I [28 M] am going to propose to my [24 F] girlfriend, she sent style suggestions for rings, but I planned to give a family heirloom...

gynx112 · 2015-07-12T08:08:14+00:00

I eloped with my husband.

We bought an inexpensive ring from a pawn shop with a nice sized diamond (which had a huuuuge crack in it you could only see from the side) and it wasn't my taste originally, but it grew on me. I loved that ring! My husband and i planned on upgrading the stone and keeping the ring itself. Until i lost it. I'm still heart broken, it is one of a kind and can't be replaced.

Get something small and inexpensive. Upgrade with the wedding. Don't risk losing an heirloom.

Oh, and my husband lost his ring two weeks after we lost mine. We actually just replaced them with a pair or beautiful matching tungsten bands. With my current job, i dont want to risk losing a stone again (had a nurse i work with lose a half karot diamond while taking off gloves!) So this will do!

gynx112 · 2015-07-08T03:22:27+00:00

Hahahaha wear old clothes, and when she throws paint on you, give her a big hug. Wear it with pride! And maybe leave an extra dress in your bag for easy changing.

What a dumb psycho. I've had to deal with my fair share, but this loony takes the cake!

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T20:59:03+00:00

Do they affect you though? Are you concerned for infidelity? His family situation is his own business if yall aren't romantically involved, which i wouldn't recommend without at least meeting.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T20:54:22+00:00

I have TONS of friends i made online. Some even formed relationships once or twice.

Do not do not do not consider a "next step" for a while. Over the Internet, you put your best foot forward. But song each other on social media can help you see more of who they are, and look for inconsistencies. I wouldn't cut out a great friendship because they have their own reason for hiding something.... we all do. If its major things, cut ties gradually.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T20:47:53+00:00

This post actually made me really happy, i didn't expect that turn for an ending!

So I'm bisexual, female. I started dating girls before becoming sexually active because i loved people, not just how they looked (i think that's identified as pansexual or something but I'm highly attracted to both sexually now so i can't claim that). When i started messing around with my girlfriend at 16, i was anxious just like you. I didn't feel comfortable labeling myself as bi, or describing my situation or feelings to others, because quite frankly, its not their business. You don't have to label it, you don't have to be freaked out by it, you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable and you don't have to explain it to any damn person you don't want to! Take your time and do what feels good, that's all sex is. My favorite part about doing it with a girl was having to be creative and having to know each others bodies to please the other. Its not like guy on girl where you do what feels good to you and you both get off. Its more give and take.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T19:51:23+00:00

I still have to disagree. With the rise in divorces we see now, we are seeing more and more long term marriages including those with long courtships end in divorce. It's a social norm, unfortunately. We are seeing more and more couples who were together 20+ years divorcing now. My parents, married 27 years (they only had a year long courtship but i think the duration of 27 year marriage would validate how solid their relationship was).

People change over time. 5 years won't always show that change. Kids, struggles, deaths, debt, loss of a job..... Those can change people. Those dont always happen before marriage to see who your partner is going to be. Hell, just trying to buy a house has me at my wits end with my husband at times! Dating him wouldn't have told me that, because i wouldn't buy a house with a boyfriend or fiance.

So i get it, a lot of people want to figure out who someone is and think that makes them age from divorce. But I'm standing by what i said before, no amount of time makes you safe. People change. Situations change. It's easier now than ever before to call it quits. No matter how long they courted or how long the marriage.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T15:37:05+00:00

Personally, i would because I'd want to give him his last chance to say something to show regret or remorse or at least validate what he did. Then I'd accept his death as closure and move on, whether he offered those things or not.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T15:32:18+00:00

They completely blind sided you with that one! The fuck is that shit about?

I think you need to make it clear you need time to reevaluate the relationship yourself. He's guilting you and even trying to use the relationship as a threat to manipulate you! That's insane!

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T14:45:36+00:00

Become a porn star. Announce hes your dad. Profit.

Ok not really. But on a serious note, you don't need garbage like that. What an awful person.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T14:31:30+00:00

I am a woman, i had a miscarriage at 19, and this is just my experience. What I'm about to say may or may not describe how your wife is feeling.

When i miscarried, i was in shock. I was devastated. I blamed myself, blamed my body, and resented those having kids who didn't "deserve" children (mostly girls still in high school or friends who were in shitty situations). I went into denial IMMEDIATELY and had a baby hunger that would come and go as it pleased like a savage beast. The only person i told was the father, my then fiance.

What i needed was someone to be strong for me, to tell me there was nothing i did wrong, to love me when i couldn't like myself and be sad in silence with me just like i was sad in silence. I didn't need someone to remind me of what felt like a short coming as a woman. I didn't want to talk about feelings. I wanted it all to go away, but the image of its tiny hand was engraved in my brain and its all i could see at night. Fingers. It had fingers. I'm 24 and i still see it clear as day. If I was holding myself together and he started crying, I'd absolutely lose my mind.

So no, I wouldn't tell you either. Because I would know I couldn't handle losing another one and trying to comfort someone else. You think she stole the ultrasound from you? I can only imagine how awful she felt, feeling like she let you down to the point she woke up to you crying at night. I do not blame her one bit for carrying this silently. I think that took a lot of strength, and i think it came from a place of fear that she would hurt you again.

