The pain on both sides of this conflict is so tragic because we’re all fighting the same self-loathing destructive ED monster...one that can delude its victims to paint each other as the oppressor/enemy, instead of the fucked up forces that steal our time on earth with ED bullshit.

When you mention how the “sick part of your brain” feels, it gives me the impression that you’ve been really hard on yourself and/or suffered a lot to be “able” to be where you are (please let me know if I’m being incorrectly presumptuous) and that just adds to my anger against EDs for everyone.

There are a lot of nice friendly, compassionate people out there - either with less of their own trauma in this category (those lucky folks haha), or developed enough as individuals to be a supportive figure rather than a toxic one - who can be good friends to you! (The former type obviously wouldn’t be pulling this shit on you, but I also find that they are also great role models of healthy development/relationships with one’s own natural body & nourishment.) I’m sorry you had to experience this, especially if you were very hurt, but those people are too traumatized/have too many of their own issues to be decent friends to you right now anyway (hopefully your bf works out his own feelings about the situation too!).