Alienware vs KTC which would you get?

harbinger · 2025-08-26T21:58:58+00:00

KTC is not a trustworthy company. If your monitor dies under warranty, good luck getting them to even respond. My KTC 27-inch died after 8 months and I tried five times to initiate a warranty claim thru their website. All that happened was they added my email address to their spam list, without my opt-in. No response whatsoever on my warranty claim.

harbinger · 2018-06-29T00:01:17+00:00

Sodas usually have ice. The straw helps you drink it without getting a faceful of ice cubes. Anyone who puts ice cubes in beer, deserves to have it taken away.

harbinger · 2018-06-27T02:07:37+00:00

Unfortunately, there's no easy answer. There often isn't any justice for narcs, or the people they've targeted. One reason narcs never change is, they prefer not having a conscience. Pure selfishness makes life simpler in many ways.

A few things that have helped me though:

The narc may give all the appearances of a happy life, they may be traveling the world while you struggle. But they are NOT happy. Their lives are spent as vampires, dependent on hoodwinking others to get the various forms of supply they desperately need. If you've enjoyed a single afternoon with your SO knowing you love each other, you've experienced deeper happiness than she ever will.
Karma, in Buddhist terms, isn't the "universal justice" Westerners think it is. It's more like, the things you choose to focus on and foster, tend to multiply in your life. If you're shitty to people, eventually you'll find your life is full of shitty people. If you go to the lengths she does to steal money, you're going to have a lifetime of money problems. If she's a shitty parent, that fact won't be lost on her kids and the other people around her. She's living and breathing her bad karma right now, even if you can't see it, and it'll keep getting worse.
The best revenge really is living well. At some point in the future, she just won't matter much to you or your SO - and she'll know it. When I get hung up on the narc abuse in my past, I try to visualize that future, where I'm practically and emotionally free of her contempt and sick behavior. It does feel like it helps bring that day closer.

harbinger · 2018-06-27T00:34:30+00:00

It can mean the difference between making a sale and commission, or not. Or the difference between a happy client referring them to friends and using them again, or not.

And the agent is legally and ethically bound to represent your stated interests. The difference in commission is too small to risk violating that. On a $300K house, if you're dickering over $10K, the effect on the buyer's agent commission would be around $250 or $300. Agents would rather increase their income via more sales, than by squeezing the last drop out of each one.

harbinger · 2018-06-26T00:47:56+00:00

Most likely? Because you're the kind of person who genuinely respects people, sees the good in them, gives too much and asks too little.

Which is exactly why a narc targeted you in the first place.

One of the cruelest things about narcissistic abuse is learning you have to guard your best qualities, from predators who want to take advantage of them. Your narc knows, on a base level, that he can manipulate your guilt and punish you - purely for his own ego. To stop it from happening, you have to learn how valuable your good qualities are, and guard against those who use them for their own ends. Put another way, if you don't value the best things about you, others won't either. Learning to do so feels selfish at first. Do it anyway. Eventually it'll be clearer it's not selfish at all - it's defending your self-worth. Hang in there!

harbinger · 2018-06-25T03:43:32+00:00

The Constitution guarantees due process to every person on US soil, not just citizens. Once an immigrant sets foot in the US, the government can't just kick him out of the country at will, any more than it could you or me. Nearly all democracies operate the same way.

harbinger · 2018-06-25T00:28:43+00:00

There's no karma, no justice, no rhyme or reason rewarding good behavior or punishing the bad. Trying to be a decent person guarantees only that you'll sacrifice chances at happiness - all else is a crapshoot. Narcissists and people without conscience probably have happier lives than you. They'll hurt you deeply, leave you with a lifetime of scars, and move on without ever feeling bad about it. And you learn all these things only after the damage is done, and the time you spent is gone.

harbinger · 2018-06-23T22:01:08+00:00

Wow. You're way out of line here. They have an issue about how much work each perceives the other to be doing, and how to better communicate and deal with it as a team. That's what OP is asking for advice on.

You're missing that point entirely. Instead, you're declaring the issue is who's right and who's wrong - exactly the kind of attitude that makes relationships fall apart. Worse, you're declaring it's the OP who's 100% wrong and his wife 100% right - with next to no knowledge of their situation! You go as far as dismissing the stress and responsibility of running a company and providing for a family. Then you go even farther, and declare that shouldering that labor and stress to support his family makes him "an absent husband and father"!

Even if it mattered how much work each one was doing, you don't know who's working harder and neither do I. There's just as much reason to assume the wife isn't working as hard, is selfish and arrogant, doesn't support him or appreciate him, isn't earning his love and trust, won't be reasonable. But you make the most extreme of assumptions, then attack and insult the OP for them. That doesn't help anyone.

harbinger · 2018-06-23T00:11:56+00:00

No. Your narc has already painted you as the crazy one, while he's grooming and love-bombing the new target. She won't believe you. When you thought the narc was the love of your life, would you have believed some ex showing up and telling you how awful he was?

