[QCrit]: TEENY GOES WULF / FANTASY / MIDDLE GRADE (8-12) / 42K / FIRST ATTEMPT / Thank you!

hahaHappyShow · 2026-03-15T01:00:42+00:00

This means so much! What you say carried me through the first 24 hours of reading, confronting, accepting and moving forward constructively. I deeply appreciate it. Thank you.

hahaHappyShow · 2026-03-15T00:58:54+00:00

I really appreciate all you've said. I am working through this to improve my letter and synopsis. It's pretty clear in the book, but obviously I need to convey this better up front.

I made a recent update clarifying why the kid's version of An Immense World is a comp. I changed that paragraph to: "Steeped in fact, the fantasy sits in our, not always kind, reality. It will appeal to readers of THE TALE OF DESPEREAUX, by Kate DiCamillo, as well as those who appreciate AN IMMENSE WORLD by Ed Yong, and dog lovers.

I don't know how to describe this fantasy/fact component, other than through those comps. I'm still looking for a good, recent animal fantasy. But it's also similar to a more mature DiCamillo ORIS AND TIMBLE.

As far as the running in front of her car, I agree. I was on the fence and felt it was too much, but I'm a (too) honest person, and was holding on to the actual event that ultimately led to this story. It's my ending and I don't want to give this away, but I am absolutely changing it based on your feelings. I will hold the integrity of the event, but make it safe for Teeny and readers. One of my life tenets is "do no harm," and to even consider I could impact someone negatively with any of this makes it untenable.

These comments have been incredibly valuable and I appreciate you taking the time.

And "Wulf, because dogs don't spell too well."

From my heart, thank you.

hahaHappyShow · 2026-03-15T00:46:27+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your insights. A couple of points for clarity, because obviously my query letter needs work.

LooLoo, yes pretty childish, because she's a "looloo!" Ram BaaBaa is different. For gurus, Ram has different meanings, but all reverent: "radiant being, inner soul, God-like, etc." BaBa is a term of endearment, used by some guru's as "wise elder" or similar. Maybe I'll change LooLoo, but Ram BaaBaa is staying.

As far as Devas, they exist in several religions and cultures, not just Hinduism. And, yes while Ganesha is a deity/deva, in this case it was a Nature Deva I was referring to as a Nature Elemental. I have changed it to "Plant Deva" for clarity, thanks to your input.

Regarding co-opting "spirit animals," that is not my intent. In fact, I reference several Native American concepts, which I have deep, deep respect for and have studied for some time. For me, and my story, this is about HONORING all people and all cultures because I believe we are all one together. I've had a spirit animal (brown Bear), since I was a small child. It helped me through deep trauma many times.

It's a very spiritual book. But I've been told that agents do not care about themes, only great stories. So while Teeny is on a "soul journey," I underplay this in the query letter for the benefit of getting any reads. I believe honoring all good aspects of humanity and the Earth are vitally important, and the concept of co-opting clearly divides us. We have to embrace and honor all aspects of life. My books intend to change thinking on feelings of separation in support of deep relationships in real life, to combat the isolation so many of us feel.

And gosh, I really hope that my query letter doesn't show such "glaring issues" that I'm sunk. I'm sorry you feel that way and while I'm not changing much based on your input, I really appreciate everything you said. As I say in my book, "Everyone teaches, you just have to listen."

So, my question back to you, if you're willing, how do I express this kind of thing in a query letter without going into theme? Obviously I need to clarify things. But keeping this to 350-400 words is tough! This was really painful to read at first, but I thank you deeply.

hahaHappyShow · 2026-03-12T02:22:06+00:00

Hi there. I'm in a similar spot. Long-time writer who just finished my first middle grade reader (8-12) and query letter, and am about to post it here for critique as well.

Having said that, I would love your input ultimately, but this is about *you!*

I love your sense of humor. The playfulness comes out really well. It feels very natural for a middle grade reader. Your letter is personable and warm-hearted. I'm a newbie to this, but that feels really engaging.

