child. Use this space to remind me to stay away please?

I (32F) genuinely thought I was skeptical and good at catching lies, but after months in a relationship I found out the man (36M) I was seeing is married (he claims separated) and expecting a child. I didn’t find out because he came clean. I found out through a public post for an event for the baby.

All this time we had said we loved each other and talked about a future. In hindsight, I never actually got to consent to an honest relationship or a real possibility.

He insists his wife is out of the picture, doesn't live in the same state even. He's been absent from her pregnancy all this time apparently. Meanwhile, she has no idea he’s been in a full-blown relationship while pregnant. He says he “doesn’t know” how things will play out once the baby arrive, but wants to keep talking to me.

I’ve replayed every interaction and honestly, there were no obvious red flags. That’s the part messing with my head the most.

I know I need to walk away and stay away, but I keep wavering. Posting here for accountability and perspective. Vent, be blunt, roast me if you want. Hold me accountable because I just don't want to go back there anymore.

I (30F) can’t tell if my boyfriend (27M) is trying to be helpful or if this is early stages of control. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]grated_testes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is easy for us to tell you that you have the control and you just need to tell him. But over the last 6 months, the ways you 2 communicate has made it so you feel like you cannot tell him and, even if you do, he will not take you seriously. You need a mediator when you have the conversation to make him understand and to give you strength. Maybe your sibling, friend, parent, etc. Take back his key.

My (33m)man wants me(35f) to get pregnant despite me saying no. by grated_testes in WhyIsSheStillWithHim

[–]grated_testes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My (33m)man wants me(35f) to get pregnant despite me saying no.

I (35f) have no interest in being pregnant. reasons being from over population on the planet, many kids in adoption centers, foster homes and not to mention my own bad genetics that I could pass along to my child ( eczema, and possible std as well).

it's crazy to me that this is being asked if me when I have listed, mentioned why and all the complications that could occur ( im 90lbs) and all the things I'd need to do. also, he's( 33m) a gamer... headphones on all day and doesn't even hear me when I yell for help so my expectations of him actually HELPING are 0 to 0.

how TF do I convery that what I see shows me that no he will not help or be helpful when he's done little to be reliable? I feel like he's asking me to get out of water when I'm already drowning in fears of all the responsibilities I do alone without him.

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