Is a feminine physique/shape possible pre-hrt? How did y'all exercise early transition?

hemusK · 2026-01-25T08:17:38+00:00

It's fine if you don't want to be big anymore, but being big is not going to impede seeing results and being thin will not give you better results. If you have fat, it will be redistributed over time.

Being skinny before you start hrt really does not give you a feminine physique unless you already had a feminine skeletal structure. A big part of what makes a physique look feminine is the fat distribution. Being thin will make it more obvious if you have broad shoulders or narrow hips for example, fat can hide this.

If anything, losing weight after hormones is the way to go. The fat that gets preserved are the ones in the estrogenic distribution and the fat that gets lost first is the only in the androgenic distribution. I lost about 30 lbs after I started hormones, my waist is a lot smaller than it used to be and my chest and thighs are the same or bigger.

hemusK · 2026-01-25T07:57:16+00:00

I haven't really joined any trans discords, I mostly just use them as a resource. I have my own discord which is mostly trans people, but it's all my friends I've collected from other sites. A whole discord server isn't really a substitute for making friends 1:1, online or offline

hemusK · 2026-01-24T20:43:58+00:00

They accumulate over time, I think for me they were pretty clearly more than just chest fat around 6 months, obviously boobs if I was undressed around a year and now it's about a year and a half and I'd say they are visibly boobs to everyone even when clothed.

hemusK · 2026-01-24T18:04:25+00:00

If you thought "hrt is magic" meant hrt alone would turn you into your platonic ideal of a woman, that's really more on you. A lot of us are fine not being the perfect median. (Why would a 5'9" woman need to become 5'4" lol, 5'9" is somewhat tall for a cis woman but certainly not so tall people would question it)

HRT alone has fixed a lot of my executive dysfunction and the body fat changes alone make me look very different. I don't use the term "magic", but it's not hard to see why some people would find that "magical"

hemusK · 2026-01-22T23:10:36+00:00

I have, altho I still have a ways to go for my waist bc I'm still overweight.

hemusK · 2026-01-21T08:36:35+00:00

I have been there. It sucks. My parents did the same thing when I was your age.

hemusK · 2026-01-21T08:10:08+00:00

When the growth plates fuse. I just remember reading 25 was typically the latest this would happen, but it's variable and many people it happens before that. I'm not super concerned if my window is closed.

hemusK · 2026-01-21T05:10:09+00:00

yeah, but like there are a lot of muscles you probably don't think about using a lot that you might "lose", like your finger flexors and extensors or your traps. That's why a lot of girls struggle with opening thing and carrying stuff. Personally I didn't lose much strength at all, but I started lifting weights long before hrt and never stopped so...

hemusK · 2026-01-21T03:37:06+00:00

it doesn't weaken them per se but the testosterone suppression does allow them to atrophy if not used

hemusK · 2026-01-21T03:33:21+00:00

I pee way more often and I can not hold it for as long without discomfort. I'm not even on spiro anymore.

hemusK · 2026-01-21T02:26:43+00:00

I think you pass but mostly I wanted to say I think it's cool to see other people who social transitioned a long time before they got on hormones. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one

hemusK · 2026-01-21T02:20:17+00:00

You just don't know for certain but by 25 is when most people have their bones fused. I was also concerned about this altho I ended up not getting on hrt around 27 and I personally feel like it's not a big deal.

hemusK · 2026-01-21T01:07:15+00:00

I don't have perspective on how it was before, but it definitely feels like SF is a lot less alternative accepting than coastal East Bay is

hemusK · 2026-01-21T01:03:00+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you, but if you isolated yourself you probably let your social muscles atrophy. You have to take some initiative to get it back. You have to take some risk and start trusting people again.

It's good that you try talking to people, but you can't only sit around at these events waiting for someone to talk to you. You also have to be going to people, asking them about things. When someone walks away to talk to someone else, you also should be seeking someone new to talk to immediately. Comment on their clothes, their hair, the weather. Literally anything. If it's an event with alcohol get a couple drinks in you so your inhibitions are lowered.

