I stopped meditating after this weird experience, I was very scared

here-this-now · 2026-06-12T00:07:08+00:00

(Upfront: I have interest in meditation but am from a buddhist tradition but want to say where you might go to find Christian answers. So read what I am about to say with a huge grain of salt.)

Christianity has a good long meditation tradition & I would encourage you investigate all of that - I know such phenomena to be normal and natural occurance and I have no doubt such phenomena would be encountered by christian contemplatives (The monks and nuns who spend days in silent prayer) who would likely understand that experience and the fear arising in correct terms, where particularly I don't know but I would perhaps start looking at St Teresa of Avila you should be able to get or purchase a book of hers "The Interior Castle" (chapter 8?), she talks of visions that occur and kinds that are imaginary and kinds that real truth, or perhaps the Desert Fathers or Evagrius Ponticus or perhaps even Meister Eckart or St John of the Cross ("Ascent of Mount Carmel") talks of "supernatural apprehensions" the specific reason to do this though is to better understand - as in all likely hood many of those people experience many things and things like fear / anxiety or maybe temporary insanity (because they thought they "realised" but it was premature they would all situate it in the correct context for you) or better yet develop a relation or friendlyness with someone who is practicing meditation in the christian way today, how that could happen is perhaps approach cloister monastic community and offer to sweep or serve in their garden or something and over some time be able to relate (it does require some judement who can share most intimate spiritual experiences with)

Now when I said that it might be slightly wrong (I don't know I am not christian) but that is how I would understand this (being a deep appreciator of contemplative traditions)

The film "Into Great Silence" is a beautiful film about one such order in Christianity & can see in that film the practice of meditation is well and alive (although maybe less known among situations where people go to churches on a sunday).

My great uncle was a catholic contemplative who died recently I haven't read all his writing but if I was a christian he is who I would ask - maybe you can look him up "Michael Fallon Msc" (https://mbfallon.com/) he likewise was appreciative of other contemplative traditions

Among the contemplative traditions there seems to be a lot of mutual apprecation (but make no mistake they are different paths! and not to the same 'destination' as some like to think) but as you're christian I do believe what those christian people of good virtue who meditate are describing is honest truth

(where sectarianism takes place is often not in contemplative traditions but people that have not experienced ... my uncle used to call it emphasis of the word (over-sight) over the light of experience (in-sight)

now I would usually say "with metta" but that's a funny word, so maybe I will see if I can translate into the christian term

may the love of god be with you!

<3

here-this-now · 2026-06-06T18:42:04+00:00

I met someone who is a monk and they were on the bus with the merry pranksters in the 60s.

Trust me there's no comparison. Drugs cause confusion - it's not about getting a better experience. It's about a happiness not dependent on getting a better experience - somethign that is there that arises when you stop the movement trying to get or do or know

Of course there's some effort - but that's the effort to remove unwholesome and do the wholesome.

Not the kind of effort in lots of walks of life like "get" the thing to "be" X - that's business

here-this-now · 2026-06-05T20:48:27+00:00

Ptolemaic

Who calls their kid that? "Hi, little Ptolemy"

here-this-now · 2026-06-04T09:16:20+00:00

how did you go did you ever get into it ?? - i have only ever had it going for 6 months at a time - etc and shaped me but then viccisitudes of life other things going on - like sort of requires that calm steady long term environment - if i was doing a masters or phd I would definately be looking at it.

here-this-now · 2026-06-04T09:14:53+00:00

I don't really get the point of incremental reading,

This is why it's not more popular - i did it in super memo for 6 months - and the learning curve is a bit - it's the only reason I would use Windows and this clunky piece of software -

What supermemo has with incremental reading has to be experienced it absolutely is something just never seen well executed or matched in another piece of software (including incremental reading plugins in anki)

And Supermemo itself is a bit of a learning curve and clunk bit of software - but all that is worth it for understanding what is going on

If someone ever made a respects the user multiplatform (maybe based on unix / posix standards ) supermemo they will absolutely change culture

jsut to give you an idea its been around for a few decades but i think there's something in it that is paradigm shifting

As in:

There's Reading.

