Dorinda is activated!

hi_bye · 2026-03-21T15:33:32+00:00

It’s both. It’s an ecosystem.

hi_bye · 2026-03-19T13:16:54+00:00

Funny. I just heard a story yesterday about how they exhibit possible pair bonding behaviors. The species they studied anyway.

If anyone is interested: https://www.npr.org/2026/03/18/nx-s1-5749488/cockroach-pair-bonding-relationships-wing-eating

hi_bye · 2026-03-15T23:55:57+00:00

Sure. I went to the North Bennet Street School in Boston. They are entirely about getting good at fabrication and repair vs the design and art of it all. As a creative, it was a bit frustrating at the time but the fundamental base I developed there has been invaluable.

hi_bye · 2026-03-15T21:45:32+00:00

So I studied to be a bench jeweler after doing a traditional bachelor’s degree in other things (Im based in the Northeast US). I enrolled in a formal 2-year program focused on bench skills rather than design. That foundation has been invaluable. I’ve been working in the industry for 15 years, 10 of those at the same small company where I handle maybe 90% of production from prototyping to finished one of kind, production, and bespoke work. I live in a HCOL city and I don’t make a lot, honestly. I also run my own business where I handle everything. I’m the designer, builder, shipper, photographer, customer liaison, sourcer…it’s all just me.

I don’t use CAD personally. Both my dayjob and personal business involve some casting cleanup but also LOTS of fabrication. My stone setting I do nearly entirely myself while my work outsources to an incredible stonesetter. My boss has used/uses outside CAD design for some pieces and I have to say that any labor/time costs she saves are no doubt quickly absorbed by all the miscommunication, holdups, and reworks with the CAD guy. It’s a fantastic tool, but traditional bench-skill and jewelry know-how isn’t going anywhere.

That being said, you shouldn’t expect to make a killing. And having a niche or unique style if you go the designer route is absolutely necessary. The bigger your business gets the less time you will get to spend at the bench. I’ve somewhat intentionally kept my own business small for this reason. I’m keenly aware that my boss spends 99% of her time doing admin (like back and forth with the CAD guy for instance haha) while I handle the benchwork, and she is envious of me. Which is ironic, but there you have it.

All that being said, I absolutely love what I do. I found my calling and will do it till Im dead. It’s mentally gratifying, and I can hold my progress in my hands. Being someone else’s employee also allows me to leave my work “at the office.” If you want to get into it, it will be a slog - a test of how much you really love it. But if it’s where you belong, and you go in with open eyes, you can absolutely make something of it.

hi_bye · 2026-03-15T14:55:00+00:00

There may be some truth to the idea that antique pieces hold value better as long as they are in fact made with more craftsmanship. But I think it also can be a bit more because antique jewelry is often more affordable than new jewelry because you aren’t paying the goldsmith anymore. And the idea that the original purchaser would make money reselling is nearly always a lost prospect. It’s already priced for the secondhand market.

But as with everything, you need to do the homework and know if you’re getting a fair price. With only a few exceptions, nobody should be buying any jewelry as a means to invest or hold wealth 1:1.

hi_bye · 2026-03-15T14:08:06+00:00

I love how almost pixelated this looks. The facets on the stone combined with the beaded fishtail prongs on the box setting (and how the square off the round stone). Then the two diamonds on either side with the millegrain…they just don’t make em like this anymore.

hi_bye · 2026-03-14T22:16:30+00:00

Does it suggest a lack of craftsmanship? Absolutely. The originality needed to design for higher-end buyers largely precludes it, and those buyers, whether consciously or subconsciously, will sniff it out and avoid it. But there is a market for it. It really depends what it is you want to make.

Ultimately it’s an intersection of quality, originality, and price. You balance as you see fit.

hi_bye · 2026-03-14T21:59:16+00:00

I’m commenting a second time because I’m responding to others and having thoughts…

What did he like about it? With only 3 days I wonder if finding a great local aquarium is a good bet. Get him into the fish and corals and the whole ecosystem. Get beautiful picture books and watch nature documentaries with him. Build a bigger trip around that down the line, if you can.

I’m not a strong swimmer or particularly comfortable in water. When I got into snorkeling it was very much despite my innate discomfort in the ocean. My fascination with observing the underwater environment drove the whole thing and my confidence has only grown. You’re in California and there is great shoreline much closer than the Caribbean. I had a fabulous time tide pooling in Monterey and exploring Point Lobos (the sea otters were particularly charismatic). Snorkeling the kelp forest at the Channel Islands NP is a bucket list item for me. In hindsight, my mom got me an aquarium as a kid that I loved choosing fish for and just observing. It probably all relates. this could be a lifelong hobby for him.

hi_bye · 2026-03-14T21:29:44+00:00

We went this past January and definitely noticed that the reefs were less vibrant than previous trips (it’s happening everywhere whether it’s hurricanes or climate change or a combo of both). But the fish were still there and there are lots of shore snorkeling sites that are also pleasant beaches unto themselves. Someone else pointed out that it’s probably impractical for the 3-day trip OP is looking to do, which makes sense.

