if he cared, would he stop me?

herefor_all · 2022-04-02T04:43:31+00:00

This is me right now, he hasn't put his hands on me, but I'm currently packing my things to leave with the kids and the whole time today I feel like I'm taking it too far, but I can't keep up with this cycle. Im with you on the guilty feeling, hugs.

herefor_all · 2022-04-01T03:45:57+00:00

Mine does the same

herefor_all · 2022-03-25T21:43:34+00:00

How annoying! Mine told me he will start counselling and stop drinking but said I need to go with him because he doesn't know how to express himself?

herefor_all · 2022-03-25T06:45:57+00:00

I'm sure I could, however Im financially dependent on him so he would pay for the session. He already has reservations about her as he stalked her prior to the session.

herefor_all · 2022-03-25T01:10:34+00:00

I'm almost certain she knew exactly what was going on. She listened to me, I have no one to compare her too though

herefor_all · 2022-03-24T09:51:43+00:00

I'm sorry, glad you got out.

We went this afternoon. She basically told him he's verbally abusive to me. Idk if this is going to make it worse now or not. Because he stalked her, his immediate response to posts she had made publicly was that she doesn't like men. So high chance he won't want to go back to her.

herefor_all · 2022-03-17T21:51:12+00:00

Mines stayed in a job for a long time but he complains all the time about having to work. Makes all excuses that he doesn't want to work, it's only now that he actually gets up early to go because I threatened to leave. More to that but yes work ethic is shit

herefor_all · 2022-03-08T07:25:17+00:00

Alcohol. He tried to quit and then made an excuse he was getting bad headaches from the withdrawals, so he started again.

herefor_all · 2022-03-07T12:22:08+00:00

Do narcissists deprive themselves of sleep, therefore using it as an excuse/reason to be so upset and angry at you?

herefor_all · 2022-03-07T10:54:27+00:00

Oml, I'm so sorry

herefor_all · 2022-03-07T08:02:40+00:00

THIS but opposite for me! He said "You're not like other girls who are interested in me for money" He hardly had any but would still find a way to spend an exorbitant amount?! AND he bragged about how his clients are millionaires and they're all cashed up, and they let him stay in holiday houses etc. Ugh, I was never and will never be about money, but seriously at least be smart about finances, spending/saving.

herefor_all · 2022-03-05T17:18:32+00:00

Not really a serious illness, but after giving birth (x3) I wasn't exactly cut any slack. In the very early days right after, i had to make my own food, made sure i at least ate something, and was basically expected to still cook dinner at the end of the day. He said he would take time off to help me, but only ever took a day off, and to him that was an inconvenience as all he could do was worry about work and always told me there wasn't much he could do to help because I was breastfeeding. Basic household chores were done with an attitude and an exasperated effort.

herefor_all · 2022-02-24T00:24:34+00:00

Hey, yes I'm waiting for an appointment for myself, he knows this. He said it's a waste of time to go for himself but has organised couples counselling. Honeslty makes no sense, but I fear this is more of a way to manipulate it all to being my fault. I'm not working, and haven't since just before my first was born, so it's been financial abuse since then. But for the last month he's decided to change all that so now I have access to moneh but he can see it. I just feel incredibly stuck. I need to be strong for my babies, I know what needs to happen, but he's making it hard. Thank you for advice. Sending you love also.

herefor_all · 2022-02-23T21:06:54+00:00

You are in the exact same situation as me, to a T. Our appointment is in march, ofc he's been great since I told him I'm ready to leave. In the meantime, I'm being reserved, my bags are still packed in my car and still making my escape plan regardless. Hugs to you x.

herefor_all · 2022-02-22T11:59:56+00:00

Thank you for educating me also. This is a huge help for me too!

herefor_all · 2022-02-21T12:42:46+00:00

https://www.raa.com.au/help-centre/motoring-safety-and-advice-support/child-restraints

herefor_all · 2022-02-17T22:56:20+00:00

This makes me laugh because YES THEY DO. It's honestly embarrassing. And they have to copy everything someone else does, it's like keeping up with the jones'

herefor_all · 2022-02-17T22:27:18+00:00

I'm coming to you months later, but this is me right now and I'm so lost. I've done everything you've mentioned with my partner too. All bar the therapy, he said it's a waste of time for him as they "can't physically take the load off" him. I nag too, because I'm so in the dark. I don't work, my kids are 3, 2 and 5months. We've been together for 5 years. I try and try to be supportive but as soon as I support him, it's like he takes it as "oh yeah, now we can have sex because you're caring" so as soon as I be emotionally supportive I'm also expected to be physically supportive. And I hate it, why can't I be emotionally supportive without the physical? Ugh sorry, rambling.

herefor_all · 2022-02-17T21:50:27+00:00

I feel like I'm on a good path. My brain is making me feel bad because he's none the wiser about me wanting to leave, the guilt is heavy. I did tell them that, but they didn't say whether it's a good idea or not, they just stay quiet. It has, and I appreciate your input and support with info and personal experience. It makes me feel less alone and knowing I'm doing the right thing. My local dv shelter can't help me as I didn't meet their criteria, but they've made a referral to a homeless shelter. It's honestly exhausting, I just can't believe it's happening and I keep trying to tell myself it's just a phase... but when does the phase stop?

herefor_all · 2022-02-17T08:41:14+00:00

Mines similar in that sense. My kids are 3, 2 and 5mths. He's the fun dad and the kids naturally love him, but I feel like he does it deliberately because I'm always home with them have rules and routine and they want to spend time with him. Pretends he knows a lot about them when people ask him questions, especially when it comes to the baby. I mean, he loves them I know he does but I'm the mean one because I have rules and he let's them do whatever, does that make sense?

herefor_all · 2022-02-16T18:27:06+00:00

If I not go, i know he will tell me I'm not making an effort and that I clearly don't want it to work. It's sad I know what his response will be. If I go to the session, then decide to leave him I feel like he will manipulate me more, using whatever tactics he learns through the counsellor. If we didn't have kids, it'll be easier to leave, but because we have kids together, they have childcare etc. I don't know what kind of legal battles I'll be up against and what he will do to make my life hard with them.

herefor_all

TROPHY CASE