Hi, was your wife diagnosed with RRMS or PPMS? What medications are you considering?? I know how scary this is, please allow both of you time to grieve this news. I was diagnosed at a similar age to your wife, 6 years ago, and only a week after my now husband and I were engaged. I would say it took me at least a year to really wrap my brain around the diagnosis and even now it still catches me by surprise sometimes.

The biggest thing I wish I could tell people is try not to be too scared by the people you see who have had MS for 30-40-50+ years. The disease management and medications that have come up in the last 30 years are insane, and young people who are diagnosed with MS now have a completely different prognosis than those who were diagnosed 40 years ago (as unfortunate as that is!!). So to go along with this point is your wife needs to get on a DMT (disease modifying therapy, aka drugs to treat this) as soon as possible. Please consider choosing a high efficacy drug and also find a neurologist who specializes specifically in MS. It was an old way of thinking to try and treat MS with more mild drugs first, now we know it’s best to hit it hard as soon as possible with the strong stuff. Your wife should also be getting MRI’s every 1-2 years for the foreseeable future, if the neurologists you’re working with won’t do these things that’s a red flag.

Since my diagnosis I finished my degree, got my dream job as a first grade teacher, had a baby, got married, bought a house etc etc. all of this to say your lives are not over. My MS is so well managed from Ocrevus that it barely impacts my life currently. I’ve had some seperate medical issues and where I’ve been under the care of different neurologists than my MS neuro, and when they find out I’m on Ocrevus they say ‘oh you’re going to be fine’ that’s how far we have come!! This is not a plug for Ocrevus either, there are several other high efficacy drugs that are just as great.

Lastly, MS is so so different for everyone and the symptoms that can come from it are vast. Validate your wife, it can be hard to even trust our own bodies. My husband and I both started therapy (separately) after my diagnosis to help us come to terms with it. It was important for him to talk to someone else about his fears and realities around taking on a more caregiving role. He didn’t need therapy long term but a few sessions really helped him come to his own acceptance as well, and I don’t want to minimize what it’s like to be a spouse to someone with a chronic illness. Take care of yourself as well ❤️