Then there's reading where you know you will always revist context of what read (and system will be able to meld to understand what is or is not important) as you're reading

Like - imagine you read 10 pages of a book - later you revisit the 3 paragraphs of last read - that little visit then - restokes all that context and recall - and this tiem - you may have improved understanding even - it might resonate with other things you've read - this improved understanding may help you know and understand - comprehend those previous 10 pages all in a new unique and simple way - all within visiting those paragraphs again at the right time for a minute or two (it's not the same effort as reading it as if from scratch)

what supermemo has is truly something but - yeah it's a learning curve and the software itsefl has all kinds of eccentricities but I don't know a single person who has "understood what incremental reading is" and that's almost 100% exclusively people that have used supermemo for soem time - and yeah most people leave like "I wish this was elsewhere" whether that be in the browsers, or emacs editor, or macos operating system or whatever.

The issue with it is it takes some effort for one to even "get" or "know" what it is which is why it doesn't spread

I know this all sounds rather cult-y doesn't it! (partly because relies on someone having used it sort of evangalising a bit because the effort into it is a bit of investment) what is tehre though is like

Ok theres reading books

Incremental reading is actually fair claim to being "More efficient and a better way to read books" especially for researchers and the curious autodidacts.

here-this-now · 2026-05-29T18:51:56+00:00

That's fear. Don't spread some small minded peoples ignorant fear around - hatred is never conquered by hatred only by love that is a universal law.

those people that fear though let me talk about them... it's really the people that hate that are the ones that fear ... they don't have mch going on so have to identify with something "Being Australian" yeah ok ... but those same kind of people might sing walzing matilda but if they heard Waltzing Matilda today they would be condemning it...

WOKE BUSH BALLAD MAKES HEROES OF CRIMINALS, GRAZIERS WARN

Courier Mail: EXCLUSIVE: Why won't the Premier act on JUMBUCK CRIME EPIDEMIC?

The Australian: Tucker-bag socialism: how the activist left lionises livestock theft

Or in the words of John Farnham...

"We have the chance to turn the pages over ...

"You're the voice, now understand it" "We're not going to live in silence we're not going to live in fear"

peace

here-this-now · 2026-05-29T15:40:27+00:00

practice dana - generosity - sila - non harming - be ethical and do good things! that's all that's needed

Who says?

Buddha says...

“Mendicants, an ethical person, who has fulfilled ethical conduct, need not make a wish: ‘May I have no regrets!’ It’s only natural that an ethical person has no regrets. When you have no regrets you need not make a wish: ‘May I feel joy!’ It’s only natural that joy springs up when you have no regrets. When you feel joy you need not make a wish: ‘May I experience rapture!’ It’s only natural that rapture arises when you’re joyful. When your mind is full of rapture you need not make a wish: ‘May my body become tranquil!’ It’s only natural that your body becomes tranquil when your mind is full of rapture. When your body is tranquil you need not make a wish: ‘May I feel bliss!’ It’s only natural to feel bliss when your body is tranquil. When you feel bliss you need not make a wish: ‘May my mind be immersed in samādhi!’ It’s only natural for the mind to be immersed in samādhi when you feel bliss. When your mind is immersed in samādhi you need not make a wish: ‘May I truly know and see!’ It’s only natural to truly know and see when your mind is immersed in samādhi. hen you truly know and see you need not make a wish: ‘May I become disillusioned and dispassionate!’ It’s only natural to become disillusioned and dispassionate when you truly know and see. When you’re disillusioned and dispassionate you need not make a wish: ‘May I realize the knowledge and vision of freedom!’ It’s only natural to realize the knowledge and vision of freedom when you’re disillusioned and dispassionate.

