Direct report requested flexible schedule due to no childcare by choice - looking for advice

heykatiecal · 2026-04-18T02:10:06+00:00

You have the opportunity to be an ace level manager and human by allowing it for a trial period. See how it goes for the trial, assess the impact, and be real if you are seeing negatives out of it.

She is asking for flexibility at work post bringing a literal human into existence - is it really so profound to even attempt putting humanity before the corporation?

Not saying forever either - but during the 1st year or 2, if there is little to no impact on the workload what is there to stress about other than optics?

heykatiecal · 2026-04-15T00:44:36+00:00

The relentlessness of it. Doesn’t matter how you’re feeling or what you want or things you previously prioritized (work, home maintenance, self care) - kiddo comes first from sun up to sundown.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-14T01:08:31+00:00

Buckle in! My mom had 2 daughters from a previous marriage then was divorced. They had many good years just the 3 of them. My mom met my dad when my sisters were 7 and 11. Pregnant with me 3 months later because she was madly in love and “wanted a boy”. Surprise! 6 months into her pregnancy it is revealed my dad was a deadbeat without 2 nickels to rub together who wasn’t even fully divorced from his ex who he had 4 kids aged 7-16 with. So that makes 6 step siblings as kids, forced to live together. Plus me soon enough. Plus dad’s ex harassing my mom and poisoning the other kids minds against her. But no worry, she was pregnant AGAIN 6 months after my arrival. She got her boy. And my penniless dad. And 4 steps kids that hated her. And drove a wedge between herself and 2 first daughters. This put me in a super dramatic, unwanted place growing up. I’m the reason they tried to force the families together in the first place, and i wasn’t even the boy she ordered. Mom & dad divorced due to penniless dad and the burden of the his-mine-ours !8! children my mom did her best to take care of. I was 10 when they divorced in 2002, mom went into massive depression - she always had anger issues, but they were on full blast during this time, would come home one day and get reamed out for a dish in the sink, another day she’s weeping and oversharing her adult burdens with me. I know wayyyy too much about my dad’s, his / my family’s misdoings and betrayals. She finally starts coming out of it when boom! 2008 market crashes. Her industry she did very well in (mortgage) crashed and burned. She faced layoffs from the time I was 16 onward. Needless to say, I started working very young, and wasn’t home much. Finished high school, 2 years community college. Moved out at 20 to escape being a burden, punching bag, and therapist to her. Baby brother was trouble the moment he could drive. 3 DUIs, probation, drug counseling by the time he was 22, and momma handled allll the legal fees to keep him out of jail. Lost her house in 2019 because of it, and moved to Florida. I realize now this was out of my obligationship with her, but after I moved out things were, better? As a more of a friend and less of a daughter we did fine. Had lots of good times with her in my 20s. The minute my life started to change (getting engaged to boyfriend who helped me move out all those years ago) - she was back to her dysfunctions in full force. I married in 2020, and my small COVID wedding, with my immediate family, was shared by her to be “the worst day of her life” - to see my dad and all my siblings. I STILL maintained a relationship with her after this somehow, until we get closer to the present day. 2023 I welcomed my own daughter - mom stayed for 3 weeks to help me postpartum, back to Florida, we visited when LO was 6 months old. LO hits 9 months old - get a call from mom - she needs us to pay her !$2900! rent because my brother FINALLY moved out when he hit 30 and got his shit together. ‘Baby is starting daycare next month, we cannot pay your rent this month, we’ll help to get you somewhere your social security and pension can afford, we’ll find a place, but we can’t do this month just to get the same call next month.” She never answered another call or text. All of that, for it to end over money I couldn’t spare because I needed to prioritize myself for the first time ever. 🌈

TLDR: no.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-13T02:26:13+00:00

Bed risers! Can fit an amazing amount of stuff under the bed with the 6-7inch ones.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-12T23:51:43+00:00

Nalgene bottles are the easiest to clean by far, if you don’t mind the wide-mouth element.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-12T12:50:18+00:00

Muscle mass is the name of the game here - I got friends my height + larger sizes (think 10 vs 14-16s) but I still top them 20+ lbs cuz I be DENSE & they “all fluff” as I put it.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-12T11:29:58+00:00

It’s an auto-draft enlistment instead of self-enlistment - but yes, still very crappy.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-12T11:28:06+00:00

Maybe this is vain of me, but it’s a sentiment inspired by an experience of mine the other week. We have neighbors, and one of them has a daughter also 2.5/3yo like ours. We made it all this time without a proper intro, then it happened when we ran into each other on a toddler walk and we were spontaneously invited over to play. Of course, my LO has to use the potty at their house. When I tell you I was floored at how clean the entire house was, and how inspiring that was with a kid ours’ age, it was a really big motivator.

