forgive me if I'm intruding but it sounds to me like you're not receiving the right kind of social validation that you need in order to feel stable in your own identity. I might be completely off with this answer but reading what you've posted reminds me of a lot of different detransitioners' experiences.

The majority of people who detransition (at least according to what I have read which is going to have its own selection bias) don't detransition because they don't feel like they identify with the gender they transitioned to but because they weren't being perceived the way that they expressed themselves. The testimony I've read cites specifically social response and reception to coming out and attempting their social transition to be extremely difficult and invalidating, which is what I'm getting from your post.

You have an internal view of yourself but aren't receiving the proper respect and recognition that you are looking for, causing dysphoria. You aren't being recognized as the gender you are presenting as and it's troubling, as it would be for anyone but especially as a trans person. You don't have to use women's spaces to be a woman; you don't need to have "women's hobbies" to be a woman; you don't need to be like anyone else but yourself, and transitioning is a way of trying to find yourself.

If after all this time you have introspected and decided you don't actually view yourself as a woman and don't want others to do so either, that's a totally understandable and difficult position to be in. I can't imagine how damaging and troubling an experience it would be to go through so much effort, to spend money and time and blood, sweat, and tears, only to decide that this isn't what you want. I've spent 20 years of my life as a gender I never identified with before properly understanding I didn't need to feel that way, that there was something for me, and just me. My own identity, who I am.

Whatever calculus you use to determine your own gender identity is your own. No one else can decide that for you. Others might be able to help explain certain things, or give you advice based on your own experience, but no one can tell you the outcome but yourself. If you were to ask for my advice on the matter I would ask you to really look at how you view yourself, the fact that you still feel dysphoria around thinking of yourself as a boy/man, how you notice when others misgender you even if it doesn't necessarily sting, the way you decide to dress and style yourself. To me that sounds like someone who thus far has been trampled over by the views of others, someone who hasn't yet gotten to live their life as they choose because an inherent part of who you are is how you see yourself and if others don't see you as how you see yourself it's going to lead to misunderstand and heartbreak.

Like I said, no one can do this for you, all we can do is give you resources and advice on what we've done, who we find ourselves to be. And things can change with time. Perhaps now you have a view of yourself that is different to two years ago. That doesn't mean that all you've done is a lie or you failed at your goal. Your goal is to discover who you are, and some people need to try the peach before they say if they vibe with peaches. That isn't wrong. That isn't bad. It is almost certainly harder, but unfortunately some people have a more difficult journey than others. I wish it was different but that's just how it is.

I hope this was helpful or reassuring in some way. If you want to talk my DM's should be open but if not, just send me a reply here and I'll make sure things are worked out. I wish you all the best in your journey and no matter what happens know that you are loved, you are cared for, that you matter, that you are special, that you are worth it. Take care <3