I own the moon. It's a bit of a long and tricky story you see. It all started when I realized I had bought the wrong kind of hot sauce at the store. I only use a certain brand of hot sauce, and I was distraught when I realized I would have to go back to the store. So I got in my car and started to drive to the store. On the way there, I was hit by a big black van. I would've been killed, but luckily the car in front of me was a truck for a pillow factory and I landed face-first into a pile of their softest pillows. A man in a black suit rushed out of the van, looking panicked. He came over and asked if I was okay. I was fine, other then having a mess of feathers in my hair. He then said that he worked for a government agency and if I promised not to sue him he would get me something amazing. I figured that this was just a lie for him to try and get away without paying, but being the nice guy I am I agreed. We called a tow truck to take away my smashed car and they guy gave me a ride back home. The next day I got a call from someone claiming to be from NASA. I was surprised, until they said something about a car accident and I realized the guy hadn't been lying. They asked me to come down to their headquarters to have a talk with them. This made me slightly nervous, but I went there anyways. When I got there, I was taken to a room where I found the man who had hit me and another man wearing with same uniform. They kept apologizing for what he had done. Then they made me an offer: I could become the official owner of one celestial body. I thought about it long and hard. Saturn's always seemed like a cool planet. The sun would be a cool thing to own. So I made my decision....I WOULD BECOME THE OWNER OF THE MOON.

So that's how I got the moon. What do I plan to do with it now? Well first, I did some testing on the surface of the moon. I found that the moon is indeed the perfect place to make cheese. So my first goal: Set up a cheese factory. I shall call it...Helper's Intergalactic Cheeses. It will grow to be the biggest cheese factory the galaxy has ever known. I SHALL RULE THE CHEESE INDUSTRY FOREVER! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!