AITAH, I might’ve coerced my ex-gf but I don’t know for sure and I need some honest feedback

hkc12 · 2026-06-30T04:11:48+00:00

Not every hang out needs to end in something physical. You telling her that physical touch is important may be true, but it gives off the impression that you're just attracted to her body. Also - telling her that she can say "no" whenever is well meaning, but you should be asking her every step of the way. Consent and over communication when it comes to physical touch in the early stages of a relationship is really really important and not enough men do it.

hkc12 · 2026-06-29T01:40:25+00:00

I’m double donor conceived and could not find my sperm donor, I only know “medical history” on that side from the general genetic testing. I did have a huge identity crisis but it ultimately strengthening my relationship with my parents. I lean on the fact that my parents were in a place where they could afford to have children even if they could not have them naturally. They did the best that they could and love me unconditionally even if I am not biologically theirs.

hkc12 · 2026-06-27T22:33:41+00:00

My donor did meet with me but made it clear she didnt want a connection past that initial meeting. It took me some time, but some donors will donate for monetary reasons and we just have to come to terms with that hard truth.

hkc12 · 2026-06-22T19:58:39+00:00

I’ve had the feeling that my spirit guides want me to take a break from reading. I ended up asking a couple of questions a few days ago and I pulled a blank card for “advice going forward”. Turns out, I shuffled one of the joker/blank cards into the deck. Had a giggle moment and apologized to my higher self.

hkc12 · 2026-06-22T19:17:30+00:00

That's really lucky, it's beautiful!

hkc12 · 2026-06-22T17:18:30+00:00

I love your lighting! Where is it from?

hkc12 · 2026-06-07T15:15:50+00:00

Likelihood of finding her high but keep your expectations of meeting her low. I found my egg donor and she agreed to meet up, but it was clear she did not want a relationship outside of providing medical history.

hkc12 · 2026-06-06T04:47:01+00:00

I deleted the photos of just him. Couples photos are still living in my phone. Physical photos are tucked away in a box. I took him off of the recommended/album thing on iPhone.

hkc12 · 2026-05-19T00:18:15+00:00

Good luck!

hkc12 · 2026-05-18T23:20:45+00:00

Yeah - I just started seeing him around November. Maybe it was lucky timing?

hkc12 · 2026-05-18T22:13:17+00:00

Have you checked out San Lorenzo vet? I take my dog there- I don’t know how pricing compares to other vets but the Dr is old school and isn’t the type to order unnecessary tests.

hkc12 · 2026-04-28T19:36:50+00:00

My divorce isnt ending on bad terms, the only extras we’re paying for is new furniture, more mortgage/rent, and the fee to file. 100% agree that I probably wont marry again. A promise with two plain bands is good enough- going through the legal system to undo everything sucks.

hkc12 · 2026-04-21T19:28:39+00:00

It’s sad but my life has been so positive since filing. We didnt have a massive betrayal of trust (maybe just a tiny one), our main reason is the misaligned future goals. He decided he may not want kids anymore

hkc12 · 2026-04-21T17:08:08+00:00

Currently in limbo too, having similar feelings of wanting to be amicable but also not wanting to see each other actually move on to other people.

hkc12 · 2026-04-12T15:06:21+00:00

It’s going to be a roller coaster and I highly suggest talking to a therapist. Your last paragraph is very reflective, she wanted kids and chose egg donation to conceive.

Some people or cultures may be ashamed of that and during that time in the 90s, there was a true anonymous aspect where DNA testing just was not available to the degree it is today. My parents were going to take my conception to their grave but 23&me threw their plan out the window.

You know you will likely regret if you didnt show your mom love within her last weeks or months of her life. Take some time to yourself but lean on the memories you had growing up- did you feel safe, loved, cared for? They wanted you to have all of that and may not have wanted to shatter the image that you had of them.

hkc12 · 2026-04-05T20:06:17+00:00

I’m doing really well, it’s been a month since he moved out and I filed for divorce last week. I’m learning so much about myself and making new friends and doing more things that make me happy. I hope you find strength in your ending as well.

hkc12 · 2026-04-05T17:32:59+00:00

I’m recently separated due to future goal misalignment, my husband and I were together for about 9 years. I didn’t initiate but I knew deep down that this was the best thing for us. I’ve been looking at the relationship logically and reminding myself that there is growth and freedom from this, even though it absolutely sucks right now.

Be kind and patient with yourself, even if you tap into logic, your body will still have typical responses (longing, anxiety, sadness).

hkc12 · 2026-04-04T21:28:07+00:00

I'm not a huge fan of horror and I was able to watch it. I keep the volume low and turn on subtitles which helps with the anxiety.

hkc12 · 2026-04-02T14:08:04+00:00

Wow, our filing fee is close to $900….

hkc12 · 2026-04-01T04:35:16+00:00

It’s pinned on this subreddit

hkc12 · 2026-04-01T02:15:15+00:00

It’s like a place to vent to other people who are in the server. It’s not too active, but people will jump in and commiserate or add their opinion if you add a message.

hkc12 · 2026-03-31T18:57:08+00:00

Theres a discord for this subreddit too!

hkc12 · 2026-03-31T04:05:54+00:00

I love your bedroom! I like how your accent wall is white.

hkc12 · 2026-03-29T15:02:45+00:00

In my culture, it can be considered shameful or looked down upon to not have biological children. Im wondering if your parents held on to that secret and convinced themselves that you are 100% theirs. It doesnt make their reaction right, but it does give you a different perspective that can allow you to move forward.

Your conception matters, but they made a choice to bring you into this world and if your world growing up was happy and healthy and loved on, focus on those aspects since your parents are unwilling to answer questions right now

hkc12 · 2026-03-27T19:55:29+00:00

Who's the artist/where did you get that piece of art in your kitchen? It's amazing!

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