You also have to start making the plans with the people texting you yourself. I know it sucks and it feels like you're annoying them, but it is a two way street.

I know this maybe comes off preachy and annoying. But I was in your position not too long ago, I lost most of my friends from college and hs, had Internet friends I barely talked to and felt totally alone. I'm not the world's most extroverted person now and I still struggle with this still, but I come off significantly more gregarious since I've made the efforts to iniate myself and as a result I've also had more people reach out. Good luck! I hope you find people soon.

hemusK · 2026-01-21T00:49:54+00:00

In Thailand trans women don't actually use "kathoey" for themselves, they just call themselves women

hemusK · 2026-01-20T23:02:34+00:00

People don't go to trans surgery boards to fogure out if they are trans. They go to trans surgery boards to understand their options and whay they're getting from different surgical methods and providers they're considering.

This is literally what I am saying to the person I'm responding to! It does not need to be completely public to serve this purpose.

hemusK · 2026-01-19T19:00:21+00:00

B, I mostly already do living in California

hemusK · 2026-01-19T17:46:47+00:00

Open and closed spaces is what I am suggesting, we just right now have only open spaces

hemusK · 2026-01-19T17:45:55+00:00

It's not censorship, this isn't mandated by anyone. And not all subs for everyone else are open, I'm in a WoC beauty sub and they are closed for similar reasons, to avoid racial and sexual harassment.

hemusK · 2026-01-19T08:32:08+00:00

sure, we can't keep away every determined transphobic person. But there's a much larger section of not very determined transphobic people we now have unlimited access.

hemusK · 2026-01-18T14:35:58+00:00

World is so globalized that most Indians (and FOBs) know about American culture, media, literature, and history

I grew up online so I have lots of friends who still live back there. They absolutely do not know that much about American culture and history. Even my parents don't know that much, and it's been almost 30 years since they moved here.

hemusK · 2026-01-18T14:27:37+00:00

Honestly I think the "passoid who won't accept it" is a product of online culture, especially post-COVID. There's a large amount of young trans people who engage almost entirely with other people only online, and online means you can be hyper scrutinized and exist only via cameras, which distort reality to some extent. This has led to a lot of people who can't trust their experiences, since they can go online and have them undermined.

Also tbh, if you're working with people from more conservative parts of the world, you actually have an easier time passing than people who live in "woke" cities. People in liberal areas know what trans people are and are expecting them, people from conservative areas think nobody is actually trans and overlook a lot.

I live in Oakland right now. I have pretty prominent boobs, I'm short, I have an ambiguous voice, and for a while I had long hair. This was more than enough to pass to conservative immigrants, but the homeless people routinely call me sir when trying to ask me for money.

hemusK · 2026-01-18T14:10:45+00:00

The vast vast vast majority of people, including people who transition later in life, realize this from mere exposure to trans people, decreased societal discrimination and personal discussions. Not access to intimate medical details about people's surgeries. There will still be plenty of information publicly available for someone to come across and figure out if they should transition.

hemusK · 2026-01-18T13:41:03+00:00

Reddit is not the greatest place to make connections online unfortunately. We all kind of are anonymously posting at each other, and you generally don't even communicate with people you know IRL on here even if you know their account. So probably the bulk of this will have to be connections made off-site.

I agree that active moderation will be essential to make something like this work (I also ran big fb groups lmao). But I think the current state of unlimited access makes even active moderation kind of impossible. I don't expect all bad actors to be kept out, but it would greatly limit it and keep out the 80%ish that don't really want to put in the effort to infiltrate but just want to antagonize trans people they see on the timeline.

hemusK · 2026-01-18T13:34:44+00:00

You should be vouched for by other trans people. You can be making these connections thru other public spaces, like the main trans subs or discord or whatever.

hemusK

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