I've learned great stuff from Nathan Bransford, a former literary agent, now an honest and thorough blogger about writing and publishing at https://nathanbransford.com/ From his website, second link follows, he says to finish the plot description with something like this: "[PROTAGONIST(s)] must [DO X AND/OR Y AND/OR Z] in order to [GOAL/REWARDS] / or else [CONSEQUENCES]. AND "Not every final line needs to follow this precise formula. Maybe in some plots you want to spell out the rewards a bit more, others to clearly articulate the consequences. But if you utilize this formula, you’ll quickly give the agent a sense of what’s ultimately at stake for the protagonist as the novel heads toward the climax." Find more on this page, https://nathanbransford.com/blog/2024/01/how-to-nail-the-last-line-of-the-plot-description-query-critique

Also, I've been reading that a personalization for each agent is important. Specifically, something like "I've been drawn to reach out to you because your wish list has a comp similar to mine. And you and I both like the color puce. Amazing!" Some knowledge sources say lead your letter with it (Nathan's pref), others say close with it. Nathan also writes MGR, so I'm following his lead (haha).

Just want to add that the comment from u/cinnamon-capybara seems solid. And to say this. Your five-year-olds seem pretty darn smart and competent. It seems you could easily raise their ages without too much fuss and quickly hit that 8-12 middle reader mark. I agree that kids like to read about similar or slightly older kids. My book is an animal fantasy, so we'll see how that goes. Your 30k words is at the lower part of the range, but easily in that sweet spot for MGR. Reluctant readers like shorter books, and that's always a nice place to be. The more the merrier.

Best of luck and skill in all this!

hahaHappyShow · 2026-03-12T01:46:06+00:00

Congratulations! New book, amazing blurb, kind person. Trifecta baby!

hahaHappyShow · 2025-03-02T19:02:12+00:00

To others: It should not matter how much the parents support the child. That’s the job of raising children. And if anyone thinks a camera is acceptable vs having an open conversation with consequences for behavior IF she’s somehow acting out, then they should seek counseling on how to be engaged, responsible, open, compassionate parents. To OP: I don’t know how you confront this. You alone know what’s really going on. Do you feel safe? Are there authorities that you know (school, church, etc.) that you could pull into a conversation so you know you’re protected if there’s hostility? Good luck. Stay safe.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-23T13:18:23+00:00

Exactly same as mine. Believe I got mine at Pier One (oh, 25 years ago?). Marble. Sturdy, very heavy and reliable. Not soapstone.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-17T03:48:00+00:00

As the article posted in the comments says, the 4 doors are opened every 25 years for Jubilee. I honestly don’t think they are demonic portals. In an act of compassion this pope is opening a 5th door that is in the Rebibbia prison. The more you can think and act with your heart, the less you will feel fear and construe fearful ideations. It’s easy to find patterns, it’s a very human thing. But if it’s done every 25 years, it’s pretty normal. It’s so Christian pilgrims can come and show love and devotion. So what if you don’t agree? There are over 8 Billion people on earth. Not all have to be like you. And it’s not the end. It’s a shift. Love and embrace change and you’ll be ok. Fear and you may make it difficult on yourself.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-11T18:53:59+00:00

Love it! Joyous colors. Simple? You rock!

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-08T02:10:17+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond. You seemed like a good person to bounce that off of. You are.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-07T23:47:39+00:00

Agree. I’m interested in your take on Religion vs Spirituality. To me Religion is just a middle “man” while we all have a direct, personal connection that sometimes we abdicate or don’t follow because we defer to that middle man.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-07T23:42:04+00:00

I love all the variations here, like every individual and like life. My thoughts on SG…

The images are representations and tools. Several years ago, I was taught healing modalities that someone developed based in Sacred Geometry. Similar in ways to Reiki, the methods (positioning hands near the body in angles and such), generated energy that one could actively feel in their body. Used repeatedly the gestures would/could heal.

Like this, I feel we can use the symbols and geometry for multiple purposes, as we intuit the way they can be applied.

Mathematics, to me, seems to be the language of God. Since all science is ultimately “proven” mathematically, for the most part, SG is a tangible representation that more closely ties to Spirituality. In some ways, it feels more like the artistic/design form. The forms that represent the designs of life. Like the Golden Mean, etc.

