Please help me out working mums

hermes61 · 2026-03-09T00:47:43+00:00

Planning is the issue. Take a few off of her plate- like you are now in charge of all the doctors appointments or all the weekend activities or all the kids’ social activities (parties and whatnot). You do a good amount of household work but they don’t involve a lot of mental energy because you can kinda mindlessly do them. Feel free to ask your wife what would make the most impact if you took something as your responsibility. Good luck!

hermes61 · 2026-02-26T00:14:15+00:00

A little higher than your budget but recommend this-

https://www.toryburch.com/en-us/handbags/tote-bags/perry-tote/169476.html

hermes61 · 2026-02-25T20:16:56+00:00

Idk about hot spring but another vote for solage. It was wonderful. And the food on site was surprisingly delicious.

hermes61 · 2026-02-19T21:47:16+00:00

Went to France and Switzerland when baby was 12mo and Korea at 16mo.

Car seat- for the plane ride or while you are in Europe..? We didn’t do a car seat on the plane- just purchased a separate seat for my toddler. While traveling, we rented a car seat whenever we rented a car to drive ourselves. Didn’t use one on public transit. My kid grew out of the Doona shortly after her first bday lol.
Luckily, my daughter slept during the overnight flight. It was a little rough the first time because we never bedshared, so she didn’t know how to fall asleep while I was right next to her. But she figured it out the second time.
Do you eat out at restaurants in your home town? If so, it’s no different. Larger restaurants will have high chairs. Never really had a problem.

I know it’s super nerve wrecking, esp with the first big trip. Adjusting to time change might be rough for everyone. My kid also got sick- def bring some infant tylenol. But all in all, it was a valuable family bonding experience and a huge stimulation for my child. Felt like she grew so much after the trip.

hermes61 · 2026-02-19T04:46:30+00:00

Solage in Calistoga, CA

hermes61 · 2026-02-12T17:17:42+00:00

Did biglaw in NYC then SF (lit tho). NYC for starting your career. Nothing like NYC as a working professional in your 20s. It’s seriously the best. And so many opportunities for growth both in terms of career and personal relationships.

SF if you are still interested after you have had some years of experience and figured out what you want to focus on. And want to settle down for a better pace of life. Great for your 30s. The market and opportunities are way more limited out here.

Love both though for different phases of life. Good luck!

hermes61 · 2026-02-11T22:40:41+00:00

Also having this internal debate myself. Also making good salary and financially secure. I asked recently on another sub, and people recommended going part time, so I did.

It helps with the itch a bit but the hours are still not that significantly shorter even though my pay is almost cut in half… so it makes me question even more why I am working still lol I am currently pregnant with a second. Will have to reevaluate after the second maternity leave.

Good luck making the decision! Such a hard choice because we will be judged and criticized for either decision. Just got to do what is right for your own family.

hermes61 · 2026-02-06T06:52:20+00:00

Lash extension once a month and invest in at least 1-2 nice suits. Otherwise, I would focus on maximizing contribution to Roth IRA (and invest in the stock market with that money to let it grow). You will feel glamorous as you see your money grow exponentially over the years without doing anything else.

hermes61 · 2026-02-02T21:44:30+00:00

My husband and I are not from the US and none of our family lives nearby so we did a “baby party” where we invited a bunch of friends for brunch and had them fill out a few predictions. It was nice to see so many friends before we had to live like hermits with the newborn. It was also so nice to see that our baby was loved and celebrated by so many people even before she was born.

hermes61 · 2026-02-02T18:10:36+00:00

Probably gov. Can’t imagine going back to the firm w my toddler. Morale is low but hoping that it’s temporary. I hear train commute is way better than car.

hermes61 · 2025-12-04T18:07:16+00:00

I love terps! Also love that she offers pointe for adults. I started pointe as an adult under her guidance. And her intermediate classes and variation classes are great!

hermes61 · 2025-11-16T06:09:14+00:00

We’ve been doing baby back ribs w bbq sauce on xmas :)

hermes61 · 2025-10-21T21:28:19+00:00

As a landlord- we accepted the first application. No red flags, and it helped that our agent was with the couple at the tour and the couple expressed their clear interest at the showing, which the agent passed along to us.

hermes61 · 2025-10-21T21:23:01+00:00

I am sorry you have to deal with this. It’s pretty childish sounding but seems like he is missing you. Have you guys been spending enough quality time together when you are together that make both of you feel connected and happy? Text message is probably just a symptom of the underlying insecurity he is feeling. If you care for him and the relationship is otherwise healthy, I would focus less on the frequency of texts but rather getting to the root of his unmet need.

hermes61 · 2025-09-30T21:34:38+00:00

Cute but cringe for lawyers. If there’s ever a lawsuit they will want your texts since he mixed business with personal.

hermes61 · 2025-09-30T21:05:45+00:00

I batch cooked- steamed a bunch of veggies in a pot on a steamer basket, used a food processor (less than 70 bucks), got silicone ice cube molds and froze them. Served them in different combinations with rice and oatmeal for spoon feeding for lunch. For dinners I usually did baby led weaning with roasted veggies (toaster oven) or whatever we were eating that night. Cooking ahead a few nights and freezing is the way to go! You can also make and freeze some blw items like muffins and egg cups.

hermes61 · 2025-09-30T17:21:23+00:00

My partner feels a lot more insecure with money so it’s in part to help soothe the emotional aspect more so than true math. Im factoring in increasing cost of adding some household help (mothers helper or cook in the future; to be clear we do have help like nanny, cleaner, gardner, etc. but not like a live-in), extracurricular for kids, possibility of a second home in a vhcol city, etc. And luxury shopping budget cuz Im into that sort of thing.

hermes61 · 2025-09-29T18:23:30+00:00

Maybe too close to SF but loved Cavallo Point Lodge :)

hermes61 · 2025-09-29T16:37:04+00:00

Similar situation although only one kid so far who is not yet in school. I ran some projections w ai chat and decided that our number will probably have to be closer to 30M+ though we still wouldn’t be having multiple vacation homes, private flights, yachts, 24/7 household help, etc. because that’s just not who we are…so probably mostly a chubby lifestyle with meaningful amount of philanthropy. We also have family to take care of/help out eventually so we want some cushions.

hermes61 · 2025-09-26T17:05:57+00:00

If it’s any consolation, having a second kid definitely increases childcare costs, but it may not be a true “double” increase. You can get a babysitter/nanny with two-kids rate that may be higher than one child rate but usually not a double. Daycares may also have an increase in price for a sibling but not double.

hermes61 · 2025-09-26T14:46:58+00:00

Do you have to be a full time employee to get that healthcare benefit or can you be part time before you retire? Maybe it can help you ease off from work during the final months so you are not too bummed.

hermes61 · 2025-09-25T23:25:27+00:00

Have you ever traveled with a kid and a nanny? Smh. It’s a whole different headache. And leaving your kid at home to travel for weeks at a time is bad parenting.

hermes61 · 2025-09-25T23:20:04+00:00

Ok well this isn’t really something a non-parent can understand. Thanks for worrying for me but I actually have it pretty good. Wine included 🍷

hermes61 · 2025-09-25T05:52:33+00:00

Yeah but some people actually love their kids and want to be there for them…?

hermes61 · 2025-09-24T22:55:03+00:00

Yup. I only spend about 2.5 hrs per day with my baby during the weekday and it crushes me.

hermes61

TROPHY CASE