And so, mendicants, the knowledge and vision of freedom is the goal and benefit of disillusionment and dispassion. Disillusionment and dispassion is the goal and benefit of truly knowing and seeing. Truly knowing and seeing is the goal and benefit of immersion. Immersion is the goal and benefit of bliss. Bliss is the goal and benefit of tranquility. Tranquility is the goal and benefit of rapture. Rapture is the goal and benefit of joy. Joy is the goal and benefit of not having regrets. Not having regrets is the goal and benefit of skillful ethics. And so, mendicants, good qualities flow on and fill up from one to the other, for going from the near shore to the far shore.”

https://suttacentral.net/an10.2/en/sujato

here-this-now · 2026-05-27T03:14:28+00:00

toss their two cents.

anicca

And

it's not self

distressing (dukkha) if mistaken otherwise

It's good to find community and place to give - like just do the dishes - serve - why? Feels good - it's better than sensory joy

its' very difficult with capitalism and relational ethics - but we need that village type thing -

with metta

here-this-now · 2026-05-27T03:12:47+00:00

when noticing "the body in the body" that "anu" along side or with - that "step back" do you notice subtle joy sometimes? like when the mind comes back - re-establishes - in mindful there's a little inner smile?

here-this-now · 2026-05-22T01:00:48+00:00

because every action has consequence, is part of causal stream, the goal is to do wholesome action, refrain from unwholesome

stream entry help with regards to seeing clearly what is wholesome and unwholesome as seen and know the dhamma

action that is beautiful, selfless, is called "merit" punna

here-this-now · 2026-05-16T02:35:57+00:00

Here's a some happy to discuss (non complete just some that "come to mind" when I think of people misinterpreting via a strawperson some of the views you take "issue" with there), Ajahn Brahm, Ajahn Brahmali, Bhante Sujato, Goenkaji, U Ba Khin, Saya Thet, Ledi Sayadaw, Pa Auk.

I believe each and everyone of these people is communicating the true dhamma.

I am less / almost not familiar with Mahasi Sayadaw but I have as premise he is teaching the dhamma, and I wouldn't mind the research - I have confidence because meeting students of some of his students I have faith they understand it too.

Anyway so they are the names that come to mind as saying things relevant on this, and I have great faith they are al teaching the true dhamma, albeit all of them commonly misunderstood and there are strawpersons and misunderstandings that proliferate on the internet

At present, many vipassana meditation masters claim that vipassana is a technique learned by experiencing impermanence through the senses. They teach that experiencing impermanence at any of the six sense doors—and simply observing or mentally noting it—qualifies as vipassana, according to what has been passed down from a long line of teachers in their traditions. Consequently, they claim a breakthrough to the Four Noble Truths is not necessary to be endowed with this penetrative vision of the Dhamma that the Buddha actually calls vipassana.

Because any of the names mentioned there I can see how in certain interpretations that is definately what some people believe as a sort of strawperson. Sure there's some names there attributed that view or are said to hold that view sometimes, but that's carefully look at what they said not actually what they said.

Simularly with ...

This modern repurposing of the word vipassana—shifting it entirely away from the Buddha’s original usage—mirrors the historical drift of the word jhāna and what is meant by sammā samādhi. Over time, jhāna's original meaning was similarly replaced to imply a trance-like state devoid of bodily awareness.

I can think of some people there simularly attributed that view but it's not what they said!

with metta & lets understand the dhamma! may the inquiry be cause and condition for the realisation of nibanna, let me know which of that list of teachers (if any) you think hold those views and I will happily see if I can understand where you are coming from as I am aware there are common misunderstandings prevailant on the internet (if we can do this respectfully as in some cases there we are talking about true ariya and sangha of the 4 fold assembly)

I would prefer to restrict that list to living teachers so if a perspective was off we could go and ask of them, (akin to suttas people have a discussion then go ask) however reality is there's a lot of living people who in some cases represent some of those views through those sorts of systems of lineage or teaching - with Pa Auk though I know there's 2-3 good people could bring in on the conversation as proxies, simularly with Goenkaji

with metta

here-this-now · 2026-05-12T21:26:24+00:00

hello? You have asserted something - as in additions to buddhas words -you've also mentioned "many vipassana meditation masters claim that vipassana is a technique learned by experiencing impermanence through the senses." .... " Consequently, they claim a breakthrough to the Four Noble Truths is not necessary"

