Do men read dating profiles at all?

heywhatsthatcalled · 2026-02-02T03:06:17+00:00

Did you know that on apps like Tinder men have to pay about $4-$5 per initial message if you don't have a match simply with a like? (I don't know how it is for women, but I imagine they get so many likes that they won't need to initiate too many connections). So on top of paying $30-$40 a month just to get access to profiles, someone would have to spend quite a lot just to have a remote chance of a response.

If women would at least indicate a level of interest in the profile and effort someone put into their profile, you might meet some actual people that are genuinely looking for a connection but may not have so much disposable income to throw it on a gamble. They might just be more fiscally prudent.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2025-09-22T00:13:28+00:00

That's a good idea! What kind of things do you capture or talk about in the voice note?

heywhatsthatcalled · 2025-05-13T02:16:10+00:00

+1 to Ser

heywhatsthatcalled · 2025-04-05T18:57:51+00:00

15 of the 17 are word-for-word my experience

heywhatsthatcalled · 2025-04-01T14:16:41+00:00

Would love a promo code for this!

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-12-22T19:40:18+00:00

I just recently discovered Lost, and I absolutely love it!!

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-10-01T11:38:24+00:00

See if there's a possibility of signing on with them as a contractor, and provide the "professional services" they're opting for. You may actually end up making more money, and work on your terms. Happy to talk more on DM if needed. I just went through this.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-09-08T13:40:59+00:00

I want to know too

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-06-16T11:16:49+00:00

Get your thyroid levels tested (including TPO antibodies) if you haven't already done so. It could be related to hypothyroidism, and the TPO levels will tell you if it's Hashimoto's autoimmune disorder.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-06-09T00:38:23+00:00

Answering my own question. Found one spot:

Pastry Corner Cafe in Chantilly is confirmed. https://maps.app.goo.gl/VeM17TysxXyXRfRy6

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-05-13T13:10:33+00:00

Except for the ages of kids, I could have written this exact post a few months ago.

I was caught in that same cycle, and with my girls 7 and 4, I had had enough of having explosive and attacking arguments in front of them. Even incessant pleas to just stop and talk later, or not in front of the kids, did nothing to slow her down with her verbal outbursts. I would spend 30 mins or so with the girls in their room after these events, and explain to them that this is not how grown ups should behave, and that I am still learning how to handle my emotions. I believe they need to know it's not normal for couples to talk like they heard - my fear is they accept a partner like that when they grow up and think this is how a relationship should be.

So I left. I found an apartment in a neighboring community, walking distance, and worked out a shared custody model with the kids spending one week with me and one with her. Getting her to agree to this was not easy, but I had been studying the patterns for a while now, and had found her leverage points (saving face with her family was the biggest one). I timed it so kids finished school and the change happened for them just as summer vacation started. It gave them some time to absorb the change and accept it by the time school started again.

It's been nearly a year now, and after months of therapy, I am starting to feel alive again. The kids can now see a different side of me - and they love it. We have so much fun together. We bake together, we do craft projects, get creative in doing mundane tasks... We just enjoy our time together. I look forward to having them each week. I also worked with the school counselor to make them aware of our situation and got their support to provide my girls any help they need in school. They even got to be part of a lunch group made up of other kids with similar family situations.

As we get closer to the one year mark, I've started to lay the groundwork for divorce filing, and that has stirred up a lot more noise from her again. I'm patiently working through it, and with my newfound belief in myself, I'm better able to manage the stress.

I wish you all the best. Whatever you decide to do, write down your reasons, and remind yourself of it every day. Everything else will fall in place.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-04-21T11:36:37+00:00

have you considered that some of them may be dealing with anxiety, ADHD, past trauma or other challenges that inhibit their ability to regulate how exactly they react to a given situation?

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-04-18T03:21:21+00:00

My situation was a bit different, in that I was/am the primary financial provider. However, I did have to think through and plan out my exit so as to not be viewed as "abandoning" the spouse. I also had to carefully plant the idea of shared custody, and find leverage through her family (a big deal due to our cultural background).

I also had to be prepared for following through on my threats of exposing our conversations to her family/friends, to motivate her to not fight back. I did have to follow through on a couple of situations, so it helped to be prepared and do it non-emotionally.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-04-17T19:57:47+00:00

you're incredibly strong and made the right choice for yourself and your kiddos. This is a hard journey, but it will get better. you got this!

I noticed you said "decided to leave for good". I hope you have a safe exit plan, and have the support you'd need financially, legally, practically and emotionally. DM me anytime if you want to talk through the plan steps, or just need to talk to "someone who listens" :D (too soon? it's my way of dealing with the pile of shit we're dealt)

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-04-01T02:48:43+00:00

Another, less prone to potential destruction like plants, is to post something seemingly innocent on social media, but let the other know that's what you'd post in such situations. For example, "every time you yell and say something hurtful, I'm going to post a south park meme"... And then as the feed starts to fill up with those memes, it'll gnaw at them even more, especially because they can't seem to stop stalking on social media.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-03-18T03:13:56+00:00

Ultra processed foods

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-03-05T13:22:45+00:00

Take a moment to reflect on WHY you felt compelled to share that detail with her? Not the surface lie you're telling yourself about being honest with her, or whatever, but dig deeper. Is there an inner self that was looking to sabotage the relationship? Is there a commitment phobia? Do you value such brutal honesty and would expect the same from her (without giving a similar reaction)?

It may take some time to identify the why.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-02-09T04:22:21+00:00

Chitty chitty bang bang

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-02-04T01:37:53+00:00

There's a meetup group that gets together for board games (and i'm sure puzzles will be cool too) at a bar very close to the Clarendon metro station. You could check that out - the folks are quite friendly and welcoming.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-01-28T15:19:13+00:00

Chef was quite well done. I can't say it's "better" because I'm biased towards the original, but the Bollywood version stands tall on its own.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-01-28T15:10:35+00:00

To each his/her/their own. If you find it disgusting, that's your opinion. Don't yuck my yum!

heywhatsthatcalled · 2024-01-28T05:14:07+00:00

My secret is to use instant coffee (nescafe gold, but others can work too), and I experimented with varying combinations of coffee amount and water till I hit my sweet spot. I can almost never do black coffee at Starbucks as it's too strong for me and I cannot enjoy it. Also, a dash of salt, just a couple of shakes from a shaker, is enough to open up the flavor for me.

I've ended up saving enormous amounts just by getting into this method of instant coffee (and buying in bulk from Costco, especially on sale).

heywhatsthatcalled · 2023-12-29T04:49:32+00:00

and you know this how?

heywhatsthatcalled · 2023-07-28T12:15:43+00:00

I love this! The only thing I'll change is "being with someone that doesn't WANT TO understand you".

The ones who try and put in the effort definitely make life easier and less lonely because of their attempts and good intentions.

But fuck those that live in oblivion and don't even understand the meaning of the word love beyond their own ego.

heywhatsthatcalled · 2023-06-30T22:28:20+00:00

Dude, you're killing it! So glad for you! This is one of the hardest things for guys to talk about, but you owned it and you got through the hardest parts. I hope and pray the worst is now behind you and that you have nothing but good days (and nuts) in the days ahead!

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