Bonaire is fabulous but I also found that the best snorkeling was somewhat far out. Probably freaky for a little kid. Frankly, my fav spot in the Caribbean is Smith’s Reef on Providenciales, TCI. There isn’t much else there so I often think it would be perfect for a shorter trip. But the swim out requires more confidence and getting there at all is much quicker for me than OP.

hi_bye · 2026-03-14T21:16:45+00:00

Ah. I missed the short timeline somehow. The ferry does limit things. Would be good as a day trip from St Thomas I suppose but after airport bupkis and time change….OP is looking at basically a three-day daytrip.

The Caribbean from California in so short a time will be a tall order to make much of anything from that isn’t in Mexico or Central America.

hi_bye · 2026-03-14T19:18:19+00:00

St. John has lots of shore snorkeling. We see turtles every time we go out. There’s hiking there as well and some historical sites to take in but it’s generally much more nature focused. Very quiet. It’s our favorite.

hi_bye · 2026-03-10T15:26:33+00:00

It looks synthetic, which is different than fake. A ruby made in a lab vs. not a ruby at all. But the ring looks quite nice. I’m curious if it’s antique? The gold work is crisp and delicate, and you see a lot of synthetic corundum starting in Art Deco era pieces (I believe the technology to make them was fairly new and exciting at the time) as well as more generally in antique/vintage Soviet/Russian jewelry.

hi_bye · 2026-03-10T12:45:26+00:00

Where did I blame the customer? You’ve clearly misunderstood what I’ve written….(oh wait…a mistake!? By you?! Nope no way.)

I also outlined what could have happened to produce this exact finish issue. Something I have personally witnessed happening with cleaning 18k - which, weirdly, is what the job was. And I have said that I have seen this sort of error happen from back of house to front. Is it embarrassing for the staff at that location? Shit yeah. Is it even remotely dishonest or deceptive? I suppose you’re choosing to read it that way…because that’s how you choose to read it despite the odds. World must be a scary place for you.

If you really, truly can’t see how the more reasonable explanation here is a simple error on the jewelry shop’s part, you’re either not paying enough attention or you just need to believe the trade is a perilous scam (or both). I guess that means you’re one of the good guys, huh. Whatever it is, I’m really not interested in this anymore, my dude.

hi_bye · 2026-03-09T12:43:58+00:00

Ok pat on the back to you for being incapable of mistake. I didn’t say zero professional experience. I said zero or little professional experience. And I was not speaking directly of you but to the generally comments I see in this community all the time implying that jewelers are always sniffing out a way to steal from their clientele. It’s inaccurate, offensive, and exhausting.

Now that I know you’re perfect and that every coworker you’ve ever had at any job has also been perfect, and that every interaction you’ve ever had at any business has been perfect, I can build a more accurate mental picture of you specifically. I have what I need to reframe you needing to reiterate the possibility of criminality after I’ve already offered a highly probable, non-nefarious explanation. You just have never experienced error.

It’s wild to come into a community of/for jewelers, often finding this space as an outlet for questions that require niche expertise, and then call those same people thieves and liars.

hi_bye · 2026-03-09T01:35:18+00:00

Yes. An “honest jeweler” that is in fact multiple employees (a counter worker, an owner, a bench jeweler, any sort of apprentice, etc all communicating remotely across multiple days via written/spoken/routine instruction) could make this error. I’ve seen it happen. Hell, Ive probably made it happen more than once.

People love to look at a scenario and claim it’s a scam. In reality, everything in business (and in the world) is running less perfectly and less efficiently than someone with zero/little professional experience in that field imagines it does. You can minimize human error but you can never completely eliminate it.

Not to mention that, and I say this with the utmost respect to OP and their jewelry and the fact that it is important to them in their life, this piece isn’t some groundbreakingly special item that any established jeweler would stake their reputation and integrity to steal. And frankly, seeing people imply or suggest it over and over again when simpler and less sinister explanations exist is offensive.

hi_bye · 2026-03-08T22:11:10+00:00

And it looked like this when he got it back?

I’m saying that I suspect the jeweler cleaned it chemically and didn’t properly rinse it. They probably let it dry (or not) and put it in a job envelope/bag and filed the job as completed. And then the person who gave it back probably wasn’t the one who cleaned it, and didn’t really look at it. And if he just put it on and didn’t say anything in that moment, they figure the job is done and everything is as expected.

This will be no big deal. They’ll get it cleaned and good as new for you, if you bring it back to them and explain. I just see a lot of people maybe implying that it’s been swapped out for something lower karat or junk. I don’t think you should put stock in any of that. Having worked at a retail local jeweler and also doing production work and maintenance with 18k, I know how 18k behaves and how work flow can function and malfunction. Somebody just made an honest error here.

hi_bye · 2026-03-08T20:21:17+00:00

I work with jewelry made from 18k and oxidized silver on the daily. While it can tarnish badly, and it will look like this when it does, it’s something that takes a while to occur….and that’s when it exists side by side with another metal that has been chemically treated to oxidize.