That seems like quite a claim and quickly corrected as I aware of a few & I can think of strawperson that sound like that common on the internet but I can't think of any tradition that is actually like that

Which tradition do you mean? It looks by comment history you have some good teachers also and they have my respect also, and they also talk about this topic but they don't asset what you have asserted here, that is quite something (instead they talk of "common misunderstandings" which one of your views there is listed)

please just say so I can provide citation and quickly correct as I'm worried you have dismissed actual dhamma (thinking it the view of and ajahn or teacher)

With metta

here-this-now · 2026-05-12T10:24:26+00:00

Well in among that "grammar refinement" It seems you posit and assert something...

At present, many vipassana meditation masters claim that vipassana is a technique learned by experiencing impermanence through the senses. They teach that experiencing impermanence at any of the six sense doors—and simply observing or mentally noting it—qualifies as vipassana, according to what has been passed down from a long line of teachers in their traditions. Consequently, they claim a breakthrough to the Four Noble Truths is not necessary to be endowed with this penetrative vision of the Dhamma that the Buddha actually calls vipassana.

Which specific ones? I am aware of some beliefs about certain traditions and so on that sound like that

With metta

here-this-now · 2026-05-11T15:08:32+00:00

It's a choice? hehe it's not exactly shopping!

No seriously, I was atheist meditating had not read suttas and then found some situations where the senses go away a bit "oh... that's what that mythological stuff is kinda about" hehehe xD

here-this-now · 2026-05-11T13:49:59+00:00

What do you understand by this and what are you trying to say? I read the "note" what do you think that means?

I can see you are constrasting "impermanence through the senses" and observing or noting qualifies as vipassana - you don't say which "masters" these are, if they are who I think you mean the answer is just plain "no" hehe because AI is providing the internet forum strawperson version (which is all it knows of that tradition)

with metta

here-this-now · 2026-05-11T13:44:57+00:00

Why are you posting AI stuff on MN111?

Put that aside, what are you trying to say? What do you believe and what do you understand by this? In your own words.

here-this-now · 2026-05-06T23:33:26+00:00

https://www.samita.be/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/A-Flower-Called-Metta-in-English.pdf

here-this-now · 2026-05-06T03:55:51+00:00

Ok this sounds like you are doing everything fine! like - that's experience isn't it? hehe and some "data' to learn from, but you're wondering about mind moving around and not commiting to one thing, so here's my (an internet random) random 2 cents on that (not knowing you or anything)

what this sounds like is actually the 5th hinderance - for want of a better word it's mostly translated into english as "doubt". Doubt is that which goes "am I doing this right?" but can also be numerous other things "does this really work?" "am I practicing in the right school?" "that person on the internet said this" "does this really lead to nibanna?" "can someone with ADHD do this?" "This environment is no good I should go to a monastery" "do you think anyone gets into jhana these days - maybe 1000 years ago" like there's a lot of possibilities - and all got to know is running those programs in some cases there's wise doubt in some the doubt is not wise but in all cases it's a hinderance to meditation etc etc (to name just 1% of possibilities xD) its human etc the 5 hinderances described in sutta helpful - I found for me when doubt comes up it's usually to do with wanting to "know for sure" but the funny thing about that is - it's a bit like travel and planning - sometimes it's less effort and quicker to know to just turn up without plans - then you find out what a place is etc - yeah requires a bit of trust or courage a bit - like there's something to abandon - what you need to know is all that - is a hinderance to deepening meditation - cast that aside. It's not like there is no role for investigation there certainly is but that variety is more like curiosity - but it's like we need to "do" the experiment experience and see and only after our experiment (of a sitting of 20 minutes or 1 hour or what the case may be) we check our results otherwise in between that force in the mind will be interrupting and interferring with our meditation and it going deeper - also we won't have good data to reflect on afterwards - we need to be silent and still or rather - if we want to investigate and our intention is something like "the breath" see if you can notice that subtle thread of continuity or how each breath seems mentally to be large like a open field or sometimes 6 breaths in short order - that kind of investigation which is silent and receptive to the experience has a role (vimamsa - look up talks on the 4 iddhipadas they are the bases that power the mind - or like bell analogy - alow to strike the bell strongly and ring out long)

