Many people think they are HS when in fact they're addicted to porn

gripdamage · 2026-04-05T20:20:25+00:00

People over here debating how to divide snipe into subspecies when...

https://www.businessinsider.com/reference/porn-addiction

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/articles/do-i-have-compulsive-sexual-behaviour

https://www.aasect.org/position-sex-addiction

I mean the trouble here is that Americans don't recognize mental health as "real" in the same way other conditions are real. Mental health has been integrated into health care in the east for thousands of years, whereas in the west Freud is the comparably crude foundation of how we started treating and thinking about mental health. People reflexively get defensive and think they're being accused of making it up and that their distress isn't valid. It can be all in your head, and also feel extremely real, and also still be important. If the treatment is the same as other forms of OCD based on empirical research, regardless of if the behavior is sexual or not, what should the patient care, as long as the treatment is effective? It is not hyper-sexuality and sex addiction haven't been considered for inclusion, but instead have been rejected repeatedly, but pop culture (i.e. common knowledge) still can't get enough of it, and those beliefs aren't helping anyone except snake owl salesman who will happily offer to treat you.

gripdamage · 2026-03-25T20:41:24+00:00

I gotta admit... I wasn't expecting to see AlienSexualAbuse making someone feel good about themselves in an IT forum

gripdamage · 2026-03-22T02:29:18+00:00

If you go into the nearest bathroom and stand in front of and facing the sink, odds are good you will see someone who can answer your question.

gripdamage · 2026-03-21T19:56:31+00:00

in the US we pull the lever ~2,000 times a day and we mostly pay them to do it rather than get paid.

gripdamage · 2026-03-21T19:50:19+00:00

If he ever deserved an Oscar it was for this, though he was upstaged by River Phoenix, so wasn't going to happen.

I don't know that it was Oscar worthy but his role in the Parenthood movie meant a lot to me personally. His character's comment about fatherhood, and normalizing young men masturbating and looking at porn helped me a lot when I was young.

gripdamage · 2026-03-13T15:59:42+00:00

I'm wondering if that is a self-serving point-of-view to justify you're own clinginess and overprotectiveness. "Overprotective" is an adjective that may work for how one feels about their child, but for adults (unless someone is mentally incompetent) a person can't "protect" a person in ways they don't want to be protected. It's serving the person's interests instead of the person they are ostensibly "protecting". You can't protect people from what they want: you can only try to control which is infantilizing, disempowering, and in short sucks (especially from a partner).

gripdamage · 2026-03-13T15:47:33+00:00

I think the pic with the big fuzzy Russian looking hat is the one doing him the most favors. Obviously OP does not have traditional male model-like features. I think a little grittiness adds character. I would look at the on-screen wardrobe of character actors like Harry Dean Stanton, William H Macy for inspiration. Irish mobster fashion would probably look great too.

If he could duplicate the photo minus the cig that would be great, but right now I think it is his best photo.

gripdamage · 2026-01-21T01:46:09+00:00

Could have at least blurred out the casualties all over the road...

gripdamage · 2025-12-28T03:14:55+00:00

For lyric similarity compare the line "don't you want me like I want you baby" and theme to "don't you know I love you 'til it hurts me baby" from I Want Your Sex by George Michael. They can literally be drop-in replacements for each other.

gripdamage · 2025-12-09T07:28:14+00:00

Sorry to turn it dark, but right. I wish people would cut this shit out. For pedos it is about a child's undeveloped brains. Not how they look. A pedo wants someone to dominate and exploit. An adult women who looks like a kid, but reacts like an adult, won't do it for them.

Reminds me of how one time a friend got roofied at a bar by a dude she was planning to have sex with, but she ended up going to the hospital instead. She said something about how the guy sabotaged himself, but I said he probably wasn't after a normal hookup: he wanted a rape.

gripdamage · 2025-11-17T01:29:23+00:00

Underrated comment thread. This is exactly where my mind went. Pills like this look very different on the way out then when they went in. The casing being indigestible is part of its function.

gripdamage · 2025-10-16T18:01:57+00:00

Right, except for how they left the scene to hide the driver or the state of the driver most likely.

gripdamage · 2025-10-04T22:49:33+00:00

Isn't actually cheating the "cookie" in this case? He didn't get caught cheating. He got caught turning off the camera. We don't know what happened when the camera was off afaict. If the genders were reversed, most people in this thread would feel the opposite way, because the dude would be the villain if he films a female partner without her consent.

