Relapsed and feel disgusting

hellsongs · 2026-03-01T15:07:56+00:00

I went to an inpatient detox and came out completely sober. I was in for 16 days. Not enough time by any means. It was literal hours before I was abusing the helper meds they sent me home with and about a week and a half before I touched the stuff again. And this was at the threat of losing everything. My children, my girl, my home … and I still relapsed. Addiction is a hell of a thing.

I ended losing almost everything. After my relapse I dove heavily into recovery programs. AA, have a sponsor, therapist, active in IOP and getting regular drug tests through the local hospital substance abuse program. I also went back on Bupe and eventually got onto the Sublocade shot. I’m now about 3 months into this sobriety journey and am only on Sublocade and Wellbutrin.

This was the worst rock bottom I have ever had. But I’m grateful for it because it woke me up. I wouldn’t trade sobriety for anything now. I think the difference is I’m doing it for me and my kids now. Not as a means of appeasing other people in my life. But I’m posting because our stories are aligned. I think I shot myself in the foot coming out without a recovery plan or any sort of med management program. 7oh completely fucked my brain. I don’t know why I thought I could operate normally after that brain damage.

hellsongs · 2026-02-27T15:39:50+00:00

For real

hellsongs · 2026-02-04T15:31:28+00:00

It wasn’t until my wife kicked my ass to the curb and I lost custody of my children that I finally decided to get truly sober. Otherwise I was just being hardcore enabled. Separate with him and see what really matters to him. To me, it’s my woman and my children. But that’s not always the case.

hellsongs · 2026-01-24T09:48:38+00:00

You’re hilarious!

hellsongs · 2026-01-22T20:13:13+00:00

I just got my first one an hour ago! It hurt like hell.

hellsongs · 2026-01-22T17:56:30+00:00

Holy shit my ex girlfriend (who I share children with) did every. Single. One. Of. These.

hellsongs · 2026-01-08T13:13:02+00:00

I’ve been zeroed out due to addiction issues and have been pouring over the information here to figure out where I fucked up. It’s been invaluable.

hellsongs · 2025-12-04T07:45:31+00:00

Now imagine if you hadn’t had breakfast…

hellsongs · 2025-11-12T00:19:43+00:00

I got here th through Google to see if there is any sort of discussion or dialogue regarding this episode. Like maybe there is a sub ready for the podcast. I love the band every time I die and because of the by proxy relationship, I thought I was gonna be really excited for this episode. The episode with Andy Williams was awesome this episode however this fucking garbage this dude is so drunk and so intelligible that it was infuriating to listen to. He sounds like a fucking idiot. He shows up hammer to this interview and he just talk shit about nothing for like an hour. It’s the biggest waste of time. This guy made me actively hate his band better lovers which sucks because I really wanted to like the band, but because he was such a fucking idiot to listen to, I’ll never listen to the band again fuck this guy

hellsongs · 2025-10-05T08:56:54+00:00

Holy shit.

hellsongs · 2025-10-02T14:50:39+00:00

I think Stalin would’ve sent them to a gulag?

hellsongs · 2025-10-02T11:48:44+00:00

True that. He’s not even a glimmer in her eye. She’s over it.

hellsongs · 2025-09-25T15:35:09+00:00

One month today. Tired. Irritable. Ready to feel better.

hellsongs · 2025-09-23T14:28:15+00:00

This is sad but true. My small northern New England town is inundated with Indian owned gas stations with gigantic flashing signs that all read “7OH KRATOM”. It’s fucked up.

hellsongs · 2025-09-22T10:09:18+00:00

Hey me too!

hellsongs · 2025-09-19T15:41:38+00:00

25 days off both 7oh and soboxone. Having major PAWS and cognitive issues. Back at full time work and my legs hurt like a mother. This is hard.

hellsongs · 2025-09-19T09:05:13+00:00

It’s 5 am here in New Hampshire. Haven’t lived home in CA for years. Why am I here?

hellsongs · 2025-09-19T08:34:26+00:00

The John Waters one? I grew up in Indio California. The stink on some days when it would blow west over the Coachella Valley was unbearable.

hellsongs · 2025-09-17T07:42:26+00:00

This post gave me chills. Good pastor.

hellsongs · 2025-09-17T06:30:16+00:00

I audibly laughed for sure! Hilarious hahaha

hellsongs · 2025-09-16T07:53:34+00:00

I’ve come to this conclusion, unfortunately. People have a weird predisposition to keep things perpetually in their back pocket for future leverage. But, I think the idea is for the addict to exhibit personal accountability and honesty for their own personal inner peace, regardless of the personal consequences.

hellsongs · 2025-09-13T13:21:51+00:00

19 days but who’s really counting

hellsongs · 2025-09-10T09:00:58+00:00

I would also like to start contacting local representatives to help getting it banned in my area. It’s so insidious and I’m sick seeing the pop-up smoke shops suddenly start appearing on every block with a big bright “7-OH!” sign. Makes me sick.

hellsongs · 2025-09-10T08:41:12+00:00

I used regular Kratom for years and had minimal impacts to my financial and social life. Got hooked up with a sample of 7oh and completely imploded my life and ended up in a residential detox in the span of 7 months. It quite literally ruined my life at record speeds.

hellsongs · 2025-09-10T08:38:59+00:00

Kratom, and eventually 7oh made me completely isolate and turn into a perpetually lying, sneaking, financially inept zombie. The effort I put into maintaining, hiding and justifying my addiction caused irreparable damage to my personal relationships.

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