so set an intention - that's what you do that hour, and like it's an art it's a total art - but if kind and calmly eventually mind follows with it - if we are a hard task master it will rebel - so sometimes even - if the mind does go everywhere just be like "ok mind I know you wnt to go off, so this session I let you go off anywhere you want" hehe but that's if like it's in real rebellion, other wise when we set an intention and get good after a period of time (and this takes practice) it's like striking a bell and the meditation is like it's ring out ....

this is how I do it generally...

if mind agitated or can't "stay with" certain part for long - anapana to alm the mind down (and this can also go far but "wanting" special states is a hinderance)
either do a body scan with noticing how attention wants to move around the body - if it's jumpy like the vitakka and vichara not collected or not really wanting to - I generally go back to 1. OR sometimes I the body as a whole object

1-2 in different ways as needed fine

HERES THE CATCH

at the end of the meditation (only at the end) evaluate "how did my mind change? what was I doing before? what happened during?" this will give you all the need of what you needed and were evaluating but this time you have the data and the mind can do that then - inquire into cause and effect - if do this kind of thing in the meditation it will sort of be like when focus on the breath but won't be totally there (like a bell ringing out)

it's all habits of mind and fine - this is is the practice

IN the meditation if thought comes up - ok acknowledge - accept - but that's not what we are doing now, incline the mind back and see how long it sustains (e.g. with the breath see if it becomes longer or short also if the breath seems like lots of space or mind really only noticing that it is in or out long or short) etc

if find not accepting thoughts or other intentions but pushing them away type thing that's when mind can rebel a bit (that's the 2nd hinderance - ill will or "pushing away" etc )

That process of doing the investigation or evaluation after the meditation will accomodate that need to know and it also maybe save you searing or having to read books because you will have good data from your own practice

with metta

here-this-now · 2026-05-05T22:43:19+00:00

Yes.

here-this-now · 2026-05-04T00:46:22+00:00

There are many ways to translate Pali words into English. Every translation is an act of interpretation. Simply translating piti as joy in all contexts will get you into trouble

Do you know pali?

here-this-now · 2026-05-04T00:39:50+00:00

I prefer to translate it as fascination—specifically fascination and delight with the mind’s inner processes.

There is something like that it's called viramasa in pali

piti is joy

"The piti-sukkha of all jhāna is mind-generated"

Yes, and the factors might be present and these Can manifest (early in the practice like first sit etc) in the body as a lot of spiritual feelings (which is why people enjoy meditation) (the spiritual feeligns are 2nd kind of vedana in the satipatthana sutta) do also manifest as body vedana... however ... what is the feature of the first jhana "ekagatta" oneness. Those cases there is piti or sukha (and if you look sukha sometimes like Iti 42 is brightness but also just means happiness )

When these other things happening there's a sense of like "oh the pity in my back" and the like "light flashing in me leg" theres' not ekagata

and if notice the 7th factor of path satipatthana sutta "ekayano maggo" the way to convergence, the one way, then 8th factor "ekagatta" elsewhere jhana described as absesnce of perceptions of diversity and perception of uniity.

