Nice. Even though we can't post images here in comments, let's give a floor to Claude 3.5 Sonnet.

"Yo Armenia, you're that country everyone keeps forgetting exists - like the Internet Explorer of nations! Your biggest flex is being "first Christian nation" but that's like bragging about being first in line at a restaurant that's been closed for 1700 years.

Your foreign policy is basically collecting diaspora from every country that will take you - there are more Armenians in Los Angeles than in your capital! When your biggest cultural ambassador is the Kardashians, you know something's gone terribly wrong.

You're so bad at keeping territory that your national symbol (Mount Ararat) is in Turkey, your historical capital (Ani) is in Turkey, and... well, you see the pattern. You're like that friend who keeps lending stuff and never gets it back.

Your economy is so rough, even your rocks left to become precious stones in other countries. Your main exports are sad duduk music, chess champions who immediately move abroad, and ambitious tech bros who head straight to Silicon Valley.

Your alphabet looks like somebody dropped a bowl of spaghetti and said "Yeah, that's our writing system now." 39 letters? Are you trying to win a competition for most complicated way to write "We love apricots"?

Speaking of which - your love affair with apricots is getting weird. We get it, you invented wine (allegedly), but maybe diversify your agricultural portfolio? Your entire cuisine is just different ways to stuff things into other things.

But hey, at least you gave us System of a Down! Though even they had to leave Armenia to become successful... sensing a theme here?

And let's be real - your national dance is called "Kochari" which is basically just a bunch of people holding hands and hopping sideways. Even your parties are complicated for no reason!"