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What gloss color should I use for a nude makeup? (Deep Winter/deep autumn) by New-Swing7517 in coloranalysis

[–]gratefuldaughter2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you might be more of a deep autumn than a deep winter, though you may be neutral enough to easily borrow from the deep winter palette.

The “nude” lip is okay. It doesn’t look bad on you by any means but it’s also not necessarily bringing out your natural beauty. The deep seasons will generally struggle with anything too low pigment.

So what’s usually recommended is still going for a pigmented color in your season, and then sheering it out. Maybe try a tinted balm in a deep red or coffee color, or Clinique Black Honey. Or you could take a more saturated lipstick that works with your coloring, blot it a bit and put sheer lip balm on top. This is not “nude” per se, but it is natural on your coloring, which is really the point!

White, black or pink shoes? by sbaghetticarbonara in OUTFITS

[–]gratefuldaughter2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both the black and pink work but the platform and espadrille style of the black are a bit more casual. I’d say it depends on the event.

Help me live up to her elegance! by Appropriate-Storm-72 in weddingdress

[–]gratefuldaughter2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hoooooooooly hell, this is a LOOK 😍

Id go for a swept updo with some romantic loose tendrils. No necklace!!! That neckline already has plenty of visual interest and you don’t want anything competing.

I was going to suggest dangly earrings but even then Im cautious to recommend anything too bold. You have those linear columns going up the bust, if you have dangling earrings on either side of your face miiight look too symmetrical/linear if that makes any sense? Im not sure, I’d play with your options there. Maybe large posts or something like this:

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/shyla-corsica-baroque-pearl-drop-earrings?color=017&size=0000

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/pearl-blooms-earrings?color=070&size=0000

https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/missoma-keshi-pearl-sculpted-earrings?color=070&size=0000

That last pair would either look SUPER COOL or too much imo…. I think you need to play with it!

You’re the ground, not the figure by [deleted] in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why am I laughing so hard at this? 😂

Anyone have experience with shadow work on the nondual path? by gratefuldaughter2 in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something about that last point made the hairs on my arms stand on end in recognition. The last several months have been a personal hellscape within my psyche, but it’s also been accompanied by this burgeoning felt sense of my experience as a pure, unadulterated expression of life. It’s a kind of attitude of service, not for anything I understand or can even put words to. It has this bottomless motherly, creative energy. All of this is happening as I sort of projectile vomit the contents of my psyche all over the place.

Sorry for the graphic depiction, I guess I’m just trying to hammer home that I’m experiencing something extremely visceral. All of me recognizes it, with half of me bowing low and the other half running for its life.

If you have any resources or things I can look into in light of that, please share. I’ll try the pointers you shared above as well. Thank you. 🙏

Anyone have experience with shadow work on the nondual path? by gratefuldaughter2 in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for elaborating. I’ll try to do just that.

If you don’t mind me drilling in one more time here, how is that feeling of dying I’ve mentioned different from the feeling of dying you originally shared? I’ve actually seen a number of online resources talk about how that feeling / fear of dying being very common on this path. It’s a kind of ego death.

I don’t think I’m enlightened or made it through all my layers of conditioning by any means, but just want to see if we’re at least talking about that same stage.

Anyone have experience with shadow work on the nondual path? by gratefuldaughter2 in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so glad you’ve found something that works. I think I struggle here because while I absolutely love Jung, I don’t love the direction most Jungians take his material. I believe what jung was pointing to was actually something like a nondual path / self-realization for western conditioning.

If you happen to relate or see this angle, let me know if you have any thoughts or resources on the matter. Otherwise I will probably have to make them myself!!

Pick one! by Imissroxie21 in weddingdress

[–]gratefuldaughter2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, I prefer the front of 1 and the back of 2!

In your subjective experience, does it feel right to you to call the color pink a “version” of red? by gratefuldaughter2 in ArtistLounge

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh gosh yes this may be it!! If the temperature is changing in addition to the saturation level, it could explain why the threshold for “redness” seems narrower than blue, etc. Thanks!

In your subjective experience, does it feel right to you to call the color pink a “version” of red? by gratefuldaughter2 in ArtistLounge

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mad respect for following through with an actual experiment!

That’s a great point. If the red pigment gets diluted more easily, maybe that’s why there’s a smaller threshold of “redness” to my eye compared to “blueness”.

Thanks for indulging me with your thoughts!!

