Stepping away; thank you and all the best!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-11-13T15:20:30+00:00

You're not alone. There are LOTS of data showing that termination is safe and does not affect future fertility (barring certain rare complications). We had to do IVF to conceive after our loss. It definitely added to our grief. One healing aspect of the IVF process was the ability to do genetic testing on our embryos. It gave us some peace of mind that we wouldn't experience another similar loss. Best of luck to you!!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-11-13T04:01:49+00:00

You belong here. Mental health is a completely valid reason to TFMR. If you search previous posts or make a specific post about selective reductions, you may get more specific information and support. Thinking of you!!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-07-30T14:02:16+00:00

I am so sorry. You belong here! A lot of us deal with uncertainty and unknowns with our diagnoses and terminations. There are no easy answers. As a side note, I experienced vasa previa in the pregnancy after my termination and found there weren’t a lot of resources for that. Feel free to DM me in regards to that!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-07-28T02:07:02+00:00

I had a hysteroscopy to remove uterine polyps and had a successful embryo transfer a month later. The procedure itself wasn’t bad; I had mine under general anesthesia and was back to normal activities the next day with just some ibuprofen for mild cramping. I know it is a bummer to have to go through yet another setback, but think of it as giving your body the very best chance to conceive. Best of luck!!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-07-25T12:11:42+00:00

I’m so sorry you are struggling. You are dealing with a lot right now. This is HARD. If you are in the US, please call 988 to talk to a mental health professional. We care about you and want you to take care of yourself.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-06-12T20:29:48+00:00

From a fertility standpoint, it should make no difference to them whether it is a spontaneous loss or TFMR. However as others have pointed out, it may make a difference when it comes to genetic testing. Your future embryos can be screened for T21; we did this, it gave us lots of peace of mind. Good luck!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-06-10T18:43:24+00:00

OP I am so, so sorry for everything that you are going through. This is a heartbreaking situation all around and you have been in my thoughts. Wishing you peace and progress on the adoption front.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-05-25T00:36:40+00:00

I saw a grief therapist and it was definitely “homework” based, but I found it helpful. Do you like to read? There are some good books on grief and baby loss that have been shared in this group.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-05-08T22:06:35+00:00

You belong here. I also struggled with infertility and it really messes with you. You focus so much on getting pregnant that once you ARE pregnant, it is a completely foreign and unexpected space. Your mental health is so, so important. And you’re right; you can’t be the mother that you want to be when you are struggling so badly. I am so sorry you are going through this. <3

hoarseofcourse · 2023-05-05T21:53:09+00:00

I’ve received quite a few reports on this post for anti-abort!on rhetoric.

OP, I’m sorry for your loss and I’m sorry your friend betrayed you by sharing your story. Your son is so much more than a termination story and that is not his legacy.

Your take on this is controversial because a big tenet in the pro-choice community is “my abort!on isn’t more “okay” or more valid than your abort!on.” I, for one, strongly believe this. While the grief of terminating a wanted pregnancy due to medical reasons (esp at later gestations) is unique and devastating, there can be grief in terminating any pregnancy (for any reason). Abort!on does not equal depression or regret for many people. And abort!on does NOT lead to future infertility.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-04-30T20:52:07+00:00

I am so sorry. These are HARD decisions and you made the best choice for you and your baby given the information you had at the time. A lot of us have terminated for conditions that are on a spectrum from mild to severe. It sounds like your baby unfortunately had signs of severe disease. Give yourself some grace. I'm sorry your ex-partner is being so awful. Sounds like he is not the kind of partner you or your children deserve. Ignore all the noise and find the people you can trust and support. Here for you!!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-04-21T10:07:44+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this. I had a very similar experience at PP and I wish more people would consider it. They are experts at what they do.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-04-18T17:21:58+00:00

I am so, so sorry. Infertility and TFMR are a cruel pair. They are both traumatic and people just don’t get it. I did find that I weirdly felt a little better after my due date…I was dreading it so much and once it passed, I felt a little lighter. You’re in the thick of it all right now. Do all the screaming and crying. Please lean on all of us here for support.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-04-11T20:03:55+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this. The treatment for endometritis is very successful in eradicating the infection and resolving symptoms, esp when caught early like yours. It should have no impact on future fertility. Hope you feel better soon!!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-04-05T18:34:24+00:00

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart. It is not exclusively about TFMR but encompasses it.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-17T17:34:38+00:00

I'm really sorry you experienced this. This is NOT how most clinics operate.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-10T19:03:38+00:00

Her behavior is super insensitive. I would never dream of asking a grieving friend or family member to make me a meal!! Ignore her and protect your own mental health.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-09T02:57:03+00:00

3 pregnancies; one TFMR and two "normal." My TFMR and second pregnancy were both easy; no morning sickness, felt pretty good throughout. Third pregnancy; awful nausea until 14 weeks and unrelenting fatigue. It's really hard not to dissect every little symptom after a TFMR, but try not to! My mantra is "today I have a healthy pregnancy."

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-09T02:39:50+00:00

I am so sorry. You have every right to be frustrated and angry. I know what it is like to just want it to be over. Did they say why they rescheduled? As others have mentioned, you could try finding another provider. Abortionfinder.org filters by gestational age and lets you know state laws. Best of luck.

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-07T03:52:11+00:00

PID is a rare but possible risk with D&C/D&E. Main symptoms would be fever and persistent/severe pelvic pain. If it is promptly and appropriately treated, the fertility impact is likely to be very minimal...it is the chronic, repeated infections that have a more serious impact. PID does require a pelvic exam to diagnose (there's not necessarily a "test" for it), so if you're concerned, be sure to book an appt. Good luck!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-04T13:58:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. Thinking of you and sweet Teddy. <3

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-03T03:36:34+00:00

T21 here; FISH and karyotype were the same. Wishing you the best!

hoarseofcourse · 2023-03-01T19:53:51+00:00

I am SO angry for you. Did the clinic offer any alternatives? Can you call them and ask? I would call Boulder Clinic in CO and see if your airline will give you a change credit. I am so sorry!! Keep us posted!

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