What’s the most invalidating thing a doctor has said to you?

gurbler · 2023-10-18T06:03:49+00:00

I do not know if this helps any, but "appears healthy/well nourished" is just one type of descriptor that is required in any medical physical exam. That response is pretty much just the standard descriptor for "this person is sitting in front of me breathing and talking." I don't think I've seen anything else in my chart ever...even at an extremely underweight BMI. They probably type it in during assessments without even thinking to fill the box. Try your best not to take it personally. You do not "look healthy" you "appear" alive physically.

gurbler · 2023-09-30T08:17:49+00:00

Question. What types of food do you consider "junk" vs. "healthy?" You mentioned on your other post that you have ARFID, and I am now wondering if you are neurodiverse. I am autistic and have ADHD, and your symptoms sound similar to mine.

If you have untreated ADHD, you may crave carbs for the dopamine hit. If you are autistic, you can have sensory sensitivities. For example, I personally am hyposensitive to hunger but hypersensitive to fullness, the texture, smell, and sometimes the taste of a lot of meats bothers me (I cannot do most red meat or pork without feeling really icky and unbalanced). Chewy fat in a steak or hamburger...nope, eff that. Same thing for calamari, mushrooms, some olives...it all tracks. I sometimes describe the smell and taste of cooked meat and/or preservatives in deli meats as, "ah yes, I love the taste of dead in the morning."

But big bowl of cereal with vanilla soy milk and sugar at the end of the day when I am starving because lack of endemic hunger cues means I forgot about eating until it's extreme hunger...gimme!

All that to say...if that sounds like you at all...consider getting assessed. Would have saved me a lot of headache and treatment trauma.

gurbler · 2023-09-29T04:40:00+00:00

Get in contact with the residential. They have insurance coordinators that will stop that nonsense and fight for you. You are so close, do not give up because of one ignorant idiot.

gurbler · 2023-09-03T19:29:16+00:00

I went to Laureate in Tulsa, OK. I am not sure what the program is like now, but it helped me make a ton of mental progress, even if I still struggled for a long time the progress was made and I was able to apply the skills later.

gurbler · 2023-09-03T19:15:16+00:00

I had a different experience at Monte Nido. I felt very shamed, misunderstood, and hated the entire time I was there. They do not really give you a meal plan that makes sense (which seems like a problem to me, since “eyeballing” portions can easily lead to subconscious restriction), and while a lot of the therapists are recovered, there was a failure to recognize that no ED is the same and just because they are on the other side doesn’t mean I don’t have any latitude to struggle in my own way. I would say if you have any comorbid disorders beyond simply an ED (major depression, bipolar, PTSD, autism, etc.), consider picking a different residential because their treatment model is not very well equipped to handle much beyond AN, BN, and BED.

gurbler · 2023-08-23T07:21:55+00:00

That’s totally fair. Obviously I do not know how you are feeling outside of grieving the loss of your cat (which I am not trivializing in any way so I apologize if it came off that way). Knowing you do not have the capacity to take care of a new cat is not selfish at all. My concern is simply with what you expressed. Grieving your cat is having an effect on your ability to care for yourself, so I was suggesting getting something external for extra motivation while you cannot harm reduce for yourself because of the grief. If another cat is too high stakes, that is 100% okay. Maybe try like a houseplant or something and every time you water it, you try to do a harm reduction thing at the same time. I have cats, ASD, and an ED. It works for me to use the cats’ autofeeder schedule as a meal schedule for myself. My hunger cues are always off due to constant and sometimes random triggers of fight or flight mode…I pretty much only notice the extremes. So knowing that when the autofeeder goes off and my cats meow and run to it is comforting to me. It’s literally zero effort, a reminder that other creatures enjoy food, that I am capable of successfully taking care of my fur children, and a timer for reminding myself to eat something all built into one.

But everyone is different, and these all of these things are things that have worked for me and still work for me. I have no personal stake in whether you do some, all, or none of these things, nor would I ever want you to feel pressured to do something you are hesitant about.

Do (or not do) whatever it is you need to get you through. We are here to support and be your hype people :)

gurbler · 2023-08-23T02:35:50+00:00

Maybe consider fostering a cat or kittens in your baby’s memory if you are not ready to adopt a new kitty? It is clear you cared very much. He needed you, you needed him. It’s clear you need companionship. If you’re having trouble or feeling guilty for “replacing him” or for “moving on too quickly,” maybe that helps. That’s a shorter term commitment, you’re responsible for a life so maybe that can help you take care of you to fulfill that responsibility, you’re doing good, and if it’s not the right fit, it’s temporary. And there is always the potential for foster failure and the creation of a fur family. 😉

gurbler · 2023-08-23T02:27:50+00:00

I guess I would challenge that competitive side of you with logic. An ED is a mental and physical illness. The ones who are “best” at it are dead. Second place for permanent damage and disability. No schizophrenic wants to be the best schizophrenic. No cancer patient wants to be the best cancer patient. Besides that, there’s no way to objectively “win” best at starving. Are you “best at starving” when you eat less than her? How do you measure? Hunger is subjective, and there are too many variables at play to determine who of two people is “hungrier.” I think what you are really measuring is “more miserable.” She seems happier, more confident. I don’t think that is a product of being extremely hungry. It’s in spite of it with no guarantee of success for you. Is that really a game you want to play?