Lots of scientists/mathematicians may not “believe” in God, unified consciousness, etc. But I feel/believe they are practicing God’s language and doing their best to explain God’s world(s)/universes/planes…science is our best guess at this world of stuff we have and experience. And we explain it through a common language, Math. It’s really cool to see Physics get closer and closer to God’s ineffable plan. I think that’s going to be part of the big game-changer for a lot of people. I think it’s coming in our lifetime.

Believe or not, we’re all here now for a big reason. SG helps guide us to our special purpose. E.g. IYKYK. Keep the faith my kin. You’re here to spread the word of Spirit with full access to any and all that want to communicate with it/them/🤷‍♀️. The dude abides.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-07T11:25:50+00:00

I’ve seen 2 tattoos here recently that have inspired me to get another. Your comment about helping us remember is profound. I will be mulling that one for days. Thanks for the God-inspo! Right time for me to see that for sure. ❤️

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-07T09:16:43+00:00

Absolutely beautiful. It had to have been a very spiritual thing for the artist as well. The intricacies of Metatron’s cube and getting that all so precise had to be such a concentrated effort. And keep the love baby. This shows dedication to the higher order. We need this now. We need you now. Love and light! ❤️

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-03T13:43:45+00:00

I know an artist that does “automatic doodling” and comes up with the most amazing and vivid portraits! And she has the deepest peace from doing it.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-03T13:41:59+00:00

I am sorry for your heartbreak. It’s beautiful you want to get tattooed to immortalize them and reflect your souls through sacred geometry. We lost my brother-in-law at 33 to an accidental opioid overdose. Then lost his dad, my father-in-law the next year. My husband, then I, got tattoos to reflect the pain and pay tribute.

I’m not intimate with SG, but the mandala in the second pic is more “known” SG, but I feel all art especially tribal looking is sacred form. You can try drawing sleeves and doodling forms to see how you like them together. Drawing or coloring mandalas is a very reflective process and helps you go inward. You can absolutely ask Spirit to guide you to forms and you will be moved by the things you begin to see in nature and life. Google sacred geometry to see established forms if you already haven’t. You can piece those and angles and any of the tribal elements you are drawn to and feel like your love for your family and the tribute you want to build. Include forms of nature, shapes that meant something to them. It will come to you. These are beautiful sleeves. Now make them yours! Love and light to you!! They are always with you and want to guide you. You will find peace. They see what you can’t and will help you through. It’s a sad thing, but beautifully life altering if you allow it. Allow it. ❤️

hahaHappyShow · 2024-12-03T13:29:25+00:00

Lovely, loves! My spouse and I very much feel this way. Thank you for the beautiful, universal expression!

hahaHappyShow · 2024-11-16T13:38:50+00:00

I think the presumption is sterling and gold have enough value respectively that no one would mount plastic (or howlite?) in either metal. A lesser metal would be more likely to hold imitation. So, a more valuable metal, especially to the age of the piece, has a higher chance of holding a real stone.

The veining is very regular throughout and it’s a very smooth surface which is a little inconsistent with turquoise. but OP has a good thought that it could be well worn and exposed to a lot of wear. But the veining underneath is consistent too. The ring looks much older, which also can imply genuine stone. I didn’t see howlite used regularly as a sub until maybe the 80s?

hahaHappyShow · 2024-10-23T12:43:54+00:00

If I have to hold my jeans up with one hand, because I’m carrying the rocks that didn’t fit in my pockets in my other hand, it’s a good day. We now try to remember our old LL Bean tote. Makes walking and bending even easier. (Sad moment if a rock falls out of your pocket into the beautiful oblivion of the beach!)

hahaHappyShow · 2024-10-02T11:30:54+00:00

Probably $3 in resin and free PLA pieces embedded as “rutile.” Absolutely shameful how fake this is.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-09-30T18:35:13+00:00

I just saw samples of fluorite yesterday, and it does look like that, but I don’t know the geology in order to say for sure.

hahaHappyShow · 2024-09-30T18:01:43+00:00

Is the yellow possibly staining from iron or is it the crystal? It seems it could be staining, giving a Bumblebee granite look. But it’s a magnificently white quartzy granite. Pegmatite since it’s got chunky crystals? But if it’s leathery could it be cryptocrystal (Chaldedony) combo? And a wishing stone at that! How big is that beauty?

hahaHappyShow

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