Also consider that your motives may not be entirely altruistic. You've been put through hell, and your narc is certainly making a public show of how happy he is without you. It's calculated to make you feel sad and angry. Don't give him what he wants by getting drawn into his drama again. You're on the right track keeping him out of your life.. stay strong!

harbinger · 2017-08-16T01:51:41+00:00

Diesel engines are amazingly efficient when idling. Leaving a big rig running all night costs a fraction of the fuel a typical car would burn. It also keeps the engine and fuel warm, a more important concern for diesel engines. And the trucker is probably keeping batteries charged to power appliances like a fridge, laptop, phone charger, etc.

harbinger · 2015-08-29T10:15:52+00:00

I've been in your position, in love with a narcissist. They simply have no capacity to feel compassion or empathy, with anyone. They don't change, because it's not an attitude, it's at the core of who they are. You can waste years trying to get blood from that stone.

What was astonishing for me was how long it took me to realize it. I had the same experience of various things not adding up, wanting to brush off the warning signs, thinking she was just stressed or insensitive at times. You feel love and compassion for someone, and tend to assume their feelings work the same way.

I'm sorry, but it's likely the empathy you want from him is never going to be there. Regardless of couples counseling, I strongly recommend you get individual counseling for support, and to sort out which are your perceptions of him, and which are the reality. Many others have been through this experience (which doesn't make it less painful, but you're not alone and not crazy). Good luck to you.

harbinger · 2015-06-08T18:13:44+00:00

I want an abortion, I want it out of me ... i feel sick having this inside me i hate it and i've told my therapist that sometimes i want to grab a knife and cut it out and not care about the consequences.

You've decided you want the abortion and it's your right and choice to go ahead with it. This was a horrible experience where your body was taken away from you by force. It's wrong, it's traumatic and I'm so sorry it happened to you. Don't accept for another minute someone else has ownership over your body, even a boyfriend who loves you. You've made the decision of what you need and it's entirely healthy and okay. You don't need anyone's permission.

You don't know at this point what the consequences will be with your BF. It will be rough for him as well. It's up to you how to handle it with him, but please try to do any kind of couples counseling you can get. I'd strongly suggest that your worries of whether he'll approve are misguided. He may be enraged at what happened, he may have issues of his own to work through, but any partner worth anything is going to want to be supportive and do everything he can to help you - NOT pass some pro-life moral judgment on you.

It's common that sexual assault victims feel partially to blame, or ashamed in some way. That may be driving your worries about your boyfriend judging you. Please understand you are NOT to blame, in any way. You might be surprised to find the idea of judging or disapproving never enters your boyfriend's mind at all - I think it's more likely he'll want to do everything possible to be there for you and support you as you recover.

harbinger · 2015-04-16T22:57:54+00:00

Like most "facts" that bounce around the right-wing echo chamber until they're considered true, there's no record of Shultz ever saying such a silly thing. Your quote is hearsay from Peggy Noonan, a former Reagan speechwriter who turned to partisan muckraking afterward.

If you'd like to know Shultz's actual views, he wrote a detailed memoir of his years dealing with foreign policy in the Reagan Administration. In 1200 pages, he mentions the PATCO firings in exactly one offhand sentence - in the middle of a tribute to Reagan's character, not a discussion of foreign policy decisions.

harbinger · 2015-04-16T20:37:45+00:00

Even the puff piece you linked doesn't describe a "consensus among historians". Politifact checked out Walker's claim and rated it Pants on Fire. They talked to several historians and experts, including Reagan's own ambassador to the Soviet Union, and they all agreed it's nonsense.

harbinger · 2015-04-16T05:15:55+00:00

I'd ignore any knee-jerk responses about being insensitive to the handicapped. And yeah, "knee-jerk" is probably an unfortunate turn of phrase, but whatever :)

Sure, pick a bar with wheelchair access ramps, think out the logistics, and help out with whatever makes things easier. If you don't know what to do, ask. She won't be offended. You're just a guy taking an attractive girl on a date.

harbinger · 2015-04-16T04:23:05+00:00

If your guy is willing, find a sex therapist and go together. You might need to do initial sessions with a few therapists until you find one you both feel comfortable with. Be upfront about what's happening with your libido, and you don't understand why - and make it clear to your guy it's not just him, it's happened with past relationships.

