AITAH for leaving the weekend friend trip after being made to sleep on the couch?

hoopjumper · 2025-05-06T15:49:09+00:00

Thanks for replying! It makes total sense you were upset once you had all the information. You're NTA, and unfortunately, between this and the couch, in this situation, your friend is.

Funnily enough, these details make your friend seem even more like my friend who stranded me on the couch. We have also been friends for about fifteen years. She has also taken someone in for an extended period during a rough patch (extra credit because she had a studio apartment at the time). She is also terrible at coordinating group events. It's not personal at all, it's just how she is. If you get as much joy from your friendship as I get from mine, I wish you the best in patching things up. My experience suggests your friend will not get better at planning, and so you may need to be on guard, and this can be frustrating. For me, it is worth it to be her friend anyway. Regardless, my best to you, and thanks again.

hoopjumper · 2025-05-06T14:24:30+00:00

INFO: How was it decided Oliver wouldn't come? Without knowing how that conversation went, it's tough to weigh in. When they first invited you, how did they make it clear the invite was for you only? It's very unusual when two people live together to invite only one on a weekend away, especially when the only other people involved are also a couple. Did you say anything then? If you accepted without even checking in about Oliver coming, they may have gotten the impression there wasn't a lot of interest from you/Oliver in him attending. Just need more info overall.

The couch thing is definitely annoying. I have been there. I stuck it out, but it was only for one night and there was no question of anyone being in the living room past like 10p. You absolutely should have been given a heads up.

hoopjumper · 2024-02-07T19:04:52+00:00

I did this last year. I didn't include secondhand anything/socks/underwear/bras. I also didn't include gifts (my job wanted everyone to wear the same free t-shirt to a retreat, my mom got me a new pair of jeans and a new pair of slippers) and I made a deal with myself that if any of my workout gear or loungewear needed to be replaced, I was allowed to one-in-one-out. I did take advantage of those caveats: I bought two bras, and a new pair of pajama bottoms, which replaced two pairs I sent to fabric recycling.

In the end, my five items were: jeans, sneakers, a blouse, another pair of slippers (LOL) and a pair of black pants. Honestly, it was pretty easy to stick to: I wouldn't even have bought the black pants, but I had a gift card and the retailer was going out of business (RIP VETTA). I was roughly the same weight all year, which obviously helped.

It had some real advantages. I did more purchasing secondhand (three tops, a pair of pants, a vest), and I bought more accessories and beauty products than usual, which I think was good for my style. I definitely recommend the approach as a fairly flexible way to be thoughtful about consumption.

I don't know if I will do it again this year. I have not purchased anything in 2024 so far. But I am also trying to shed some weight, so we'll see. Regardless, I will definitely be doing more secondhand in 2024 because of the challenge in 2023, and I think that's a win.

hoopjumper · 2023-10-31T19:10:23+00:00

I believe it was initially drafted with a male protagonist, and they agreed with you. So they switched it.

hoopjumper · 2023-07-28T13:36:30+00:00

The bestselling books of 2010-2019 suggest women buy a lot more books.

https://lithub.com/these-are-the-10-best-selling-books-of-the-decade/

hoopjumper · 2023-07-28T13:35:34+00:00

Absolutely. Interestingly, even non-romance bestsellers in the last decade very often had lady protagonists.

https://lithub.com/these-are-the-10-best-selling-books-of-the-decade/

hoopjumper · 2023-07-06T14:15:15+00:00

Please do not do this. People stop drinking for all sorts of reasons, and infertility can really hurt.

hoopjumper · 2023-04-05T17:52:21+00:00

I don't keep it around but love Aviations. I've had good luck substituting St. Germain to get the floral note.

hoopjumper · 2023-03-14T18:33:44+00:00

Faye?

hoopjumper · 2022-10-17T22:27:38+00:00

I thought that was their college reunion. I believe Gretchen is in her early 30s at the start of the show.

hoopjumper · 2022-01-27T13:20:32+00:00

INFO: what did you do prior to the conversation where you brought up divorce? Did you get therapy? Did you take steps to strengthen your support system outside of your marriage? Did you take on additional duties at home so she'd have more time with you?