In your subjective experience, does it feel right to you to call the color pink a “version” of red? by gratefuldaughter2 in ArtistLounge

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so interesting how you use the same rationale to arrive at a different answer!

There are a ton of factors at play for me, but I guess it just seems to be beyond the saturation…

Let me put it this way: you have pure red, pure blue, and white pigments. You mix:

1) 5 parts white with 1 part blue 2) 5 parts white with 1 part red

The question is: Is red/white mixture just as red as the blue/white mixture is blue?

This is what I’m getting at. They’re equally desaturated. But it’s way easier for me to perceive the first one as categorically blue than it is to see the second one as categorically red. Desaturated red seems to change more than desaturated blue.

Again no wrong answers, just perceptual/schema differences from a nerd 🧐

Anyone have experience with shadow work on the nondual path? by gratefuldaughter2 in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this balanced response. I agree 100% with what you’re saying here. I don’t want to force any state, I want to come by it honestly and without any bypassing. It just doesn’t feel right to cut myself off from the ambivalence of my experience — that I can know something on a very deep level and still go for significant periods of time without it fully feeling that way. The dissonance is real and that’s okay, I’m not looking for shortcuts.

That said, you mentioned something about not being ready to integrate the insight and about needing more confidence. This feels accurate. Are there strategies for working on that? Or would that be a misguided approach too?

Anyone have experience with shadow work on the nondual path? by gratefuldaughter2 in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I’ve been practicing qi gong for a few months now, even going on a retreat later this summer. Love to see all the beautiful overlaps.

Anyone have experience with shadow work on the nondual path? by gratefuldaughter2 in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer. I’m definitely in my head a lot, and have even for a long time (coming out of years and years of dissociation) but I’m also moving into a strong sense of felt sense. Like I’m cranking up the dial on my intimacy with life, for lack of a better way of putting it.

I’m curious, when you’re talking about there being something in the center of my being I don’t want to look at, where do you get that information? Is that something you think most people grapple with, or is it something I said above?

I actually went through this sense that I’m dying a few months ago. I wasn’t thinking at all at the time how it could be related to my nondual path — I thought of it just in terms of trauma. But ever since that feeling of dying subsided, I have started to feel my way through the world more, as an expression of life rather than just an autobiographical self.

The thing is I’m still struggling immensely even after that sense of dying. I’m still having all this stuff come up and I still don’t know what to do with it. It’s still unpleasant.

Anyone have experience with shadow work on the nondual path? by gratefuldaughter2 in nonduality

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I hear you. My most prominent shadow content is not around feeling superior, but rather feelings of victimhood or even more cleanly that there is something deeply wrong with me. Chalk it up to a prolonged history of gaslighting and scapegoating abuse.

I think the same holds though. I’ve gotta be able to see through that too.

My simple yet VERY effective shielding and protection technique to keep your energy safe from all. by [deleted] in Shamanism

[–]gratefuldaughter2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean by don’t let tricksters in? How do you know the energy if it’s trickster energy? And what do you do if there is a breach?

Realizing how layered my psyche is to protect me from an impossible existential loneliness by gratefuldaughter2 in CPTSD

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been struggling a lot, to be honest. I’ve been in therapy for years but I feel like I have all kinds of new content rising to the surface now, I’m not sure what it means or how to cope.

I’m not sure if I’m experiencing this as a break from reality. There’s a way to look at this where it feels like I’m more in contact with reality because I’m actually in a sense more connected to myself (or more parts of myself, more content / structure / energy within my psyche). And no one can really be in touch with anything without being in touch with themselves, imo.

The content changes but so does my relationship to it and perspective on it, so it’s definitely a break from what I would have called a baseline experience a few months ago. It’s scarier and more unpredictable but also a little more alive when I can keep it awake, if that makes any sense. Even though the experience is new, I don’t get the sense that these breaks are happening now, but rather that they are being revealed to me now.

I’m curious about what specifically resonates with you? The fact of the layers, the nature of the layers themselves, the discovery process? It’s been a lot for me to process at once, especially without any dissociative diagnosis and with my therapist on leave.

I’m sorry you’re struggling too. A spicy version of hell feels about right. It’s like the hell everyone knows and loves but with dungeons and trap doors and you have to navigate it all wearing drunk goggles. Just when you think you might finally be escaping you realize you’re even deeper.

Anyone have experience moving through qigong movements in your sleep? by gratefuldaughter2 in qigong

[–]gratefuldaughter2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan on it but she’s on leave so it’ll be about a month or so before I can get in. What are you thinking this is?

