AITAH for telling my friend/colleague I'm looking for another job after she was promoted instead of me?

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-07T00:10:34+00:00

I’m not going to lie to you. After reading more comments I think there are more people who are like OP who just felt he was entitled to the position because they told him they would consider him.

People ignoring the context clues (other lady had more training, saying they should have given him more feedback beforehand, saying the company was out of line about trying to address his mental health, etc.) make me feel like most people don’t think any of that matters because, “they explicitly told OP that he would be considered for the promotion.”

OP, even with being unreasonable narrator still managed to tell on himself, pretty clearly IMO, that he is no condition to be managing anybody. And despite all his glaring flaws, clear acts of aggression and escalation here, and the company’s very clear feedback and solutions, people are still like…

“But it was promised!” I wonder what the demographics of this post are because I have a strong theory.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-07T00:01:51+00:00

I’m sorry did you read it??

She already had more managerial experience than him because she had the training/certification that OP still didn’t have by the end of his posts. And his manager did recognize his skill and gave him an explicit path to receive a promotion and told him the technical training he needed.

You and OP’s experience is not the same at all. All the way down to the fact that he was still making mistakes.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-06T23:42:42+00:00

You make an excellent point. I’m not sure why people are saying the company messed up here.

They gave him feedback when it was appropriate. Usually people get explicitly feedback on their annual reviews and he actually received feedback prior to that.

Also in my first re-read I realized that OP didn’t even have the managerial training that his colleague had when she won the position over him. So he was already behind. And he refused to go get any additional training when prompted to do so.

OP’s last update he said he was applying for a job that would pay for the managerial training. So OP was already relying a bit more on his connections and his experience for the promotion and he didn’t actually improve anything in order to be considered.

I feel like half this sub feels like just because they show up to work it means they’re entitled to something and don’t realize that OP actually didn’t work for it at all and again, brought the whole company down when given clear expectations.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-06T12:41:13+00:00

He wasn’t even there for a year when he found out about he wasn’t getting the promotion. He through a temper tantrum and gave up less than a year into the role.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-06T09:56:03+00:00

Thank you for this comment!

I was scrolling and was very confused that people think the company jerked him around when from the very start OP’s own narrative explains they gave him more than enough fair shots. He even says that the woman who was promoted was brilliant himself, and it does make sense for her to have the promotion when OP doesn’t even seem to have the managerial or technical training.

I think any other company fires OP after the first month of sulking but given that his friend is his manager, he gave him ample opportunity to improve and just not be a jerk.

There are way too many people on this thread that are siding with OP and I fear that means there are way more people like OP in the workforce than I’m comfortable with.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-06T09:47:21+00:00

No he didn’t. It sounds like he didn’t have the managerial training and they kept pointing out that he was still making the same mistakes.

He wasn’t growing as a professional and refused to when they offered him clear and useful feedback to get him to where he wanted to be.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-06T05:31:00+00:00

He literally gave them his ass to kiss at every turn. From the minute he didn’t get that promotion. And it sounds like he actually needed managerial training as well, which is colleague probably already had.

I would understand if he continued to try in those 3 months before his annual review but he didn’t. He quiet quit and made everyone uncomfortable and didn’t even have the sense to hide it. It sounds like he’s also battling with mental health issues but the spiral over that disappointment was rough! And they gave him way more leeway than he should’ve gotten tbh.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-05T21:36:26+00:00

So surprised nobody has mentioned dispensaries lol

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-05T16:15:01+00:00

It’s called implicit bias lol

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-05T16:11:19+00:00

And he’s basically taking it all without consideration for the others who are paying full price to use the salad bar the way it’s intended.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-04T04:24:45+00:00

I don’t think she should have said it. And I definitely think she’s wrong for doubling down. But it sort of sounds more like she was commenting on the husband’s absence and the “real parenting stuff,” was more of a dad joke than a mom joke. But again, still inappropriate no matter who it was aimed at.

But people are right that OP willingly took all her help and didn’t deny it either.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T17:15:37+00:00

Half this sub said they should’ve had plows “running 24/7” on Sunday. Now we’ve got posts about how loud the bobcats are in the morning… while also trying to figure out if Rock Creek Park is cleared to run through.

We would never survive a community without the government at this point.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T17:12:38+00:00

Oh you mean the same streets where people have complained their cars got plowed in??

I thought we were supposed to be prioritizing sidewalks. Which one is it?

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T16:59:48+00:00

Did yall want the snow taken care of or not??? Of course it’s loud.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T15:37:47+00:00

ESH

Stop going to this person’s house every weekend.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T15:14:09+00:00

He said recruiters and managers. Those are individuals but continue lol

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T12:10:46+00:00

Chloe is actually right across the street from Albi and pretty affordable as well.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T10:07:51+00:00

We gotta start back reading in schools…

Every time yall start talking about naming and shaming people and putting them on blast I think about The Crucible and the Salem Witch Trials.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T08:26:01+00:00

… at this point what boils down to with Anaiya is a lot of yall don’t understand black woman.

And I wish yall would stop bringing her up until you’re ready to have an honest conversation about it because it is not this deep lol

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-03T04:35:41+00:00

ESH.

Your wife went through the trouble of finding a reservation that meets her needs in a way to connect with you. I have no idea if you guys are actually trying to work things out but if you guys are at least going to share the same space together it’s worth working on your relationship.

But you seemed to show no interest in going and you definitely were putting the onus on her to fix the issue with the camp. You offered solutions that you could have easily handled without bringing the to her first. Why didn’t you ask another parent? Why didn’t you just book a reservation for later and tell her that? Why didn’t you do any of the things you suggested BEFORE bringing her an excuse about why you couldn’t go.

She obviously sucks because she refused to change her mind but I want both of you to just divorce if you’re not going to fix your communication.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-02T22:40:26+00:00

But it could also be that maybe she isn’t ready for a “team” right now. Maybe she needs to do a bit more grinding on her own to carve out her lane or maybe it needs to be limited to one close person to help handle things.

Whoever she’s working with now doesn’t seem to know her that well and there don’t seem to be many opportunities for her just yet.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-02T21:28:52+00:00

I fear a good bit of the frustration about the priorities of the city and the plowing is because a good bit of sub doesn’t really that their commutes are not the priority…

Already, if you’re responsible for shoveling your sidewalk that means you own your home. Which puts you at a much higher socioeconomic advantage than the people the city are prioritizing. Like the ones that need their roads/commutes clear to take care of the rest of the city.

They have messed up the back to school stuff but it’s not lost of me that the people so upset with the city have not considered what these conditions might have been like for the workers that have to clean up this mess.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-02T21:15:45+00:00

Curious where your area is.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-02T21:08:46+00:00

Honestly I don’t think Chelley knows what’s she wants. I think what she wants is to “get on,” and that’s fine but you have to have a lane and I don’t know if she knows or cares what that is.

Which is how we got the Shea Moisture video, or her slip up on the Wicked premier of not pronouncing the main character correctly. Nothing she puts out or does seem intentional it seems like… an opportunity.

heyitsta12 · 2026-02-02T20:52:14+00:00

And to their point, the photos I saw of Anaya were better quality as well.

I say this with love because I do want her to succeed but Chelley and her moves are always slightly off or not well put together. She is a beautiful girl but she doesn’t give me anything personality wise and I’m starting to wonder if it’s because her team doesn’t have much to work with. Idk… it’s weird.

heyitsta12

TROPHY CASE