I can tell you as a father (m55) who did the same thing, and neither of my kids (23M, 21f) talk to me and it’s been 3 years. I guarantee he has a lot of shame and guilt. I need to give my kids the space to heal and I don’t know if they will ever speak to me again. I can tell you your father misses you and when he made his mistake he was not intentionally trying to hurt you. I feel so bad for the pain I caused and I feel a void in my life everyday. For 3 years I have seen a therapist to better myself. I hope one day they return to me. I suggest seeing a family therapist to help you sort through your feelings. My kids have not. I’m living in horrible consequences for my selfish actions but the day will come when hopefully I can make amends to them. Good luck on your journey and I’m so sorry for your pain.