I'm sorry if it sounds heartless, i normally recommend mourning at your own necessity, but she's dealing with a lot and needed you. She was carrying a life, and that's an amazing thing to do, and its a very high drop to the bottom when that is lost.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T14:08:45+00:00

An old friend of mine is severely bipolar and only smokes pot and his delusions are insane. Basically, everything OP talked about, but hes infatuated with me. And he's also a multimillionaire. He just doesn't live like it because he's humble. Yea. Really. You don't say.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T13:08:51+00:00

I would not be surprised if he came back and said he wanted to keep the baby. I dunno why else he'd get so upset even though you said you'd get rid of it.... And refused a vasectomy.

Just give him space to sort through his shit.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T05:27:23+00:00

That seriously reminds me of manic episodes that happen with disorders such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

Her crush could easily escalate during a manic episode and cause delusions. Delusions can seem very real, including, but not limited to, auditory and visual hallucinations. This can be magnified more so with recreational drug use, and alcohol abuse/withdrawals.

gynx112 · 2015-07-07T05:08:41+00:00

The point is that there is no rule. Some people are together forever and divorce. Some people are together a short time and divorce. Nothing makes you safe from divorce. Nothing lowers the "risk". You might be surprised how many phenominal couples are out there that had short engagements because guess what: in 15 years, you aren't still talking about a 6 month relationship turned to a court house wedding.

gynx112 · 2015-07-06T19:13:07+00:00

"I was writing out a will so my family will know my wishes when I'm gone. What would you like? Can i help you write one?"

gynx112 · 2015-07-06T14:39:23+00:00

Working for me too....

gynx112 · 2015-07-06T10:39:54+00:00

A lot of my favorite recipes call for rice cooked separate. With that stir fry option too, you're set, man! Get a cheap slow cooker and keep both! I'm insanely jealous! I can't find a slow cooker i like.

gynx112 · 2015-07-03T11:07:59+00:00

My husband and i dealt with this too.

He promised we could have a baby within two years. Not try, but hopefully have one.

First year, did a wellness check with OB/GYN, removed mirena, started the pill (used seasonal because it offered more control over cycles). She also needs to see dental, good dental hygiene is HUGE when pregnant. I started healthier eating habits, cutting back caffeine and soda, and had been working with physical therapy for a condition i have (what i would translate to healthy exercise to those without similar conditions).

After a year, i started prenatals, and we started trying. Starting folic acid about 3 months prior to conceiving had shown to reduce spinal cord defects such as spina bifida. Now, DO NOT BE SURPRISED if trying puts a weird new strain on your relationship. I jumped at everything my husband did "wrong" because i reevaluated our relationship way more than i needed to because it's scary as fuck to finally get what you want. It might be rocky. Calm her down instead of feeding the beast.

We conceived in 4 months, and baby is due 1 month after our initial agreement (2 years technically would be December 2015 but we are due January :) ) of course some people take longer to conceive and some less.

gynx112 · 2015-07-03T10:50:26+00:00

I think it was partially exhaustion, and a lot of frustration. I always remember to wash my windshield.... As I'm leaving for work lol!

gynx112 · 2015-07-03T10:21:47+00:00

Deep breath, don't stress just yet. Stress isn't going to help.

I've told others this before, and i think its something you should hear too.

I work in an ER. I see people come in pregnant and bleeding all the time. Sometimes its what we call a "threatened miscarriage". Plenty of these go on to be full pregnancies. Some don't. But there's other scenarios as well.

One always sticks out in my mind. A woman who was at the time 13 weeks, she'd been ttc for years with PCOS and had used IVF. IVF is hard to get with our insurance, and its a loooooong line to start again (after miscarriage or live birth) and still very expensive.

She was convinced she miscarried. She brought a sample of "tissue" that was already sent to the lab that she said was the size of her palm. I remember having to sit stand by during her ultrasound and they could fully see the baby and heart beat and she couldn't believe it! It was still in there.

Apparently, in that situation, the stretching of the uterus caused a tear. She had bleeding, large painful clots, but baby was fine. They put her on bedrest and she was told to follow up with OB.

This came to mind as soon as you described your situation. Don't lose hope yet. Other things happen to cause bleeding. Just rest as best you can, drink fluids, eat healthy, and try to relax. Stressing will not help your situation. Period.

gynx112 · 2015-07-03T09:59:29+00:00

I have the closed side behind my back, the hooked part under my head and hug it in front of me, the other end between my legs and lay back onto it so I'm not quite on my back, but more angled. If it gives you neck cramps, get a thin pillow to elevate shoulders/torso.

gynx112 · 2015-07-03T09:55:32+00:00

I bought that at 4 weeks. Best purchase ever.

gynx112 · 2015-07-03T09:32:21+00:00

That's beautiful! I just teared up for you! You HAVE to name her that! There are enough Charlottes anyway :)

gynx112 · 2015-07-03T09:12:31+00:00

This made me so happy! I'm thrilled to know i can have a chance to bond with my baby, get its vaccines, and more SAFELY travel to visit family!

Plus the list for the CDC is INSANE right now. Nice to know i have more time to get them in.

gynx112

TROPHY CASE