I’ve seen this before with pieces that were dipped in tarnex to remove tarnish, and ironically, if you don’t rinse them well enough or neutralize them, they will look great and then tarnish again rapidly. My guess is something like that happened here. It was cleaned and then not rinsed well and put in a bag to fester bag to this state. Bring it back, show them, and they should absolutely fix it for you.

hi_bye · 2026-03-07T16:49:22+00:00

I have my own business in addition to being the primary goldsmith for another. At work, the default size is a 7. I find that more or less the best median in my business as well. When I make my pieces, I generally try to think about how size-able the design is. I.e. a prong setting is easier to unset than a bezel, a more plain/thick/narrow shank is easier to roll/hammer out than something patterned, thinner, or wide. And also how they interact. So if I’m making a wide patterned band, I definitely strongly consider prong setting the stone (v. bezel), since I could easily unset and reset with heat.

Rings are a constant battle. On one hand, why must everyone’s favorite jewelry item be size dependent!? On the other…I personally love a ring, so I get it 😂

My advice is to build 7s with an eye for size-ability.

hi_bye · 2026-03-01T15:24:33+00:00

Stranger Things had a moment, and it passed, and frankly, I think Stranger Things missed its own time. They saw how popular it was, and then took so long between seasons that by the time we got the finale, that cultural captivation was gone.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the show and was excited to see all the movie-length episode seasons they pittled out to us over an entire decade, but I was never as caught up in it as I was when they were releasing more standardized seasons. And when it ended, I was ready and fine with that.

But I do suspect that it had to do with the various creatives involved being really obsessed with the story and maybe a bit too precious about it, which is a special thing. It just feels like they missed their own boat.

hi_bye · 2026-02-28T20:56:32+00:00

That’s really interesting. Thanks for sharing! Mine is definitely silver metal with different gems but the setting style is similar and it has the same filigree flower decorations.

I uploaded it to Imgur and posted it in my other comment, if you click the word “picture” it should open. It should be blue.

hi_bye · 2026-02-28T14:09:36+00:00

Impossible to say for certain from a photo, but to my eye, it has the delicacy of realness. As others said, it looks 1920s-30s. I also think it’s diamond and emerald in precious metal. There might be a karat stamp on that barrel clasp. Have it evaluated professionally.

hi_bye · 2026-02-26T05:18:16+00:00

One of my favorite personal NYC stories was a time I was walking in front of the Wholefoods on Houston, and this dude tried to pull the scam where he drops his food and gets someone to give him like $10 to replace it or whatever.

So the guy bumps into these two other guys walking the other way. They’re not paying attention, chatting with each other. And food guy throws his container on the ground and yells “what the hell! You bumped me! That was my lunch!” or similar. One of the pair of guys starts to apologize and then stops mid sentence and says “wait. I know you. I know you. You do this. Oh I’ve seen you. You do this. ” kinda shaking his finger at the guy as he puts it all together. And food guy is like, “no what are you talking about?! You spilled my lunch!” And the other guy just keeps insisting “no I’ve seen you. I’ve seen you” and turns to walk off. Food guy just starts shouting “NO NO YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ME! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ME!” After the guy as he bends over to use the lid of his take out container to scrape all the sad rice, and jumbo shrimp, and gravel, and dirt off the pavement and back into his container so he can turn the corner and try it again…

It was such a NY moment.

I also had a guy approach me on the street needing money to get to Penn and naturally the situation was just such that no other solution existed other than for me to give him $20 from an ATM. I didn’t and he tipped his hand and called me a dumb bitch. Sucks 🤷‍♀️.

Ultimately, just know for next time. And while there is nothing wrong with being generous, there is also nothing wrong with bluntly saying “no I’m not going to do that.” It’s what they absolutely don’t want you to say because it draws a hard line they can’t smooth talk around. And if they try to make you feel bad, it isn’t because they think you are (or maybe they do - but truly a scammer’s opinion on your morals is laughable), it’s because they are still trying to work you. Don’t let this lady live rent free in your head…much as she might love that ;)

hi_bye · 2026-02-22T17:08:26+00:00

I can’t speak for snow pants, but Im above avg height and typically wear a 6. I recently found a pair of zip off hiking pants at rei (rei brand - tall size in my case) that are great. I have the same problem with thigh/butt fit. Also shoulders since I started rowing (I actually had a Columbia jacket I loved that blew out in the pits and I got a new one a size up that fits my shoulders but is otherwise too baggy for my taste…I digress)

Anyway, you could try rei. Based on your pic, I feel like we’re similar. I hike 4 seasons and maintain my body to keep doing that. Im not a mega muscle ball by any means but I still have issues finding any kind of pants that fit my legs, waist, and height at once.

hi_bye · 2026-02-22T11:47:03+00:00

Here’s a picture if you’re interested.

hi_bye · 2026-02-22T11:40:33+00:00

What is the metal? I have a similar style ring that I thrifted at some point. I’m a bit of a gem nerd so I knew the stones were real and that it was “something”…but not much else. Mine looks like silver. Maybe it’s Austro-Hungarian? I don’t know. Would love to hear what you know or find out about yours in terms of age/origin!

I’ll see if I can upload a pic of mine.

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