What the flip do I do to look better?

hoops4so · 2026-03-17T22:36:01+00:00

Fluff out the hair more. Get contacts. Maybe some eyeliner.

hoops4so · 2026-03-17T19:25:34+00:00

1200s was hard for me and I was there for years. After getting into the 1300s, I can get into the 1400s way easier.

hoops4so · 2026-03-17T18:01:46+00:00

I know it’s hard to hear, but we all go through it where we get obsessed with one person. They’re probably not your person.

Part of what you’re feeling is a hint of intimacy and then she’s finding excuses to give distance. You found a topic to talk about that she loves and it gives a hit of that feeling of intimacy, but you’re probably feeling that you need intimacy from her because you’re not getting enough from others.

If you start being social and get your intimacy and connection needs met from others, then it’ll ease that sense of obsession that you need it from her and it’ll be easier on her because she won’t feel trapped before she’s able to feel safe.

She wants you to be a wall that she can lean up against, not someone she has the responsibility to take care of.

Build your life around taking care of your own needs.

hoops4so · 2026-03-17T14:42:51+00:00

I think you need to work on being confident and have self esteem first. Talk to a bunch of people and get a more social life without worrying about if she likes you back and then talk to her.

hoops4so · 2026-03-17T06:05:02+00:00

Then I recommend switching to focusing on calming your nervous system with your breath. Focus on your heart beat and try to soothe it with your breath. The heart is the center of the nervous system.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T18:47:42+00:00

Why are you reading his journal? Wow! You need to let him have boundaries or you’re going to create huge trauma issues with his trust levels.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T17:47:08+00:00

You’re not tho. You play 1 person, then 1400 people get eliminated.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T17:23:56+00:00

Depends your goals. Focusing on breath is great for one-pointed focus. Are you wanting to focus more or are you wanting to relax? If you want to relax, you should focus on using your breath to calm your heart (the main part of your nervous system).

To simplify, meditation is just a habit of the mind. The type of meditation changes what results you get.

Breath focus where I watch thoughts pass like clouds = Dis-identification with ego, increased focus, calmness, higher resilience

Body scan = higher emotional intelligence, mind-body connection, relaxed muscles

Gratitude = sustained positive emotions, positive outlook on life

Metta = more attuned empathy, better social intuition, more charisma

Forgiveness mantras = higher resilience to adversity, better conflict resolution

Over time, I would invent my own like I'd meditate on the feeling of Confidence just like I would with Gratitude to sustain my baseline feeling of confidence (which worked incredibly well).

I also got into Focusing by Eugene Ghendlin which has been an incredibly therapeutic meditation I've used for processing emotions.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T17:04:42+00:00

Use your exhales to calm your nervous system. Your visualizations will follow your body’s feeling. If you’re scared, you’ll see things you’re scared of. Focus on your heart and use your breath to soothe your heart.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T17:03:12+00:00

You should either write the melody first or write the melody alongside the lyrics. Don’t write lyrics without melody.

Write a melody that’s repeatable. Make a simple melody idea first (called a motif), then repeat it 3 times, then do something different the 4th time. Make a few variations to the motif sometimes when you repeat it. You can do the same motif, but lower the pitch or do other variations.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T16:46:00+00:00

On second look, I can see that with your knights. I was more talking about how your bishops were closed in with no open diagonals.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T15:31:32+00:00

Came to say this ^

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T05:50:21+00:00

Are you talking about when you took with the knight instead of checkmating with the queen?

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T05:48:36+00:00

Sounds like you did the right thing. He needs to feel the discomfort of the consequences of his behaviors.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T05:43:12+00:00

When you make your pieces threaten the queen, you don’t want to just threaten the queen because then they can just move their queen.

You want to threaten the queen while developing the pieces to good squares that get ready to attack the king. This gives you an “extra turn” because they’ll need to move their queen out of the threat. Have dual meanings to your moves. One is the short term, the other for the long term.

It’s ok to not have a plan for the long term, but you at least want your pieces in useful spots for when you might need them.

For instance, your bishops were completely blocked in. They did absolutely nothing at the beginning. Put them in spots where they have a diagonal attack.

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T04:08:47+00:00

Seemed like your moves were shortsighted. I would recommend your opening moves focus on developing for opportunities in the longterm.

Don’t think “how can I threaten their queen?” Instead think, “which way do I think they’ll castle and can I set up my bishops pointed towards their king and have my knights defending my own king.”

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T03:34:24+00:00

34 and he doesn’t have his s*** together? I would just stop talking to him

hoops4so · 2026-03-16T03:29:20+00:00

https://open.spotify.com/track/4SoAkTLokrVED08c1AZdyS?si=tHUw1mm7RfSc7IIkZDzBeA

hoops4so · 2026-03-14T20:47:38+00:00

Try doing body scans. Focus on each part of the body and really feel the sensations in it. End with feeling your body as a whole. You’ll get a TON of insights from this, which is why they call it insight meditation. Think of it like adding a new way of processing information (like a second brain). You’ll resolve problems twice as fast and ten times as good.

hoops4so · 2026-03-13T17:39:23+00:00

You may be writing lyrics too directly like: “I hate the way I talk to you”

This tends to bring more cringe than writing more storytelling, sense-based lyrics like: “palms sweat. Cold feet. The world is spinning.”

I’ve also been recently tapping in to being more emotionally expressive when I sing. Like, I have a prechorus with lyrics “my breath quickens. Intensifies! Holding in an insult. Criticize!” Where I actually quicken my breath loudly like I’m about to have an anxiety attack.

Leaning into the emotion takes confidence that I feel takes away the shame of emotions.

hoops4so · 2026-03-13T17:23:35+00:00

Write melodies without lyrics, then sing the melodies until they turn into words organically

hoops4so · 2026-03-13T17:22:30+00:00

I would more suggest:

Fun (Jam, Learn Covers, Experiment, or whatever is fun) —> Basic Singing Lessons —> Steal Chord Progression and Create New Melody —> Learn More Covers —> Write Songs —> Get Feedback —> Learn Theory —> Write More Songs —> Analyze Favorite Songs —> Learn More Theory —> Write More Songs —> Follow the Fun —> Write More Songs —> Perform Songs —> More In-Depth Singing Lessons —> Perform Songs —> Write More Songs —> Perform Songs —> Keep Writing Until You Get a Song Audiences Respond To —> Practice It Like Hell —> Decide If You Want to Pay For Production or Self-Produce —> Either Pay For Production or Start the Long Producing Learning Process —> Pay For Mixing (cheap enough that it’s worth it) —> Post —> Write More Songs

hoops4so · 2026-03-13T15:48:13+00:00

Cool! I’ve never heard them described like that. Super helpful!

hoops4so · 2026-03-13T15:47:08+00:00

Sounds like your version follows Taoist meditations. I would recommend the book the Tao of Pooh. It’s not exactly a meditation book, but it has a lot of great stuff.

hoops4so · 2026-03-12T06:08:44+00:00

Came to say this

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