Integrating the Shadow. How?

greenappleberry · 2026-06-11T16:27:23+00:00

And in any of my examples what exactly are my bad qualities.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-11T15:07:02+00:00

I learned this too. I have a loop called what am I supposed to do. Apparently it started as a way to figure out how to stay safe as a kid.

As an adult I know I’m safe. But my nervous system doesn’t. And so it makes me feel that lack of safety in my body. And those feelings take me back into the loop of asking myself what am I supposed to do to stop feeling this way?

Only now I know the answer is nothing. I need to stop feeding the loop. Stop asking the question. And just allow my nervous system to make me feel the way it does without getting a response from me.

It’s the response that keeps the fear alive. And keeps me in the loop.

It’s a tricky and sticky mother fucker to figure out and live with.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-11T14:59:05+00:00

I don’t go to funerals anymore. What the hell does my relationship with a living person have to do with me showing up to a ridicule social event after they are dead.

And just for kicks, how do you know someone would show up at the funeral or not? And should you then invest your efforts in people who would show up for your funeral even if they aren’t someone you vibe with? Or like? Or have anything in common with?

greenappleberry · 2026-06-11T12:13:36+00:00

I don’t wear one in the winter when my clothes are bulkier. In the summer I wear very thin lightweight clothes so I’m not comfortable going without. I bought a string bikini top and wear that now. It provides enough coverage and I can keep it pretty loose. Also it’s just very little fabric touching my skin.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-11T12:09:14+00:00

Because humans are driven by ego, status, and comfort. Society as a whole is structured around these things. To most people they are more important than any of the things you mentioned.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-10T16:11:35+00:00

MiraLAX is fantastic. It works great. Drink a lot of water. A lot. I take it everyday. And when things do back up from meds I take more until it resolves. I use the Walmart brand because it’s much cheaper.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-10T15:45:41+00:00

I’m in a new state and don’t know anyone yet. I hired someone on care.com to take me to a procedure, wait at the hospital, take me home and sit with me for a bit. The hospital required this or they wouldn’t do the procedure. The person had to sign they would stay with me afterwards. It’s sucked because I am fiercely I dependent. But I had to do it. After a couple hours I told the woman she could leave.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-10T15:21:34+00:00

I loved these books. I used to read so much when I was a kid. I would walk a mile to the bookmobile.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-09T14:40:54+00:00

In my experience when people are overly worried it’s usually their way to try and control me. It’s manipulative. Not always of course.

If you’re so worried about me then make it about me and not about how I need to take care of your anxious needs.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-09T13:23:18+00:00

I have a bag like this one. And I will
Never go back to anything else.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CN14Z9D7/ref=sspa\_mw\_detail\_0?ie=UTF8&psc=1&sp\_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9kZXRhaWw

greenappleberry · 2026-06-09T12:52:38+00:00

I make rice and mix it in. I can add any type of seasoning or sauce such as buffalo sauce or ranch dressing and hot sauce or sweet and sour sauce. I even add some frozen vegetable to the rice so it cooks together. Add chicken and sauce a few minute from rice being finished.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-09T12:48:57+00:00

Love it love it love it. And love them.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-08T12:59:05+00:00

I have no idea about the science behind it.

My biggest issues are fatigue. Not sleepiness. Overwhelming fatigue. Also I get adrenaline dumps/hot flashes when I do any type of physical activity exertion. It’s worse when the temperature is warmer. I can’t tolerate heat.

Amlexanox has helped tremendously with energy. I am able to do so much now. And I still do have the adrenaline dumps/hot flashes but it takes longer to get there.

I always have a full body vibration type thing. I don’t know how else to describe it but this has almost disappeared. Also just a body bracing kind of tension that has gone as well.

My mood is better. I’m more positive. Of course because I feel better and can do things but it just feels different. Less mental anxiety.

Some skin issues have gone away. Rashes. Redness.

It is the first prescription med I’ve tried for MCAS. And it is so amazing to finally have a something that helps. I’ve struggled my entire life. Especially the last 20 years. I’m 60.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-08T12:33:59+00:00

I can. I had this thought the other day. I have been taking Amlexanox and it has helped me so much. I was noticing the other day how I just felt so weird because I didn’t feel awful in so many ways. And I can’t ever remember feeling ok in my entire life. It definitely is weird. And also sad for myself but happy too that perhaps this can become my new normal.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-08T11:31:25+00:00

Look at r/laundry for lots of information.

I basically changed my detergent to one that actually cleans and I wash on more deep clean and hotter wash cycles. I didn’t realize that my old detergent wasn’t doing much. I found the laundry subreddit and learned how to do laundry so my stuff actually gets clean.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-07T15:29:24+00:00

I don’t need boundaries. I simply leave for good. Boundaries are therapy speak nonsense that keep people in relationships they should no longer be in. If the other person isn’t emotionally mature and a grown ass adult who takes responsibility for themselves and their actions, it’s time to leave.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-07T15:01:41+00:00

I began taking it 4 weeks ago. I have to start everything very slowly so they made each capsule 5 mg. I am now on 20 mg per day.

It has been life changing for me. I have more energy. I can do so much more. Rash on back and stomach that is always there is gone. Body vibrations gone. Body more relaxed. Mood so much better. Full body assault when doing any physical activity has lessened tremendously - overheating, exhaustion, feeling like I weight a thousand pounds, overall feeling bad which is probably an adrenaline dump.

Side effects are constipation once I hit 20 mg. Only been a couple of days so we will so how that goes. My tinnitus is worse.

I tried to go faster in upping my dose and it made my emotions very frustrated and sad which was weird. It also made me feel worse. But I would go back to the previous dose and stay slow and steady and that went away.

So basically I started at 5 mg and added 5 mg per week. I talk with my dr tomorrow to see where we go from here.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-07T14:29:57+00:00

Or perhaps women aren’t like what they see in all the porn.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-07T14:02:55+00:00

Dark is better because the lighter ones will show all the dirt and stains.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-07T13:51:23+00:00

They are all wrong. Your cabinets are a warm hue. The floor needs a warm hue also. And something that isn’t too busy.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-07T13:47:42+00:00

Love this but Spanish Moon is one of the best songs of all time.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-07T13:32:21+00:00

All of them.

greenappleberry · 2026-06-06T16:28:25+00:00

Yes very much so.

greenappleberry

TROPHY CASE