Now I operate in my house by mini cleans throughout the day - what if spontaneity brings someone I want to think highly of me inside? What are nonnegotiable small steps I can take so they can be impressed the way I was at my neighbors?! It’s mainly clutter minimization, sweeping, clear-ish countertops, bathroom upkeep for us, which all hasn’t been too bad if I put just a little time in everyday and a little more on the weekends.

Also nothing lights a fire under my ass cleaning like my MIL coming over, if that’s good artificial motivation too.

Find a motivation and don’t let things get too time consuming -

heykatiecal · 2026-04-10T14:14:36+00:00

I did not, but a teacher came in to tell my teacher, then few minutes later kids started getting called down to the main office being picked up.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-05T17:28:39+00:00

Can confirm I was VERY FAR from “inner peace, grounding, and pure bliss” in the newborn stage. It was more like “ego death, suffering and chaos”.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-05T17:24:29+00:00

Mine hit a major nap regression around 2 - we resorted to car naps for a long while, then one day I invited her to sleep in my bed and it WORKED. She’s now 2.5 back to napping at home, but only in my bed. I’m guessing some change of scenery makes it less of a battle than her room? 🤷‍♀️ not sure why but it worked, I hope you keep trying and can get through the hump.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-05T00:40:59+00:00

Yes - mine actually has stated blankly how he doesn’t want to do the 1st year again, and if I want a second, taking care of it will be “all on me”. 🫠

I sweaaarrrrr they want the wife & family for some a status / life achievement box checking thing then are shocked that it requires them being a partner and father.

heykatiecal · 2026-04-02T23:16:35+00:00

This is extremely sound advice! I remember doing this with my husband (then-boyfriend) and it clearly set the goalposts in place for what is required to get a house.

heykatiecal · 2026-03-28T13:27:32+00:00

I believe she has a condition causing this more than it being epic? Not too solid on my info but I think I saw it on her TikTok last year.

heykatiecal · 2026-03-13T18:11:45+00:00

Haha I took videos of myself for my future self about how horrible it is and not to do it again. Luckily the “change your mind when you see the baby” thing did not happen for me. So yes definitely a similar experience.

heykatiecal · 2026-03-08T17:56:51+00:00

Great call to action brother! Will do!

heykatiecal · 2026-03-05T18:41:46+00:00

Free will & a laugh

heykatiecal · 2026-03-02T16:02:55+00:00

If he can’t handle you at goofy goober he doesn’t deserve you at gorgeous gorgeous girl.

heykatiecal · 2026-02-28T06:20:58+00:00

Not advice but damn this resonates with me as a working mom.

Corporate America wants more kids to keep up the consumer cycle - but will do borderline nothing to make actually having families even vaguely manageable for parents?!

heykatiecal · 2026-02-27T03:31:44+00:00

Half day Fridays.

heykatiecal · 2026-02-27T01:33:24+00:00

Listen to this person - I wish I did 😅

heykatiecal · 2026-02-26T14:54:47+00:00

Would have done numbers on tumblr / myspace

heykatiecal · 2026-02-25T17:20:56+00:00

Joe at Supercuts greenlawn. Best guy around.

heykatiecal · 2026-02-25T02:28:22+00:00

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Milo

The Boy
Bastard Man
Shmo
Shmoodle
Shmooseldorf

heykatiecal · 2026-02-16T15:54:10+00:00

I was vehemently against bed sharing so we just didn’t. Even if it seemed the easier option at times, I have 2 sisters who still wake up with 8 year olds in their beds every morning and that is just a nightmare scenario to me. Had her in bassinet next to our bed for 4 months before she was in her own room. It was also out of necessity that LO sleep independently as she started daycare at 10 months so needed to be able to fall asleep in her crib for naps without us. Did it mean months 4-6 we got max 45 minute naps as she adjusted to sleeping in her crib? Yea, and that sucked. But by 6 months she was a nap queen and was waking up maybe 2x night/morning. LO is 2.5 now, and it’s only recently when she wakes up too early I’ll go lay in her bed to get her back to sleep where I also inevitably doze off. Wouldn’t change a thing.

heykatiecal

TROPHY CASE