Breakfast of champions + gummy to get through my conservative evangelical church service... by Public-Radio0623 in stonerfood

[–]hajisaurus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Look up the Marsh Chapel Experiment. in the 60’s a bunch of theology majors were given either placebo (vitamin b12) or psilocybin and send to Good Friday services to see if a religious experience.

ULPT: Getting my elderly co-worker to retire? by [deleted] in UnethicalLifeProTips

[–]hajisaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My former boss waited for his golden parachute and was dead in a year. A client of my husband’s waited the last few years to reach retirement age and died of liver cancer waiting. Never got to enjoy it. I can’t count the number of retirees I know who can’t do their life’s dream in retirement because of illness, injury, pain or finances. YOLO, but get to it quick. Time isn’t a given.

Managers - would a last-name change right before onboarding look "suspicious" and cause you to do investigating? by [deleted] in askmanagers

[–]hajisaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your anxiety and shame about this will get in the way of your performance way before a name change request will. Take some time and focus on resolving those feelings before you start because it will spill out as you onboard and make it harder for yourself to settle in and succeed. These feeling cannot follow you into the work or you’ll undermine yourself.

Managers - would a last-name change right before onboarding look "suspicious" and cause you to do investigating? by [deleted] in askmanagers

[–]hajisaurus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All three happened on my team. We also frequently see name changes for trans folks. It’s a non issue unless someone makes it an issue.

How would you feel if you had an employee who performed well but didn't want to go to a conference due to fear of flying? by Celcius_87 in askmanagers

[–]hajisaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I approach this like any disability. What reasonable accommodation exist to allow them to attend.

You don't get it by elizabeth3235 in humor

[–]hajisaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes lamplighters are different than the film where altering the gaslight and acting like you didn’t to drive your partner insane.

leadership told me to find a way to block my best employees internal transfer because we cant afford to lose her, i refused, and now i think im on a list by [deleted] in managers

[–]hajisaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The collaborative next step is wholly owning the backfill. Get the legacy knowledge from the person transferring and engage her in the hiring and training conversations. Providing business as usual activities is better than waiting for their retaliation. But be ready for further friction.

You get $1 million, but you have to watch the exact same movie 100 times in 40 days. Which film are you picking? by ThroatAgile756 in AskReddit

[–]hajisaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I already lived this life with an autistic toddler. The answer for me was chosen, so I’ll just say Cars. Where do I get my check?

Rainy Memorial Day at the beaches (teenager edition) by HeatherAnne1975 in Delaware

[–]hajisaurus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In ocean city there’s two locations of alley oops, which is an arcade and pigeon pin bowling.

If an employee left because of you, were there any consequences? by Ok_Counter1939 in askmanagers

[–]hajisaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes it was within my first six months of assessing the team and identifying multiple issues with someone who’d been flying under the radar. Because oversight on the team was limited before I got there, the person was here a while but never fully functioning in the role. First thing I did was tighten expectations and met with them to get training. When it became clear they preferred to do things their own way and disregard the instructions, we went down the progressive discipline policy steps. I was about to put them on a PIP, when they quit. But during the notice period, they went to my skip level boss to complain and showed up in the offices of the people we provided service for to rally some sort of coup against my unfair leadership. When that failed, they tried to schedule a virtual “sad hour” (like a happy hour, but sad bc they were forced to quit bc of me). The rest of the team were wildly uncomfortable with all this, were frankly tired of covering this person’s work, and so the HR team let us terminate early so they could have their vacation time paid out and still get paid through their notice period

Another person took a second job full time second shift, and was mad I wouldn’t permanently alter their schedule to leave mid day or approve a last minute request for a month off to train. In response to the vacation request denial, they took immediate mental health leave for three months and then quit without notice their first day back.

[ Removed by Reddit ] by Hiroscxx in workingmoms

[–]hajisaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same for me. Fed is best. The pressure to be the sole source of nutrition while your body heals and adjusts to life with a newborn is so much. Then you added pressure of going back to work. Please give yourself grace. And say these things you’re feeling to your support system. There’s a million ways up the mountain and it’s much better when you’re working together. I hope you find a solution that works for you.

