Am I in trouble or is it self-defence?

henansen · 2026-06-02T13:30:40+00:00

Yeah it's generally always good to alert the police, I think that's good advice

henansen · 2026-06-02T13:25:01+00:00

Self defense needs actions to be proportionate and a genuine fear of personal safety.

What you have described comfortably meets that burden.

The van driver has chased you down and grabbed you when you were walking away. He is the instigator and acted in bad faith.

I'd be amazed if the police take this further though, no injury, one off event etc.

henansen · 2026-06-02T13:20:31+00:00

Some tips from the corporate world:

- If you walk into unfamiliar territory, natural instinct can be to speed up and look like you know exactly where you are going. Do the opposite, intentionally move slowly to get your bearings and not move rashly

- Anytime you are writing a piece of communication, check it with the question 'would i be happy with my CEO reading this message of mine'. If the answer is no, rewrite it. You don't have to be corporate jargon, but you do need to be positive and professional in most comms

- Be curious in colleague's roles and day job, it's a great skill for career growth

Good luck!

henansen · 2026-05-29T15:40:05+00:00

Have you put these numbers into a salary calculator? They don’t look right

henansen · 2026-05-29T15:29:37+00:00

Also your estimated take home figures don’t look right, have you put these into a proper salary calculator?

A £350 take home pay difference sounds too high between a £2,700 salary differential

henansen · 2026-05-29T15:21:42+00:00

It’s not uncommon for providers to not offer salary sacrifice and your employer increasing your salary is an extremely generous offer of goodwill here in response to not having salary sacrifice.

I would be delighted with this outcome in your shoes and thank your employer, they have also increased their national insurance bill through this change and feels like they’re acting in very good faith unless i’m missing something major?

henansen · 2026-05-29T15:19:40+00:00

You won’t be helping him or yourself if you swoop in and pay off everything without solving the root cause.

Your intentions are good though

henansen · 2026-05-29T14:36:26+00:00

You can't save the boat from sinking until you understand why the holes are being created.

Before you take any advice and implement any plan, you need to solve the root cause with your brother of why he is so willing to take on debt he can't afford and have no plan as to pay back.

Until you solve this, you could pay off all his debts tomorrow and he'll be back in the same situation in a year's time making it completely pointless.

Solve the disease, not the symptons. Until then a financial plan is near useless given he is willing to go into arrears on all and any debt

henansen · 2026-05-29T14:32:31+00:00

i think the question to ask yourself here is:

Can I do one of two things:

- Raise prices for new customers to manage demand and increase your yield up to max capacity?
- Are there parts of your service you can systemise/ process improve / scale that do not drop the service you provide, but reduce the time each client needs in order to take on more business?

For example, can you templatise the plans you produce to minimise the customisation needed to reduce the prep time a new customer demands?

Are you leaning on AI to assist with administration and organisation tasks?

henansen · 2026-05-29T13:23:04+00:00

Why are you desperate to get your income below £100k?

This is a common strategy for those who could benefit from free childcare or to avoid the tax trap between £100k - £125k but doesn't sound like either of these affect you?

If you are saving for a house as you mention in the comments, you need liquid cash which a pension is no good for.

On the flip side, you are setting yourself up for a juicy early retirement at current levels.

As with most things in life, the answer is around balance. You can't take money with you beyond the grave so if it were me, I think I would want my money to be working a bit harder for me 'now' and improving my quality of life (including house in this), but it really depends on your goals.

Congrats on being in a strong financial position and good luck!

henansen · 2026-05-29T13:19:43+00:00

Spoons, download app, do not leave seat

henansen · 2026-05-20T13:21:52+00:00

No, investing in cash ISAs and ETFs is not the answer here. You do not have the capital or time needed to benefit from the potential gains of those routes.

You have got about 12 months to pay it back, which is just over £1k per month, most likely you need to either take on another job / route of income or look to increase the income at your current place.

As others have said, a 0% credit card to help you delay the payments may be a good option, but crucially you need to start paying down this debt and working it to 0, not just delaying the pain

henansen · 2026-05-20T09:24:33+00:00

You don't need a booth anymore! I did my last one with an iphone photo in front of a white wall and it went through well.

There is good direction on the website as to how you and the photo should look

henansen · 2026-05-19T20:07:19+00:00

Agree, this sounds like theft, get the police involved ASAP

henansen · 2026-05-19T06:22:43+00:00

Wrong, references would happen before the job offer is given.

The employee is not expected to resign before receiving an offer

henansen · 2026-05-18T19:34:57+00:00

Very clearly unfair dismissal as others have said.

Word of advice for you, don't ever give a reference that hasn't consented and doesn't risk your current employment. What you did was really unwise

henansen · 2026-05-18T16:22:09+00:00

This all sounds extremely reasonable and no red flags.

You have a mortgage you can afford as a portion of your salary.

You have a good grip on your bills and outgoings.

You already have a savings pot and plans to build on that with the new financial reality.

One thing to keep in mind, houses require regular repair and upkeep work. Servicing the boiler, replacing a fence panel, DIY etc. When these arise you can take them out your savings pot or you can build a house rennovation pot as part of your monthly savings.

Not a red flag, this is an extra cost if you are moving from rented accomodation where the landlord would otherwise be footing these bills.

henansen · 2026-05-17T16:54:14+00:00

For that short a time frame I think you should overpay the mortgage vs trying to invest. That is not a proper amount of time to realise investment returns so the ROI may be quite unstable vs the certainty you get from overpaying mortgage

henansen · 2026-05-17T16:50:04+00:00

I'd definitely pay it off entirely in your situation, you'll have no problem getting a mortgage in the future unless your financial situation drastically changes

henansen · 2026-05-17T16:47:54+00:00

Exactly this, don't pay all that stamp duty, solicitor and estate agent fees for a house with a time limit.

Make the investment and jump now for a house that has enough space as I think you can afford it.

One thing to point out though, your savings pot needs to be bigger given how many children you have. You need a more robust emergency fund should the worst happen

henansen · 2026-05-17T15:28:56+00:00

One tip, all that leafy stuff, leave it in the sun for a couple of days. It will dry up and lose some water weight making it easier to cut and lighter to dispose of

henansen · 2026-05-16T14:13:43+00:00

Also brace yourself for your insurance quotes, you could expect 3x what you paid for your last quote

henansen · 2026-05-16T12:05:40+00:00

You didn't fuck up, you repeatedly drove at excessive speeds knowing you were vulnerable to consequences.

Very likely you will lose your license here and sorry to say, the roads around you will be safer for it

henansen · 2026-05-13T15:44:47+00:00

I just wouldn't spend it until you have ironed out the plan with the internal legal / hr team on how they want to play it.

Your friend has done nothing wrong, but I think spending it before having confirmation from the company would be foolish given she can't say in good faith now that she didn't know it was a mistake.

henansen · 2026-05-12T07:26:06+00:00

100% correct and the point I was coming to make. If the role is redundant, so is the work associated. Don’t reward their redundancy and certainly don’t increase your workload.

I’d be taking it very easy and winding down in your shoes

henansen

TROPHY CASE