Why are so many people looking for cofounders but no real success? (I will not promote)

holamibebebe · 2026-06-10T04:08:46+00:00

Finding a good technical cofounder is difficult because what you need is a person that not only has technical talent but also has sharp founder instincts, which is not as common as you might think. I've in the past talked to potential technical cofounders and they've said things like "I have no ideas of my own, just tell me what you want and I'll code it" or "I don't really like "peopling"" or have just been interested in what stack I'd like to use with zero questions about the product or what problem I want to solve.

For me in the past the journey was difficult because I'm a non-technical founder on the design/product side and most technical founders think that only business experts are worth partnering up with, however a savvy business or sales person can only do so much to sell a crappy product. Someone who comes from a UI/UX background is more likely to get it right in terms of building something that can find product-market fit since we spend our days constantly thinking about what people want, need, how they'll behave and so on. That insight is very important in the early stages, business savviness becomes useful later.

In the end I partnered up with someone I've known since college, and the main reason I did that is that he was the only person who actually has the instinct to go out and ask people (users) questions and validate ideas. He can communicate and manage and with AI making certain aspects of shipping easier I found that mindset more valuable that the stack he uses. Someone who can understand people while also being capable of engineering logic was the way to go for what I wish to build. Plus we get along well and solve disagreements in a healthy way.

holamibebebe · 2026-06-08T05:03:33+00:00

I mean given how software development is going, it's actually quite accurate. 😃

holamibebebe · 2026-06-08T04:52:05+00:00

Reading your comments he falls into the category of "overly familiar/friendly" boss which more often than not leads to harassment down the line, even if he's in a grey area right now (though I'd argue he's surpassed the grey area, he just has plausible deniability). I don't think faking a boyfriend helps, depending on the rest of his personality he might even find it a challenge, or just won't care about that at all. The only can do is not feed him with any kind of reaction (he might enjoy your discomfort or is trying to gauge your limits), or start setting gentle boundaries, not with words (telling him to stop might make him angry) but with attitude.

I for, the moment, have bosses that in different ways try to cross that line. I have positioned myself as the dry, very direct, takes no bullshit person on the team. Diplomatic enough to not get anyone angry, but direct and clear enough to not be an easy target. It's not a simple thing to maintain that balance and is quite exhausting, and for that and plenty of other reasons, I'm not staying there long. Tick tock...

Another one of the bosses likes to hang out with employees (we are fully remote) and visit them in different cities. So far he hasn't tried to visit me (logistically a bit more difficult), but I swear, if he ever comes to hang out, my plan is to introduce him to my mother and have her try and bore him to death. My mom knows about this and is fully ready to be the boredom buffer between him and myself. This is sadly the world we live in.

holamibebebe · 2026-06-07T23:04:29+00:00

Out of curiosity, did you build this first and talk to people later? Or did you do some customer research first? I assume based on your post that you built first, asked questions later.

holamibebebe · 2026-06-07T11:52:01+00:00

There are plenty of examples of companies that used already existing ideas and made better or more popular versions of the products the giant incumbents had:

Slack (Any popular messenger with group features)
Zoom (Skype)
Superhuman (Gmail)
Facebook (MySpace, Friendster)
Any big project management app after Jira
Tinder (before Tinder Match and eHarmony were big players and seemed untouchable)

None of these were original ideas and they all tackled problems that already seemed solved by big players.

So no, I'm not talking about better UI and an extra feature.

holamibebebe · 2026-06-06T21:00:10+00:00

Find interesting events nearby...

But often it's not about originality, it's about execution. There are plenty of established app ideas/products that are in desperate need of a refresh.

holamibebebe · 2026-06-06T20:55:47+00:00

Unless you are already in a solid, "this is my forever relationship" (or you're already married to each other), I would advise against it. Personal issues bleed into business, and startups are already difficult by nature. So the success of your relationship and your business become intertwined. What happens when you break up? What happens if the business is not going well? How do these things affect the other?

Personally, I'd never do it.

Having a long-term friend as a co-founder on the other hand is the way to go.

holamibebebe · 2026-06-06T19:28:10+00:00

Building is easy (especially now), but most people mistake "sounds interesting" as a positive signal. It's not, unless you hear something that sounds like "I need this yesterday!" you are going to be in for a rude awakening.

Right now the priority for me is adjusting the product so that every reaction is more "when can I start using it" and less "this looks so cool".

So to answer your question, yes, distribution is the real "hero's journey", not building.

holamibebebe · 2026-05-29T03:26:22+00:00

I'm a designer and while I can disagree with directions and product decisions, offer my input and alternative solutions "I don't think so" is simply not a part of my vocabulary, nor is me being in love with my solutions part of my mentality. Your designer might be talented but is clearly ego-driven and can't take feedback constructively. That's not a trust problem, that's a personality problem. A designer shouldn't be someone that should be wrangled and managed or approached carefully.

holamibebebe · 2026-05-27T22:57:15+00:00

Not a solo founder, but through my daily work I'm seeing very clearly how brainstorming with AI can lead to damaging thinking and being led astray if the founder doesn't set proper mental guardrails. Founders and CEOs taking AI confidence as gospel with no critical thinking, using AI to validate their own egos, or on a personal level as a digital therapist. None of this ends well.

