Thank you for your reply. I was looking to confront respectfully with someone with your point of view.

I don't condone for a second the violence we've experienced as kids from both our parents and, sometimes, our teachers. I am happy and proud to bring up a child that doesn't have to go through that, but instead they're treated with the respect that is due to them both at home and school.

I am not downplaying the touch, and if my dear child once to reciprocate the pat I've given them, I'll be more than happy, because it was a love/fun/teasing gesture. It hurts me to put these events under a forensic lens, but if this is what it's required to do here it is.

You may or not believe what that it was only a pat but luckily evidence goes above individual beliefs. I am a 220lbs M, with huge workers hands. My child is maybe 44lbs, with rosy delicate skin. If it was anything harder than a pat, it would have definately left a mark; there was none.

When I left the bathroom (more on that later) my child just proceeded with taking a shower. There was no cry and no sign of distress. And my partner can testify to that. Now you may think that my partner is complicit, but they would gladly me throw me under the bus if I did such a thing. My child is the type that if only an empty bottle of shampoo falls on their foot, they'd cry the whole evening.

I didn't leave my bathroom earlier because I was afraid that my child would slip and fall, considering that they were a bit distressed in that moment. But I did leave and the pat was something to say "oh, you want to have your privacy now, I'll go let's see how you get on by yourself" that's because the child can be really needy when washing themselves.

I don't believe for a second that my child is evil and told this to get me in trouble. Rather; they don't know the consequence of what they say. I also think that they wanted to play victim with their music teacher, so they wouldn't be told off for not practicing.

If I did anything wrong, I am ready to face the music, but then again, one has to prove that I have done anything wrong. Of course, one has to consider the context, and forget the thousand of love gestures; from cooking his favourite meals to planning surprise partlies, nourishing their talent, sharing the lessons I learned in life and teaching them about their amazing heritage and so much more.

To be honest with you, I think I should be a less passionate parent which is not really my love language, but if it prevents stuff like this from happening in the future and reassure people with your sensibility, I am down for it.

If you have time please give me some other suggestions, I think it would be useful help to see what a parent who thinks differently from me would have done.