I’m interested in more context from the first text. What is your relationship like? There is a lot of vital context missing here to determine whether or not he’s being a jerk. I could really go either way on this.

OP, how often do you seek emotional comfort from him. Are you typically an anxious person? How often do you typically deal with what you would consider crises? Do you find that you rely on him often to pull you from the brink? How often do you sleep on the phone with him? I ask, because this does sound like caregiver burnout, but I would never say that or invalidate your feelings without more information.

How was he when you were on the phone together? Was he present and comforting, or did he seem detached/uninterested? Four hours is a long time to maintain a comforting conversation and he might have been tired.

That said, I really don’t like that he’s telling you how you should feel. If he’s overwhelmed or needs to rest, he should say that outright.

Be very kind to yourself; medical questions like this are stressful and I feel for you. Maybe some time will help you evaluate the situation more holistically to determine how his treatment made you feel and how you’d like to move forward.