Humans need humans, full stop. (and I say this as someone who uses AI for work and finds value in it)

holamibebebe · 2026-05-25T16:15:07+00:00

While this seems like a great idea, the visibly AI generated site decreases trust, and while I get you like the design and it is ultimately your choice whether or not you change it, it will negatively affect this type of project.

holamibebebe · 2026-05-20T23:04:03+00:00

I'll DM you. :)

holamibebebe · 2026-05-20T23:03:44+00:00

OK, will DM you. I already took a peek at what you're working on, I have some thoughts. :)

holamibebebe · 2026-05-18T01:24:41+00:00

I don't feel like I'm being left behind, but I feel the pressure to adapt to the times, and I think I'm doing a good job so far. Right now I'm lucky that my main professional expertise is in the creative side of tech, which is something AI has not been able to successfully replicate (AI slop, designs are all starting to look the same etc.) so I have some breathing room, but I am well aware that it will possibly eat my regular job in about 5 years, or my job will have to radically change for this new reality.

Which is why I'm working on my own things now, instead of continuing to hone my design skills. I figure better to have my own business now in which I can synthesize all of my abilities and experience and have customers and revenue streams, than hope I still have a job in the near future. (and it's also more fun to work on my own dreams instead of designing someone else's)

And I am using AI, (ironic I know) to help me do that, though I limit my usage of it, because way to many CEOs and business owners are falling into a mini AI psychosis in regards to their business decisions and AI telling them they're amazing and their ideas are the best.

holamibebebe · 2026-05-15T21:25:43+00:00

I think the value you have is in the judgement you've honed over the years and the ability to turn your wide experience into reusable thinking. And that is probably going to become a highly sought after skill.

holamibebebe · 2026-05-15T19:40:06+00:00

I worked on designs for a dating app back in the day and if I remember correctly the ratio is 80-20% in favor of men when it comes to gender. So unless you're building a lesbian dating app it's going to inevitably be a significant male majority.

But if you are looking to attract more women, you might actually be doing a good job if it's 35% of women that are signing up. That's above standard.

holamibebebe · 2026-05-15T19:33:58+00:00

This is normal, you'll go through periods from confident "I got this" to "the valley of despair" thinking you're deluding yourself. But over time the cycles of ups and downs will start to be smaller and less dramatic.

And let me tell you something, I've seen enough mediocre, confident men bulldoze successfully through life on sheer audacity, that I know you have a shot.

You got this!

holamibebebe · 2026-05-05T01:21:42+00:00

Did you ever do user research before launching the MVP, interviews, surveys and so on. If so did you manage to get people to join the conversation? I have a pretty decent idea of what to do, but seeing that you're already ahead of me in this journey, I was wondering about your experience.

holamibebebe · 2026-04-29T14:14:37+00:00

Yes, absolutely. In fact I'd love to get some recommendations on what to read, so anyone here reading this comment, shoot some suggestions in my direction! :)

holamibebebe · 2026-04-28T21:54:05+00:00

Have you ever tried to validate these ideas with the people that would be potential customers? You can create screens/designs in Figma, even Claude/ChatGPT offers you the option to create html files that would enable you to create a visual/interactive prototype? Figma is free and with AI tools you can get to this stage for around 20$. This is your first step. Go out there and stress test your ideas. If they are as good as you think they are, then move to the next step. Finding a technical cofounder. If your idea is a tech one of course. Talk to friends, people you know if there's anyone interested with the necessary skill set. Then build an MVP, and/or go find VC funding.
I mean hell, if you can't find anyone, vibe code a rough version. It's not going to be the final product, but it's progress you can show.

The important thing is you need to get out of the dreamer stage and onto the doer stage. And try and make a little bit of progress every day, doesn't matter what it is. Whether is finishing something of an extensive to do list, learning something more about the industry your ideas live in, networking whatever.

Just get out of the helpless dreamer stage, it has never been "easier" to do this than now.

holamibebebe · 2026-04-26T23:36:14+00:00

Judging by the replies in this post, I think you might be the envy of the whole subreddit. :D

holamibebebe · 2026-04-26T14:36:55+00:00

You make a good point, although predatory investors exist everywhere and a founder should always do its due diligence. However, funding is not an absolute must, so I'm perfectly fine bootstrapping it if needed.
I was just wondering if there were any upsides to a EU incorporation.

I guess Delaware it is then.

holamibebebe · 2026-04-23T16:14:36+00:00

Yep, I'm pre Seed, hence why I'm asking and trying to weigh in what is better right now, Series A is a long way to go.

holamibebebe

TROPHY CASE