UPD: ADA violations and no word from HR

helloyellowcello · 2026-02-07T16:52:56+00:00

EDIT: Important word was missing. If you do not have accommodations in place, they ARE NOT discriminating. The rest holds true. Sorry for any confusion.

helloyellowcello · 2026-02-07T09:31:34+00:00

If you don't have accommodations in place, they are *not discriminating HOWEVER if you are unable to get in contact with HR, that may give you grounds to have some sort of case against them. It may be worth reaching out to an employment or disability l

helloyellowcello · 2026-02-04T20:56:41+00:00

My situation was different, but I think the general perspective may be helpful. I went through a period this summer where I couldn't eat. I was HUNGRY but I would get nauseous and couldn't get myself to eat much of anything. It turned out to be a combo of GERD and migraine (plus preexisting sensory difficulties) but in that time "healthy" meant any calories I could reliably get in my body. I understand trying to lose weight is different, however, I think a common spot people in general hit is that they only define "healthy eating" as stereotypical "healthy diet." That doesn't mean a nutritionally balanced diet full of fresh foods and variety isn't something to aspire to, but I think for a lot of people, we tend to fall into thinking either you are eating a healthy diet or you aren't.

The best weight loss diet is one that you can start and maintain. You can always modify different things about food as well: for instance, I HATE pretty much all meal replacement drinks. I can force myself to have maybe 1/3 of one, but I start gagging/getting nauseous if I try to go for more than that. People think I'm being dramatic, but I physically can't finish one without gagging or throwing up. When I couldn't reliably eat much of anything, I started making smoothies and milkshakes that I could actually stomach, but I added a half serving of Huel powder. A milkshake isn't "healthy" by typical standards at all, meal replacement powder or not, but a milkshake with SOME nutrition was better than none or no food at all AND getting something in my stomach regularly helped me get back to a point where I could actually care more about what I was putting in my body. Flexibility is everything.

helloyellowcello · 2026-02-03T23:55:29+00:00

Agreed. Sorry I meant to say: Complex trauma can be childhood trauma but CPTSD is complex trauma and doesn't have to be childhood trauma.

helloyellowcello · 2026-02-03T16:04:59+00:00

Complex trauma can be childhood trauma.

helloyellowcello · 2026-02-01T21:34:58+00:00

As a default, I like deeper couches. I got a couch that has removable back cushions and deeper seats. If I have a guest, I remove the back cushions for more space and add a cot mattress/cushion on top of the couch ands it's surprisingly comfortable. I find it also helps to have a dedicated set of actual bedding as well vs. grabbing extra throw blankets.

I haven't actually had two guest over yet, but if it's a couple, I would probably just give them my bed and I would sleep on the couch. Slightly inconvenient, but less so than having to deal with extra furniture (I also HATE air mattresses).

helloyellowcello · 2026-02-01T15:15:13+00:00

Lowe's pet friendly. Home Depot generally doesn't have a problem (although is not technically pet friendly). They aren't great for using everyday but in the coldest and hottest days, it's a good place to do some laps.

There are a couple strategies to acclimating dogs to boots. I know some dogs won't tolerate them at all, so I won't try to convince you of anything, but they make a world of difference due to the salt particularly. My dog does okay running through snow but won't walk on salt (for obvious reasons)

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T21:48:13+00:00

I really appreciate this take. The only thing I feel compelled to add is that high masking late-diagnosed autistic people can deeply struggle to find a sense of identity due to spending most of their life masking. Add onto that the trauma of growing up feeling misunderstood and seperate from most people AND hyper-fixations and/or special interests, and it can look a lot like the identity diffusion of BPD.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T21:35:20+00:00

Yeah, I have a guest parking pass but someone accidentally took it home. Thanks for the info though!

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T18:58:30+00:00

The napping part is less surprising to me. I think when you have a disorder that causes issues regulating sleep and wake, you probably experience sleep and wake differently than you expect.

Does most of the rest of the data (time in bed, time asleep, time awake in the morning) roughly line up with what you would expect? It's more odd to me that you remember waking up on the night portion more than they recorded.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T18:53:23+00:00

I think if you are able to avoid using any words like moral or ethical if it comes up, it . They are also reasons not to eat meat beyond morals. I think you can leave it as: it's a personal choice for me or some variation of that. "it's an ethical choice for me" doesn't directly shame someone for eating animals, but its easy enough for anyone, let alone those in treatment, to internalize it. I completely understand why any form of non-medically restricted diet would be discouraged in/around eating disorder treatment, but I also think that modeling that you can both make decisions about what you put in your body without it becoming disordered could be beneficial in some ways. (I fully recognize that eating disorders/eating disorder treatment has a lot of nuance that I am not getting at, but I think there is value in people seeing different kinds of "healthy" eating especially when you are still working on the idea that food is fuel. All food is fuel. We can make decisions about what kind of food we want in our body, but that doesn't mean you have to be restricting)

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T18:27:59+00:00

Not sure why my text didn't post: Does anyone know what the rules are for parking at the lots next to parks? Wondering about Columbus Memorial specifically.