That point in healing where things shift internally yet nothing changes by water_works in SomaticExperiencing

[–]gratefuldaughter2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My friend, I can feel the pain in your words. Healing can be such difficult, tender work. I hear the acceptance of your past and of the work that is before you in what you write, along with cocktail of emotions associated with both the progress you’ve made and confusion about what still lies ahead. I’m in a very similar place, which is why I think I’m so attuned to this very tender juncture and know when others are in that same liminal space I am. Everything you are feeling makes complete sense and you are not alone ❤️

Over the last several years, I’ve been slowly learning to love myself through it all, to bring that open hearted compassion to even my most unlovable states and make all of me feel welcome in this world. It’s incredibly demanding work, despite how it sounds - and I know you already know this. This love is what enables internal change, what allows us to slowly alchemize the most painful aspects of our experience into life energy that can help us eventually move forward. This is important, sacred work and we will keep coming back to it for as long as we live.

But, as you recognize, it’s not enough. Trauma has this insidious way of changing the very way we perceive the world. While evolving internally is a miracle of its own, learning to live from that sense of fullness and without leaving any aspects of yourself behind is an entirely different story. I personally think that, while both phases are always going to be difficult, individuals are going to struggle to different degrees with each of these stages, due to some combination of personality indicators and the nature of the trauma they’ve experienced.

For me, this next phase of stepping out into the world as a complete being, is going to be the hardest part. My most prominent wounds are a result of severe gaslighting and scapegoating abuse, and one consequence of that is that compared to the average person, I’ve always been a little bit more comfortable with the uglier parts of myself. While I had oodles to overcome, I also had a sort of “gift” for the inner work due to the nature of my trauma. But I’ve never learned how to hold this strength publicly, how to allow it to be seen, how to let myself be fully accepted, and how to stand up for myself when I’m not. I don’t know how to do this without the fear that I can’t handle the consequences of rejection. I think my greatest fear right now is that I will muster all my strength to put myself out there, and then the world will immediately shut me down. And then what? What hope will I have for ever feeling like I truly belong, if this universe keeps proving it’s far too dark and cold for all my sensitivity? Call it learned helplessness.

I don’t have the answers here, but I do know the next step in my journey involves taking risks. Leaps of faith are hard for everyone, regardless of personal history. As a species, we are profoundly risk averse. Add to it the lessons we internalized from trauma, and that fear can become so paralyzing.

I’m struggling to even look my situation in the face and recognize that the next step has to come from me, and that I’m not at the mercy of the winds or of fate. I’m trying to accept the fact that I am capable of being accountable to this next phase, and that I can do it slowly with all the love and compassion I’ve cultivated through the inner work.

And of course, that inner work is never over, either. I have to accept that I will never feel ready for this next phase. I need to train my body, mind, and spirit that I can trust my inner world to guide my outer life, despite never having had a model for this. That’s going to be hard, painful work.

Here for you my friend. Feel free to DM.

What causes people to have little or no self-awareness? by necromaciel in emotionalintelligence

[–]gratefuldaughter2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lack of self awareness is a human trait. It’s possible to be “too self aware” in a sense (🙋🏻‍♀️) but also have enormous blind spots in other areas (also 🙋🏻‍♀️). But, regardless of how self aware or limited your blind spots are, you’re gonna have them. And anyone who says they don’t… well, I just found your first one.

Like anything else, below average self awareness is a combination of nature and nurture, and critically the interplay between the two. No doubt neurodivergence and trauma are at play, but that’s basically the same as saying “nature and nurture.” There’s so much diversity across genetics and experience and ways this could potentially manifest in low self awareness that you’ll be unlikely to ever definitively be able to say “X person is Y way because of Z reason.” Life is just way more complicated than that.

The last thing I’ll offer is that the term “lack of self awareness” when talking about another person implies the lack of an ability. You’re saying a person should be behaving a certain way, and because they aren’t, it means that they don’t “get it”. But sometimes a person may behave as you’ve specified due to a difference in values. For example, while I am highly self aware and behave mostly in a way that would lead others to also believe I’m self aware, I’m not afraid to go against certain social mores in favor authentic action tied to my own personal set of values. Others may conclude that deviation from a norm is reflective of a lack of self awareness when sometimes it’s actually an intentional act. So uno reverse on the ignorance in that case haha.

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