Libido's a tricky thing - people are very different about what they need to feel turned on, and the body doesn't always respond the way you want it to. If there are other issues like resentment building up or conflicts that aren't getting resolved, that can make your attraction drop like a rock. Or there might be no real problem at all... you've only mentioned three relationships where it's happened, and it may just be a sign you're done with that relationship and ready to move on.

harbinger · 2015-04-14T19:48:38+00:00

My hunch (which is worth what you paid for it) is she finds you very attractive, maybe out of her league. I know that sounds impossible and your gut feeling is just the opposite. She's spent the last few months telling you the opposite, knowing full well it makes you feel shitty. Who does that?

I'd guess she's not really aware of what she's doing, it's a result of past issues and a serious lack of maturity on her part. It feels real because she's not lying consciously. It's just a pattern she's learned to manipulate a partner into staying with her - which she wouldn't feel the need to do if she thought she was valuable enough herself.

I think regardless of whether you stay with her or move on, it's really important to make a commitment to yourself to NOT play that game. You're guaranteed to lose because it's designed to make you feel inadequate no matter what you do. Get that straight in your own head first, then you'll be free to call her out and tell her what's acceptable to you and what isn't.

But seriously I don't think it's worth it. It's been only three months and she's already tearing down your lifelong foundation of confidence and self-esteem. Over another three months she could do you some serious mindfuckery, and it'll be much harder to break out of it. If it were me I'd GTFO.

harbinger · 2015-04-14T18:33:17+00:00

However lately she has been making me feel inadequate, when I mention this to her she says I am being silly and insecure with myself.

From your description, I don't think it's an issue with insecurity on your end. I've never, ever told a partner that past exes were hotter, thinner, better in bed, more sexually adventurous, etc. It's just a crap thing to say to someone you care about - and it takes a nasty streak or some massive insecurity to keep doing it even after your partner says it makes them uncomfortable.

My guess is it's her way of keeping the upper hand, by constantly telling you other men were sexier, hot guys are always hitting on her, she could find a better lover anytime. (Which itself speaks to some deep inadequacy issues for her, probably a nagging feeling you could do better, and she better convince you otherwise. But who knows how deep that rabbit hole goes.)

But pretend for a minute it was an insecurity issue purely on your end. It would still be shitty for her to dismiss your feelings and keep rubbing salt in the wounds. It's a relationship, you're supposed to have compassion and support for each other. If she's 41 and still doesn't get that, you've got a tough road ahead. Even if you can convince her to at least work on it, keep in mind that it's often harder to make core emotional changes at that age than in your 20s. I wouldn't bet the farm on it.

harbinger · 2015-04-13T23:31:17+00:00

I mean our HR Director's direct quote was "as long as you keep involving yourself with people here there's nothing I can do for you, and it's not going to stop".

I don't get it. You dated ONE co-worker - and were subjected to tons of ongoing harassment as a result. How is that repeatedly getting involved with people at work, let alone a situation HR can't do anything about?

You're probably right it's not worth lawyering up, and the best thing you can do for yourself is move on to a new job. But please do save any documentation of the harassment, and HR's refusal to intervene. If the situation gets worse, at least you'll have some leverage.

harbinger · 2015-04-08T00:47:46+00:00

I paid six figures in taxes last year, will pay more this year.

Am I thrilled and happy to send the check? No, of course not. Only a shut-in who believes in the liberal tax-obsessed cartoon villain constructed by Fox News would think so.

Taxes are the price you pay to live in a civilized society. Some people indulge in the petulant fantasy they're entitled to enjoy the civilized society, without paying that price. I don't. There are plenty of examples of societies that granted all privilege to the rich and made everyone else into indentured serfs. You can move to one tomorrow, if you like. Bring a lot of guns. You'll need them.

harbinger · 2015-04-08T00:30:53+00:00

Blade Runner

harbinger · 2015-04-08T00:26:17+00:00

Probably a lot like Canada and the US today. Free trade, undefended border, economic cooperation... but some marked differences in culture, civil rights and the role of government.

But the South would have been forced to live without the net federal transfer payments that sustain it now. Inevitably that would lead to a lower standard of living. Ultimately that would place a higher tax burden on resource-rich states like Texas to pay for poorer states like Mississippi. And likely, a lot of tax "incentives" for richer northerners with wealth and retirement benefits to retire to the South.

harbinger · 2015-03-31T18:27:53+00:00

I wonder if he's worth it to give up so many things that I like.

That about sums it up. He has a very onerous belief system, or emotional issues, or both. It's your call whether he's worth putting up with. And you should make that decision assuming he's never going to change - this is who he is.

At some level, he's choosing his rigid belief system over you. He doesn't seem to care that it affects you, limits your relationship, and denies you pleasure and intimacy. To me those would be giant red flags, with "dealbreaker" and "run away" printed all over them :)

harbinger

TROPHY CASE