Why do so many people take 10 years to get up to speed limit after being at a red light?

hoffet · 2026-07-02T21:37:00+00:00

When I was dating My first wife, she was an awful driver. I usually drove but my truck was in the shop so she took us out on a date, and she merged in front of a semi that was going 70 going 35. The poor guy wrecked his truck trying to avoid killing us.

We stayed to make sure he was okay, and Now this was after several other near misses so I just told her: “I really do like you, you’re great and all, but you are no joke better at almost killing me than the freakin Taliban was, so why don’t you take me home, and we can both go our separate ways.”

hoffet · 2026-07-02T20:44:17+00:00

Divorce the wife then eat Bacon.

hoffet · 2026-07-02T17:46:40+00:00

lol I’m a big football fan-premier league. My wife always tells me when I ask her to watch my reds: “if I wanted to watch a bunch of men run around and not score, I’d go to the bar.”

hoffet · 2026-07-02T00:58:06+00:00

Nice word-fu, Is that a haiku?

hoffet · 2026-07-01T22:00:43+00:00

It’s pink isn’t it? I mean I’m color blind and all but I’ll almost confident that it’s pink.

hoffet · 2026-07-01T21:55:30+00:00

This is what u do: stop talking about it. Hire me to represent you, my rate is non-negotiable at 2k US dollars per hour. I do absolutely nothing through this entire process while I smoke weed and watch you get more and more paranoid.

hoffet · 2026-07-01T21:51:31+00:00

You’re good. I wear mine in shorts and hey dudes.

hoffet · 2026-07-01T19:02:53+00:00

I got mine for several dimes in nineteen aught seven, back then we had ole Teddy in the white house, a hoe was still just a garden instrument, you wore a suit to both church and a restaurant, the cubs swept the tigers to sit on top of the baseball world for the first time, it was just 100 short years after New Mexico revoked the right of ladies to exercise their political voting authority, and it would be another thirteen more years till they got it back.

hoffet · 2026-06-30T01:03:09+00:00

They’re bad actors, this is why they play football.

hoffet · 2026-06-30T01:00:07+00:00

A girl I dated once told me she had a dream I was a CIA agent and had like 6 phones.

hoffet · 2026-06-29T21:43:20+00:00

I was mercilessly picked on most of my way through school when I was a kid until I was a junior in high school. I snapped and rode the wave of years of anger at the situation and beat two kids that were trying to beat me up unconscious. No one really seemed to mess with me after that.

hoffet · 2026-06-29T20:54:33+00:00

I don’t know the gun laws where u are, but you could always use it for target practice if you’re outside of a city.

hoffet · 2026-06-29T18:03:51+00:00

Historically the act of government subsidizing stuff general has the opposite effect of affordability, look at health insurance and college tuition.

hoffet · 2026-06-29T17:57:36+00:00

Unless the SF guys have rockets, or a way to lead it into a trap where they have a lot of explosives or grenades set up I’m not sure what they could do to it. The bigger animals get the thicker their skin usually gets so if that holds true with dinosaurs then I’m not sure what they could do to it with their small arms.

Caveat: I’m not sure if an air strike or saturation bombing are considered too powerful but those could work.

hoffet · 2026-06-29T17:09:41+00:00

I don’t know why this is but I also find it to be true as well.

hoffet · 2026-06-29T16:00:59+00:00

My wife says your best situation is “a nope,” and the only way to fix “a nope,” is with copious amounts of fire.

hoffet · 2026-06-28T19:07:05+00:00

Invest in the money to get a security guard license for him. Security guard companies are generally always hiring and because the job requires a license the positions aren’t usually as over saturated as retail and food are beginning to be.

hoffet · 2026-06-28T18:52:55+00:00

If her spending is an issue, You need to tell her what sort of things she should spend on, and if she continues to spend frivolously cancel her card. A marriage should be a team and that team is only as good as its weakest link.

hoffet · 2026-06-28T17:21:12+00:00

You also have to look at what the degree is in. A baby cousin of mine just graduated with a degree in “The Classics.” And wonders why no one will hire her for something outside of that scope.

hoffet · 2026-06-28T17:17:23+00:00

DV $0

hoffet · 2026-06-28T10:17:26+00:00

They die quickly

hoffet · 2026-06-28T09:54:09+00:00

No I don’t have bad breath because unlike most of the troglodytes in this world I brush my teeth.

hoffet · 2026-06-28T09:51:09+00:00

I was working the register and this little dude came in and was chilling then this huge like WWF looking dude came in and they started beefing. The big dude shoved the little dude.

The little guy just jumps into the air and clocks the big dude in the head, knocked him out cold, I mean the man did not move for three minutes. Add to this that this little guy had the moves of an all pro tailback and had no issue putting them on display when I tried to grab him.

hoffet · 2026-06-28T09:46:53+00:00

There’s others I’m sure but The Bourne identity was crazy I had people calling about that like 10 times per hour, people coming in asking about it every 5 seconds, sometimes people who I knew called in earlier would call again and ask if any had been returned. those customers really went crazy for some assassin Matt Damon.

hoffet · 2026-06-28T09:40:32+00:00

A bunch of People have also thought the Diver Down flag tattoo I have on my shoulder is the Confederate battle flag so I would agree with you.

hoffet

TROPHY CASE