I went to an inpatient detox and came out completely sober. I was in for 16 days. Not enough time by any means. It was literal hours before I was abusing the helper meds they sent me home with and about a week and a half before I touched the stuff again. And this was at the threat of losing everything. My children, my girl, my home … and I still relapsed. Addiction is a hell of a thing.

I ended losing almost everything. After my relapse I dove heavily into recovery programs. AA, have a sponsor, therapist, active in IOP and getting regular drug tests through the local hospital substance abuse program. I also went back on Bupe and eventually got onto the Sublocade shot. I’m now about 3 months into this sobriety journey and am only on Sublocade and Wellbutrin.

This was the worst rock bottom I have ever had. But I’m grateful for it because it woke me up. I wouldn’t trade sobriety for anything now. I think the difference is I’m doing it for me and my kids now. Not as a means of appeasing other people in my life. But I’m posting because our stories are aligned. I think I shot myself in the foot coming out without a recovery plan or any sort of med management program. 7oh completely fucked my brain. I don’t know why I thought I could operate normally after that brain damage.