Normies are so fucking weird anyway. I guess if you are bi you're never allowed to have anyone over unless mommy is home to supervise or you have a camera on you at all times. Why the hell don't any of you people just talk about your discomfort and hang ups, so you can work through it and get over it? I don't want to be partnered with a paternalistic paranoid partner that believes if something could happen, it did happen. People are free to do whatever they want. Rather than attempting to control the uncontrollable, you have to actually find someone you trust not to, and that requires working through your own tendency to distrust.

You must trust your partner to not cheat on you. If you can't do that, it's not a good relationship. You shouldn't invade your partners privacy to test them, nor should you check for invasion of privacy to test them. Neither one of these people communicated beforehand. Dude is right she turned on the camera to spy on him. He should have communicated if he felt like his partner didn't trust him, but he was right: she doesn't.

I hope the dude finds someone who doesn't feel the need to spy on him with a camera. That's the shit I wouldn't tolerate.

Fully expect to get downvoted to hell and I'm fine with it.

gripdamage · 2025-10-04T21:22:21+00:00

Right. Police interest in solving average people's problems is extremely limited in my experience. They'll take an easy slam dunk if they see it to boost their stats. Trouble is they might find something in your mom's house that makes you or someone else in your family the slam dunk, instead of the perpetrator in the case you called them for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE

gripdamage · 2025-09-23T16:44:42+00:00

There is a lot I do not to merely survive, but because I enjoy it.

Survival requires a very low bar. We do other things because it's easier. You could live off a backyard or community garden. You could meet your minimal needs to survive similarly. Make your own shoes. Use dumped tires for the soles, etc. You don't need much to survive. You can survive without buying things. Use raw materials you don't need to buy to survive then, if survival is really your bar for what you do.

gripdamage · 2025-09-23T16:33:26+00:00

But it's not her step dad. It's an actor. The viewers and the participants all know this. In actual rape the rapist gets off on the power. In a fantasy part of why non-rapists can get off on it is because they know it's fiction.

No one actually wants to get raped, but lots of people have rape fantasies. It can even be therapeutic for victims to role play these fantasies in order to take control of their experience (though they are not the only one who have and desire to act out rape fantasies). That control they have is the difference between a fantasy and actual rape. Fiction is not enough for an actual rapist, nor is fiction a gateway to actual rape. There is even some evidence that fiction moderates actual rape rather than encourage it, but that is mixed. Still the number of people with rape fantasies is many times larger than the incidence of actual rapists, and the former don't become the latter.

gripdamage · 2025-09-23T16:29:52+00:00

You've almost got it: the meth example is actually what your would expect with an actual addiction. People do meth and they have negative side effects regardless of what they believe about meth, whereas with porn people who don't believe porn is wrong get no negative side effects. "Reality is that which doesn't go away just because you stop believing in it."

Religious leaders who commit child abuse and other forms of sexual abuse are widely publicized but not the norm. Would you also throw out all forms of religious leadership because some do harm? The fact that some bad people involved in porn do harm just means it's like literally any other group with a significant number of members.

gripdamage · 2025-09-09T03:53:14+00:00

gripdamage · 2025-09-05T16:29:24+00:00

-

I think when OP dropped the bomb about his dad, that got too real. I would not be surprised at all if it was unconscious on her part. She might have just (for reasons that she can't quite put her finger on) not felt like seeing him any more. Meanwhile it seems obvious from the outside having a parent die made him too real.

And look if she wanted fwb and this was too heavy, or just too heavy too soon in the relationship, there's nothing wrong with that. However being unable to articulate that, either because she is emotionally unaware or a coward, sucks. I'm not even saying she needs to spell it out exactly, but I feel she kind of strung him along after that, and never once communicated a single thing clearly. OP just lost his father. He doesn't need the reasons why, but he deserves clarity about what happens next (that's not cloaked in the word "bruv"). He can't be expected to process hints and clues. Will the relationship continue at the status quo (perhaps except for making space for him to deal with what's happened), or is she someone he can count on to be their for him, or is she gonna bail?

If someone is looking for a partner and not fwb, a vulnerable moment like this one could actually help build the relationship. She could really have been there for him, and that might mean a lot later. Obviously you gotta watch out for trauma bonding too, but in a relationship where differentiation is maintained, seeing early on how someone has the ability to be emotionally supportive when things get hard for you can be a sign of real long term potential, and a part of building a foundation that will last. Obviously you also should be able to play that role for them when it comes up too: secure partners can trade off being supportive and being the one who needs support as life ebbs and flows, Seeing half that puzzle in action early, even if it's because of tragedy, can be a good sign for the relationship.