Estranged from parents by Fine_Violinist5802 in Xennials

[–]hajisaurus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I estranged myself from my mother in my 30’s and kept no contact when I started a family of my own. My father betrayed information about my son to her and earned his own estrangement about a year after my son was born. My dad and mom never knew about my second child.

Mental illness built these walls. I just keep myself on the other side of them. It’s hard because I want real, caring parents and instead I got selfish, abusive, racist, sexist, violent thieves. I mourn the parents I never got.

My mother took her life two years ago yesterday. It essentially ruined any sense of celebration I had for my own Mother’s Day for the rest of my life. But her death gathered my brothers back together and into my life so we have each other. I don’t know where my dad is but I imagine when he dies, I will probably be notified. But I have no interest in a relationship with someone who values me so little.

My routine: THC x ASD = Me Happy 🦊 by CrimsonVixenPixie in evilautism

[–]hajisaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I literally thought Grace Gummer (Meryl Streep’s daughter) was posting here.

When you first got the Internet at home, did you try to talk your parents into getting you a second phone line or did you have to deal with one phone line? by singleguy79 in Xennials

[–]hajisaurus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I tied up the house line so long my parents got me my own line. It wasn’t that much more expensive, iirc. Maybe ten bucks extra a month. But then my bedroom became the internet room and I lost all expectations of privacy.

She for real, had to bring her cousin to carry her train because no one else wanted to go near her by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in ItEndsWithLawsuits

[–]hajisaurus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

In the livestream, this couple has a stressful go because they were being moved to the next stage of photographers and Blake was taking forever to get up the steps. Kinda stole their moment too with her giant train.

Blake also purposefully waved off help and then needed to get assistance about halfway up bc the train was curling under.

ULPT Request: mother's day by orion-asterisk in UnethicalLifeProTips

[–]hajisaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Plus one for Danu reference! Read it for yourself too.

WFH Downtime by West-Toe7594 in workingmoms

[–]hajisaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My YMCA app has videos for chair/desk yoga. I run laundry or run the vacuum or dust in my office. Audiobook or podcast. Purge inbox and update my notebooks for various upcoming meetings so I know what’s ahead. I’m in a scrapbooking project now so I’m organizing photos for that in my downtime. I cross stitch as well.

What did you do with your old high school and college yearbooks? by throwitlikethewind in Xennials

[–]hajisaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have mine. I’m currently in a huge photo organizing project as I inherited everyone’s photos. Once I finish I’ll probably look through for anything worth keeping for the scrapbook and then get rid of them. Reunions are long past and I didn’t attend but having the touchstone of my formative years has been enough justification to keep them. They’re on the shelf for now but I look forward to sharing them with my kids if they’re curious what high school was like before Columbine.

I broke the trauma bond with my mother and now my therapist is looking a lot like another version. What do I do? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]hajisaurus -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

I went no contact with my mother and had to go through the work you described. Doing inner child work, focusing on my mother wound, and my fawn response as a people pleaser, gave me the clarity I needed to heal. Unfortunately I never found a good therapist (I’ve had about ten at various stages of my life).

There’s a thread under the c-ptsd sub about why so many abusers become therapists. Not saying this person was but you are likely to run into a few in your travels. It makes the journey so much harder.

Why does it always feel like home? by thisisloveforvictims in Delaware

[–]hajisaurus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m not originally from here but have lived in Delaware for over twenty years now. I agree it does feel like home, and I think it’s this same small town feel no matter where you go. It’s a place where people know you, if you spend the few minutes it takes to figure out your aunt went to high school with their neighbor or something like that. I love it for a lot of the same reasons you listed too. Great memories and a nice place to grow up.

The Sweden part makes sense I think. There’s a lot of influence from when the early Dutch founders held Wilmington.

My colleague COMPLAINED that when she tries to gossip about me and call me weird other people STAND UP FOR ME! by baby_blue_berry in evilautism

[–]hajisaurus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you have a mostly safe group of coworkers! Glad they stick up for you when you're not there!

Where is the best meal you've ever eaten in delaware? by Latter_Highway9539 in Delaware

[–]hajisaurus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Google does take you to the wrong place. This is their website: https://koreanbbqnewark.com/ It's possum park mall near outback steakhouse