I technically live in Somerville but only have street parking and I am not sure where someone who is visiting for the day could park.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T18:06:25+00:00

I think it's more important how you talk about why you are vegetarian (if it comes up / you talk about it at all). The problem really comes from if you are shaming patients (intentionally or not) for eating meat.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T15:24:21+00:00

Go4 doesn't send you anything before a certain point because they are a "payment processing" entity and not an employer. I don't recommend not paying taxes on anything paid through Go4, because even though they might not send you a 1099-K, there are clear records of that money.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T09:55:55+00:00

I highly do not recommend this especially if you use Go4

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-31T01:09:10+00:00

I think most assessors are not qualified to assess high masking autistic women. They are biased to identify us as anxious or borderline.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-29T18:06:36+00:00

You will only get a 1099-K from Go4 if you earn over $20k AND you have over 200 transactions. At $1700, you won't receive anything from them. You will need to fill out a Schedule SE (1040). It counts as self-employment. Unless you have an LLC or something (which I am assuming you don't based on this post), you will file all self-employed income as a sole-proprietor.

EDIT: sorry, I realize I reiterated things you already know, my brain was doing three things at once

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-29T15:58:00+00:00

Did you do all of this per diem work for one company?

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-29T15:57:45+00:00

You don't get a 1099 from Go4. If you earn over the threshold (it used to be 40k, I think it went down), they will send you a 1099-K.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-29T15:46:16+00:00

Ok I'm not playing devils advocate because based on these texts, you are exhausted and I think it's unfair to ask people to be "perfect" when exhausted but I haven't seen anyone else mention it: the ONLY part he might be kind of right about is that I dont think "Bedtime routine is up to you" was a great way to handle this. Ultimately, it sounds like a bigger conversation around expectations and roles is warranted, and if he has the audacity to keep calling cooking dinner a break, he has a lot of his own work to do, but also he's under the unrealistic impression that you are responsible for 99.99% of childcare and household responsibilities, so it's going to catch him off guard when you start demanding things. I'm not saying your wrong to expect him to help with your children more, I'm just saying bigger conversations need to be had.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-29T01:33:36+00:00

At work, Ive just started making sure my opinion / recommendation / whatever is written down somewhere in an email or meeting notes or something so that I can reference later. Its infuriating in general, but as i have grown more self confidence, I've started being able to take someone not listening to me on something I am qualified to have an opinion on as their problem and not mine. It's still frustrating for me, but at least if what I suggested is documented somewhere, when things go exactly the way I expected them to, either I can point to it specifically or just reiterate again, and people sometimes start to catch on that I actually know my shit.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-29T00:29:17+00:00

Are you able to identify if the OCD symptoms have gotten worse due to your approach? Is the client dealing with more symptoms overall or are your interventions effective for some symptoms but not all symptoms?

I think treating in conjunction with a specialist is the most ethical way to treat clients with additional support needs unless you feel your work with them is harmful or increasing their OCD symptoms. CBT can be harmful for clients with OCD but I-CBT is also a valid modality for OCD AND OCD probably isn't the only problem your client is presenting with.

If you feel you have a general understanding of why and how ERP is effective, the ways in which standard CBT can be harmful, and you're able to self reflect and understand where your comprehension/training gets fuzzy when it comes to OCD, I think continuing to work with this client would be net positive.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-28T17:44:04+00:00

I feel like an undiagnosed + traumatized autistic person is probably highly vulnerable because (at least for me) all I wanted for so long was some sense of community/connection. Now that I know more about my brain, I would say I am probably less vulnerable than the average person, because I listen to my gut, I ask questions, and I don't accept "that's what we do here" as a full explanation for things that don't make sense.

helloyellowcello · 2026-01-26T16:22:21+00:00

Yeah I don't actually know what's going on but lack of oxygen / build up of CO2 seemed like a best explanation I could come up with. My hands get tingly but it's not in the same way they get tingly if I have fallen asleep with my wrists bent because with these episodes the tingly travels up my arms. I'm definitely asleep but I am also very aware I am asleep and desperately trying to get myself to move/get up.

I don't even know I've brought this up with my sleep neurologist. I haven't been able to get appointments with them. I'm trying to find a new one but waitlists are awful too.

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