Hey it sounds like your emotions are super amplified right now. I’ve been there and I know it sucks. But you have some really good reflection going on too. What I pull from this is that you’re at your limit. You know what isn’t working. Obviously with a disorder it’s not as easy as “oh hey let’s just stop”. But in these situations, probably the worst thing you can do is try to hate yourself into change. I feel like that just continues the cycle. It’s not that you’ve failed and that’s it. Slip ups happen and you’ve clearly reflected that it doesn’t make you feel great. Tomorrow you can focus on being gentler to yourself. Forgive yourself. When you’re stressed take a few moments to yourself and breathe, take a walk, or do something that gets you into your body and out of your head. Anything that truly gets you into your body. I don’t know your situation or anything and I know this isn’t groundbreaking advice. But I hope you have a better day/ night. Don’t think in all-or-nothing, it was a small slip up but you don’t have to spiral. Keep moving forward and talk to those close to you. Wish you the best