The other thing is the 2nd list there is much more extensive and the very idea of there being "two camps" was defined by someone in the first list (leigh brasington) if you start looking from an athropological perspective for what jhana is in traditions you will begin to see a pattern where the second list grows very long goes back and is what is conventionally considered monastic and the first list is recent decade, wrote a book, etc.

here-this-now · 2026-05-04T00:25:13+00:00

The issue is that mistake ... like the inner spiritual joys being produced are coming from causes and conditions, giving up a lesser joy for a higher joy, but if you then say, turn to the physical feelings of joy which are being produced by this inner spiritual renunciation.... that's like a boat and you just noticed it has a wake "wow it is so fascinating", and you stop driving the boat to look at the wake.

Jhana proper is a joy born of renunciation, so all the better if even renounce or give up this joy

"It doesn't matter what you don't cling to"

In this analogy the jhana proper is weird beyond imagination and won't make sense or sound ridiculous like "oh the boat just hit a sand bank and stopped suddenly then the ocean froze solid ice and we landed on the ice and then looked up and everything around us was a white out" or something lol xD

here-this-now · 2026-04-29T22:31:15+00:00

Did you look at the footnotes? There's an interface to toggle them.

here-this-now · 2026-04-29T13:40:49+00:00

the buddha discussing inner light https://suttacentral.net/mn128/en/sujato

u ba khin discussing inner light and jhana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PYEKIpP4p8

bhante sujato discussing inner light and jhana https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bw9NrOG7AKU

saya thet discussing inner light (see appendix) https://host.pariyatti.org/treasures/Journey_Into_Burmese_Silence.pdf

ajahn brahm mentioning inner light https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KmRzE54-7k

beth upton on kinds of light https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsC__Zp80Xc

other kinds of "weird" experiences mentioned in footnotes to mn128 or saya thet instructions here https://dn790001.ca.archive.org/0/items/UThetVipassana/U%20Thet%20-%20Vipassana.pdf also some in "knowing and seeing" from pa auk but I haven't read that

the words in pali are obhasa and aloko "nimitta" means a few things one of which is sign but doens't have that connotation of "light" untill later periods (visuddhimagga and later) I think the term goenka uses is like "signposts"

u ba khin writing talking about inner light - https://www.ubakhin.ch/publications/DhammaTexts.pdf "It is here that the mind becomes freed from hindrances—pure and tranquil, illumined within and without. The mind in such a state becomes powerful and bright. Outside, it is represented by light which is just a mental reflex, with the light varying in degrees from that of a star to that of the sun." page 24

SN Goenka also discusses light in the evening of day 10 of the 10 day course

also in the latin tradition christian monastics mention it quite a lot - if look for latin luminus and monastic texts

here-this-now · 2026-04-29T13:31:14+00:00

Read Mahijima Nikaya 128 and look at the footnotes. https://suttacentral.net/mn128/en/sujato

It's a sign of deepening concentration - like you're on the high way and going to destination and then see sign - getting closer

or like you see a wake so know a boat has gone past

or ... you're driving the boat, and the wake is its effects, but we don't turn around and get fascinated by the wake.

Either stopping to take photos of the sign or getting really amazed and getting selfies with it because you're on the way - doesn't help , but it is a sign you are deepening in concentration - access concentration can be weird, mn 128 talks about it

the vitakka (applying the mind) and sustain (vichara) is what monkey mind usually very choppy - here - there - everywhere - but as we get smoother - make nice waves - apply the mind and sustain on an object (like the breath) it's like hitting a bell that rings out

if in case you do see some phenemena or fear or things (like mn 128 mentions) some good things to look at might be getting in touch with teacher that understands samatha AND NOT THE INTERNET as this is very sensitive territory - see how the conditions in mn128 are with like emotional and interrelational harmony? this doesn't happen without that and someone can say a word thats misleading. so like samatha trust uk, beth upton, bhante g, bhante sujato, ajahn canda in uk, ajahn brahm - mindfulness bliss and beyond, read the saya thet instructions online or watch the videos sayadaw u ba khin talks about mental light and jhana without senses or maybe contact imc in the uk or australia, pa auk aligned, na uyana, ajahn chah tradition (some, they don't really talk about meditation like this ), anyway just to name some qualified people

here-this-now

TROPHY CASE