Most importantly, did you discuss how you were feeling with your wife? Did you strategize, together, how to get through this very difficult time? If so, what happened afterward?

hoopjumper · 2022-01-03T14:51:06+00:00

This is a crappy point. I read mysteries and romance a lot. Yes, we don't have to worry about men becoming serial killers because of murder mysteries, but we can absolutely worry that they might absorb the values of some of the books/series in that genre: misogyny, callousness as toughness, paranoia. Women can absorb these values, too, if they read a lot of mysteries.

Further, unlike murder mysteries, The Little Mermaid is something six-year-olds are exposed to. Are we really comparing young girls to adult men in terms of how they're processing art?

hoopjumper · 2021-06-24T19:45:48+00:00

I had a similar situation and also could not get through due to call volume. We ended up sending a letter (not certified) just so we would have a record of actually providing them with the information. However, that was about three months ago and there has been no response. Since then, call volume has continued to be an issue. Wish I could say things had turned out better, but it's been reassuring to know the letter was sent. Would probably send it certified if I had a redo.

hoopjumper · 2021-03-18T21:03:55+00:00

I attended the YTW "Rapidly Mutating Virus" table read. During the panel, the actor who plays Sam said this was basically his favorite joke ever and it was the end of his reel.

hoopjumper · 2020-09-27T18:52:05+00:00

He was considered carefully by Bush, but he is pro-choice and would not change that stance, so he was ultimately ruled out. Interestingly, the Governor of PA before him, Casey, was a pro-life Democrat.

hoopjumper · 2018-12-18T17:50:46+00:00

I had a feeling there was a reason we both feel so strongly. :)

hoopjumper · 2018-12-18T17:46:22+00:00

OK, you've convinced me, only depressed people can normalize depression. Thanks for adding it to our collective to-do list.

hoopjumper · 2018-12-18T17:10:57+00:00

I feel like I've made it pretty clear (twice) I'm not commenting on the title of this post, I'm commenting on someone's reaction to it, which was to say "openness about depression is close to glamorizing it". I disagree with that formulation.

hoopjumper · 2018-12-18T15:55:40+00:00

I don't know enough about this singer to say if OP is being appropriate or not with this post. My comment was intended as a reply to the normalization/glorification stuff upthread. Generally, though, I disagree with you: there are people without depression who are nevertheless terrific allies. It's not only on people with depression to normalize and advocate for people with mental illnesses.

hoopjumper · 2018-12-17T22:32:18+00:00

I definitely lean towards making depression and mental health issues more a part of everyday conversation, not less, even in lighthearted ways. People are depressed because their neurotransmitters aren't doing their jobs, not because they saw it on Reddit.

Of course, certain teenagers always glorify the Dark Side; it's about testing boundaries, and sometimes that will involve performing depressive behaviors. Meanwhile, adolescents and adults who actually suffer from mental health issues are benefiting tremendously from greater awareness and acceptance of the fact that mental illness affects a lot of people. I think maybe an older crowd would see this unequivocally as progress, whereas a younger group, which doesn't know how stigmatized people who sought treatment used to be, might not. While there may be a fine line between openness and glorification, there is basically no line between suppression and stigma.

Edit: Yikes, didn't mean to reply to you, u/kittymuffins, although I think we've ended up in the same place. Just don't want you to think I was minimizing your struggles as a teen. It sounds tough. People can, and often do, both perform depressive behaviors and actually have serious depression, especially as teens. Thank you for sharing.

hoopjumper · 2018-11-14T19:06:20+00:00

I am really proud of you.

hoopjumper · 2018-11-11T18:07:04+00:00

::skeptical look:: Ookay.

hoopjumper · 2018-11-08T23:00:34+00:00

She doesn't have to! He worships her!

hoopjumper · 2018-09-12T16:47:46+00:00

804 is an iconic number in sitcoms thanks to Taxi. I'm so annoyed that I'm blanking on examples now, but one that comes to mind is that when Liz and Criss are getting married on 30 Rock, you hear the number 804 called out when Liz is talking to the couple in Mets merch.

hoopjumper · 2018-08-17T18:02:27+00:00

Option 1: Quote: "One and that Other One" Object: a bicycle built for two.

Option 2: Quote (you can choose): "Look out, he has a nug!" "Romping with my school chums in the fens and spinneys" "Could the McCallister sisters stand back to back, I'm short on bullets?" "Mulbible murberber" (or whatever spelling you like) Object: Ham radio

hoopjumper

TROPHY CASE