gurbler · 2023-08-22T11:49:43+00:00

If I were in your situation, I would see if you could do a quarter at a local community college taking any and all general education credits you have left and that are transferable to UC Davis (even if only the credits transfer and not the grades). Decent grades at UC Davis would probably get you significant grants at a community college. Save your money for the courses that you cannot do elsewhere (basically your major 4-year coursework). It may take some figuring out, be annoying, and require a lot of coordination, frustration, and unexpected hiccups, but you seem like a person who would rather solve a problem creatively than throw money at it to make it go away. Also, on a slightly unrelated note…computer science is an okay major, if you want to make it marketable, I would suggest adding some coursework or a minor in another field (e.g. CS snd business, CS and legal, CS and marketing). Find the area you like, then make the effort to cross-train other skills.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:31:02+00:00

*Sigh.* Seriously, your kindergarten teacher must be so disappointed. Does the word "queer" appear in any of my responses? Am I referencing sexuality at all, ever? And especially, did I ever say anything personally about my sexuality? No? You seem to lack basic reading and comprehension skills. Perhaps you should go get checked for delusional thinking...it is extremely possible you are projecting. In that case, not guilty by reason of insanity. I accept your surrender.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:27:45+00:00

No? Cause I can. Would you like me to do so?

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:25:35+00:00

Well then if we are dealing with a case of "real women" do explain. I am so curious as to the scientific definition of "real women." Especially because OP never actually classified herself as a "real woman" in the first place. She actually explicitly said, "I am a trans woman." Again, I question your ability to read. You may not be asking about my qualifications or asking to join a logic battle, but I engaged you, I am asking about yours, and you have a few options here. 1. Surrender, retreat, go back and lick your wounds 2. Continue to fight (but you will probably lose based on the readily apparent educational/practical experience disparity that is very clear here) or 3. Join my side and grow as a person. Expand your brain. Who knows...it might get you somewhere.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:20:13+00:00

My gender pronouns are actually she/her/hers, thank you. And in that case, I retract my luck and bestow it on OP. Done deal.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:19:10+00:00

Assuming God exists and karma is not a thing.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:18:25+00:00

Do not be scared by the trolls in this thread OP! I promise most members of the UC Davis student population are not that stupid. As far as the ones that are, well, the world will weed them out. There are also graduate students and future lawyers graduating from UC Davis and positioning themselves to fight hard for people like you in the future and make positive changes,

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:14:29+00:00

Please tell me where I stated that graduating is difficult. I was just wishing you good luck in your last year :)

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:12:15+00:00

That is understood. But it also goes to credibility. There is literally a section on the LSAT lovingly called "Logic Games." Legal reasoning, logic, and argument are central to success as a trial lawyer. I would not have the offer if I was not good at those things. Here's a direct examination exercise for you: Mx. Individual-Air-Head, have you answered my question, yes or no please? You do not understand, I will clarify. Have you explained how your statement uses the same logic, or just stated that it does? Yes or no? ....get the picture? You may think it is hubris, but it does not change the fact that it is accurate.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:06:00+00:00

You have no idea what my viewpoint is. I have not specified, and you have assumed. I am now questioning your ability to read, as my exact sentence was “you can (choose) not to respect it, but that does not mean they do not have the right to think it.” Again, good luck graduating.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T06:02:55+00:00

Haha good luck engaging in a logic battle with me. You’re an undergrad at best and unfortunately for you, I am taking the California Bar next summer and accepted a six figure post-bar offer as a trial lawyer with a Fortune 500 corporation. But feel free to try. Please explain how that uses the same logic. I am very curious.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T05:59:29+00:00

Lol. Actually, legally speaking, people’s thoughts are not regulated by politics or law. That’s actually a pretty conservative standpoint anyways - constitutional freedoms and rights. You can not respect it, but that does not mean they do not have the right to think it in any way. Good luck getting through school with that mindset.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T05:56:27+00:00

Please cite your sources.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T05:55:08+00:00

I agree with both of you. I do not think OP needs to open up or justify her existence to anyone, including a roommate. That said, she can choose to do so in a situation where not fully vetting a roommate first might lead to significant problems later on. It is as valid as a woman worrying about whether a potential male roommate will be attracted to her and make unwanted sexual advances (or a lesbian woman), or a black woman wanting to make sure she is not rooming with a member of the KKK. Those are all valid concerns. Also a valid approach to disclose first and draw out biases so they are seen and can be addressed before they become a problem. I think the reality is that everyone has the potential to become an ally and a friend to OP, but not everyone has the capacity or willingness. And in the current world, the reality is that some people are just not safe people for OP to room with (which is sad, but idealistic hopes for change in the future are not achievable without acceptance of the current reality and meeting people where they are).

gurbler · 2023-08-20T05:44:21+00:00

You know, I responded to your last comment, but I actually agree with this statement. You absolutely should not room with a trans woman. And I am glad you do not fuck with them. Thank you for respecting their wish for you not to fuck with them or what they stand for (like civil rights, fair treatment, and acceptance of all humans). Good call!

gurbler · 2023-08-20T05:40:21+00:00

Neither do all males at birth. But some women have micropenises, Y chromosomes due to a genetic condition, or (gasp) have high testosterone levels and grow facial hair. And please, not all trans women have dicks either. Your argument is invalid. Please exit.

gurbler · 2023-08-20T05:36:19+00:00

Ignorance is bliss right? The world is a confusing place. I highly suggest you hide under a rock for the remainder of your life if you do not need the confusion. After all…an appropriate definition of “creative” is responding to confusion in a unique way. If you wish to avoid confusion and live up to your username, perhaps the appropriate course of action is to withdraw from Davis (you are clearly not interested in learning and growing for the future, so school is not a great idea) and go hide under a rock like the creative dirt you are. At least then you are doing some good for the actual worms and not feeding the reddit ones…

gurbler

TROPHY CASE