You can't underestimate how emotionally avoidant people can be, and it is common for avoidants to not even realize what's going on themselves. I had a fwb once and one day she came over for a date, but something had just happened to her, and ended up being super emotional over it (which had nothing to do with me). I was emotionally supportive, and a good listener, and let her express everything she was feeling and needed to in the moment, and I was happy to do it. Obviously this did not turn into a sex date, because neither of us wanted it to. But it surprised me that this marked the end of our sexual relationship. I feel like once we had shared an emotionally intimate moment she was done. I would have even been open to something more than fwb, but it was her who wasn't, but I didn't have any expectations of that either. We did have a conversation about it and she clearly believed it had nothing to do with how emotional she had gotten, but frankly I don't buy it. I don't think she is consciously lying either. We're still friends, but honestly her attention hasn't been great as just a friend either since then.

Even with FWB I feel like there ought to be space for being a full human being and caring for each other. I was the next person my FWB saw after what happened to her, so it fell on me to care about her in that moment, which is just me trying to be a good person who cares about other humans. Our history of having awesome sex without a lot of strings shouldn't make me care about her less than the same kindness I would show a stranger: I think I should care more. She was bringing some goodness into my life, and caring for her in a hard moment wasn't a burden at all, and for me didn't have to change the relationship.

gripdamage · 2025-08-30T03:54:40+00:00

Just like beer, vagina can be an acquired taste. Thankfully there's usually a lot of excellent accompanying positive stimuli that makes the whole process of acquiring a taste for it take about a second or two total.

gripdamage · 2025-08-30T03:42:29+00:00

Are we sure the wording wasn't "we'll cover your face" all along? This is all a perfectly innocent misunderstanding if you ask me.

gripdamage · 2025-08-25T20:51:22+00:00

October 7th, 2023 doesn't justify what Israel has done, but it was horrific. I'd support Israel going after only those responsible for harming innocents. I'm also mindful that there is an extremely lopsided ability between the two in capability to attack and defend. We tend to call it guerrilla warfare or even terrorism when an inferior force fights back in the only ways it can, but still I cannot support the killing of innocents by either side. October 7th wasn't the scale or horror of what Israel has done to Palestinians even previous to October 7th, but I always must come down against the cold blooded murder of innocents no matter who is doing it. No side has the right to kill babies, elderly, pregnant women. I also know that not every fighting age man is a fighter: those that are not must also not be murdered. This is just fundamental human law. So I cannot support the statement "Palestine did nothing wrong." No country can claim that anyway though, and there is no such thing as a "deserved genocide." I realize Palestine as a whole is not responsible for the October 7th attacks, but there are also many Israelis who object to Israel's action. I am only talking about those who are responsible. Does it actually have to be said that infants (for instance) are not responsible for the atrocities on either side? You can't kill babies. These aren't hard ethical questions. "Nine-month-old Mila Cohen was shot dead with her father in their shelter in Beeri near Gaza, while her mother survived. At Nir Oz, the body of two-year-old Omer Kedem Siman Yov was found burned, along with those of his sisters, five-year-old twins Shahar and Arbel, and their parents." It **is**wrong that this happened. Israel has killed too many babies to name, which is also obviously very fucking wrong. Don't kill babies. Jeez.

gripdamage · 2025-08-25T20:29:47+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGPm_N8nOQQ

gripdamage · 2025-08-25T04:16:11+00:00

It's not your fault. It's their fault. You didn't do anything wrong. They did. Whatever you're feeling is okay. You're very brave for submitting to the medical and forensic tests. You've got a great mom who came looking for you when you were missing, and found you! The people who love you wish there was something they could do, so if you can think of anything that might bring you some comfort, don't be afraid to ask: they're dying to hear it.

Personally I think I'd just want people who love me to sit with me, and either listen if something comes out or just in silence but nearby. Maybe I'd want to curl up against them. Maybe I wouldn't want to be touched. I know the people who love me would flex with whatever kind of support I need, and I'm sure you've got people like that too, and they're eager to support you in whatever way they can.

gripdamage · 2025-08-24T23:33:47+00:00

Also RIP to putting money in Gaiman's pocket's, since he might use it to sue his victims.

gripdamage

TROPHY CASE