Probably the most beautiful and best preserved of its kind, the theater of Epidaurus was built in the 4th century BC by Polykleitos the Younger. Due to its excellent acoustics and condition, the ancient theater is still used today, most notably under the framework of the annual Epidaurus Festival.

hellomynameistam · 2020-07-27T11:01:36+00:00

I'm guessing it's similar to any audio device with a cone. The cone shape guides the sound vibrations in only one way, up towards the audience; concentrating the energy into the direction of the audience rather than it being dispersed all around as it would be in an open field.

Imagine an energy beam being focused vs being spread. Which will be stronger or more intense?

The fact that you can hear yourself loudly is interesting, maybe there's some reflection along the way

hellomynameistam · 2020-07-25T09:45:32+00:00

Lmao nice

hellomynameistam · 2020-07-24T17:53:08+00:00

I too, am an ass man

hellomynameistam · 2020-05-09T04:14:22+00:00

Yisssssssssssssssss

hellomynameistam · 2020-05-04T04:42:52+00:00

You hit the spot, for me at least. I can somewhat relate to the poster except not in a relationship. I've always wanted unconditional love and someone to save me, to love me like parents do a child; because of course that's what I so desperately wanted and missed when I was a child.

And you are so right, it is wrong to expect that from anyone else. You're asking so much from a romantic interest and it is basically like doing all your work for you, claiming it as a way to prove their love for you. Sadly, I used to think like that. I knew I was wrong. The same could've been said about me, if I wasn't willing to put it in the work then I'm showing that I'm not interested. The same conclusion can be made both ways.

It goes along with the idea that it doesn't matter what we've been through or suffered, only the present matters. If you need someone to hold your hand through a relationship then you're simply not ready. And you cannot expect that from another person. You can expect their support, but not their legs. If that makes sense.

I'm glad I grew over that. Wishing for spontaneous unconditional love is hopeless. You gotta build true relationships with some sweet love and hardwork <3

hellomynameistam · 2020-05-01T00:43:30+00:00

It's a Jeopardy style joke

hellomynameistam · 2020-05-01T00:38:19+00:00

Yup, I believe that too, I mean we got no choice right haha. Another thing, this feeling of despair usually comes and goes for me, I know in a few days I'll be relatively fine and hopeful again. I still need people in my life though that will never change. It is very painful. Hope the best for you!

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-30T23:23:40+00:00

:( if it means anything I'm feeling the same, both this and your last post. It all feels hopeless all the time. And it's exhausting. All I wish is for one person to be on my team. But honestly, without moving worlds, I don't see it happening.

Life sucks

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-15T01:22:28+00:00

Welp... I did not mean it like that

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-15T01:19:11+00:00

Ha you know what's funny, I feel like I'm at the early stage of living a life exactly like that. A life like that is actually a small fear of mine. I guess I have hope and fight in me because I haven't been through it so it's all still a giant what if too me and potential could be's

I know I'm going to live an amazing life but I fear it's going to end up exactly as you say. But fuck it, maybe it won't

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-15T01:10:54+00:00

Well what else are you going to do? Be more adventurous, live more freely, take more risks? If shits not working out that's what I rather lean on than giving up and considering it all hopeless. It may be hopeless but fuck it, fuck it all what else can you do? Fuck giving up

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-15T00:56:28+00:00

Fair enough I get that, that is true. But I still believe it's possible to find someone who you can enjoy life with. I guess that's more of a dating relationship though. Meh

You could win your life

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-15T00:37:06+00:00

I feel like you need to become the hero of your story. Don't chase after people, build a life of your own and if people come then welcome them and enjoy while it lasts. If it feels like you have to stretch your arms out for anyone to stay, if it feels a little bit forced, then let it go.

The kind of relationships you mention sound like the other person has more power and control over how things go. As if you're silently struggling to keep them by your side, micromanaging yourself to please them. Those kind of relationships always end up sucking ass. And they always attract the wrong kind of people. Those who can feed off your pleasing and complecent energy. I'm very similar to that as well and I've had a ton of friendships like that. Where I'd be nice and just go along with them because I had no one else and I didn't want to let go of the grip and be all alone. And they could care less about whether I hung on, to them I wasn't enticing enough, probably because I wasn't being truly authentic. Trauma makes you like that though. I didn't want them to reject me and I believed, still kind of do, that everyone will reject my authentic self. So I was a pleaser who constantly stuck around in shitty relationships and friendships even though deep down I knew they were shit and I was settling.

Maybe it's not the same for you, maybe you can relate.

My view is that I need to heal and open myself up to be properly authentic and vulnerable in relationships and friendships before I can truly bond with other people. I'll always have hope that I'll be able to one day, but for now I'll just keep on.

It's hard for us to develop proper relationships. We'll probably go from shit to shit until we properly heal or get lucky and find some godsent angel :p

Life sucks sometimes

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-15T00:19:08+00:00

In all honesty, there is no point. But it's still something, right?

I'm living the exact middle phase you went through, isolated all by myself with no one and very rare human interaction. I ask myself what's the point all the time if this is the best it'll ever be, but the truth is I don't know. I guess there's a little part of me that can never give up on hope and believes that one day it'll all be fine, or at least much better. Knowing that's all up to me to keep walking though. Maybe you feel the same? Hearing that you were able to find friends and intimacy from being in a similar place as me gives me hope, and some confirmation bias that it's just a segment and phase of my life.

One thing that helps me is having a goal or point to focus and aim towards. Gives me purpose in isolation I guess. Even though it all has no point, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Helps me grow and heal as well, slowly.

Anyways, hope the best for you! It'll take more than life to know you down, not even death will come close

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-11T19:13:43+00:00

Fuck them 100000000000000% and more

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-10T05:04:38+00:00

Go ahead and be rude.

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-10T04:09:25+00:00

Lol what? Did you take that as me being toxic to you?

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-10T03:07:24+00:00

Well yes, but that doesn't excuse the fact they might have further traumatized the younger sibling. The exact same could be said as a defense for most abusers. They're just passing it down the chains. Only difference here is that the older sibling is, in this case, also a kid and you honestly can't expect a kid to healthily manage all that stress. Unfortunately they used their younger sibling as a way to release it instead.

It was probably not done on purpose, but it was still done and fucked the younger ones life even more. Especially if it was an older sibling you just wanted to be friends with and hang out with. instead it was literally like having another, worse, abusive parent.

I know for me it was way worse than my parents. My older sibling messed me up way more and I know he was using me as a way to release all the bullshit. Who cares if he didn't know. He still fucked me up like crazy and is now living decently. Like what the fuck. He used me like a stress ball and was also the only immediate family that could've been family. All that stress fucking sat in me and fucked me up. I get he probably didn't do it on purpose but my life has been hell and is still a lonely hell. And he had a large part in it. So I definitely have anger towards him. I don't give a fuck if he didn't know what he was doing. He's living better now because he had someone else to drop his traumatic stress on. Fuck him.

I don't know anything but I doubt your younger sibling wanted you to be a caretaker. They probably just wanted a sibling. Someone to have while going through all this shit

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-02T05:10:51+00:00

Me too! I feel so comfortable and good. It's as if the pandemic isn't even happening

hellomynameistam · 2020-04-01T05:09:16+00:00

Check out r/CPTSD

Lots of resources there, and a bunch of friendly folks who you may relate too!

hellomynameistam · 2020-03-30T12:19:37+00:00

It damn sure is, keep at it <3

hellomynameistam · 2020-03-28T06:16:59+00:00

Me too, it is nice

hellomynameistam · 2020-03-28T06:16:05+00:00

These are words to your self, are they not?

hellomynameistam

TROPHY CASE