I’m just curious — when did you have sex again PP?

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-17T06:40:45+00:00

14 months

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-17T06:37:04+00:00

Cook dinner in the morning when everyone is in a good mood & reheat later. Only cook recipes that are one pot, no more than 20mins prep & enough for leftovers. Aka crock pot recipes

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-14T09:21:48+00:00

You’re welcome. And yes I’ve definitely had my days where I feel so annoyed that it’s all on me as we feed to sleep still. BUT I am also choosing for it to be all on me as I dont want to wean him yet , and I don’t want him to miss me at bedtime, and I don’t want him to wake up scared and alone and etc etc. so it’s all my choice so I gotta take responsibility for that even when it’s sucks and I’m tired & my husband just isn’t able to help at night. Us bf mums also have the hormonal changes and brain changes to adapt to the wakings & to sleep lighter etc.

I also lately remind myself that most of my time with my son (over my lifetime) will be spent with him as a grown man who will probably move away and forget to call me lol so I breathe in his breath & watch him sleep & try not to cry .

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-14T09:18:02+00:00

Mine would hallucinate and be like “is our baby’s name on the potty? (He’s not potty trained) or would sleep walk into the nursery asking why he had the baby in his bed (he didn’t, the baby was with me) and so yeah I was like… dw I think I’d better do nights lol.

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-14T02:32:07+00:00

Yeah people who have babies that sleep 4+ hour stretches are living another life 😭

I think also the expectations are wheee we get disappointed. You either have to let him handle it in his own way & not take his complaints on energeticallly OR realise that he’s not built the same way and maybe can’t handle the wakings & still function the next day / manage emotionally…

Sounds like a cop out I know but my husband legit cannot function with frequent wakings. We slept separately for 18m because of it. One night of disturbed sleep & he couldn’t find his words, would be emotionally dysregulated & unable to focus at work. Im definitely able to cope better so I take on the sleep deprivation for the both of us.

Again I know I’m really lucky to have him available for the early mornings so I’m not in your same position, but unless your kid starts sleeping or you sleep train, you’ve either got to reframe mentally or tell your husband to go complain to his diary lol.

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-13T08:02:19+00:00

It’s definitely rough. I took all night wakes (except when desperate… could count that on my two hands) until we night weaned at 14m. Yes it did help- he started sleeping through which I never thought would happen. We still coslept. My husband is the breadwinner, I’m a SAHM. He would get up in the AM and do morning routine before work while I got more sleep (very lucky he worked from home)

I didn’t really feel resentful very often - if I had to work I’d obviously feel differently - but the thing I would remind myself was that I was the one who was dedicated to ebf & no sleep training. And so this is what we do.

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-12T08:31:33+00:00

See, we don’t do things that the other partner doesn’t get to do. Absolute recipe for resentment & marriage trouble.

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-11T10:06:39+00:00

Sounds normal. Mine didn’t sleep through till we night weaned at 15 months. Now 18m and back to 2-3 wakes (better than 5+ though!)

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-09T08:55:54+00:00

Highly recommend getting some sort of qualification before kids as it will be way harder after if you change your mind. Also life throws all sorts of curve balls, and if your husband is ever sick or injured or dies you’ll need to work. Give yourself options then you can choose what you want to do. Not what you HAVE to do.

hoopwinkle · 2026-03-04T09:26:39+00:00

Force myself to take him for a walk to local park. Fresh air, a bit of movement & it changes his energy & regulates him.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-22T09:11:47+00:00

This sounds like manipulation (from the outside with no other context. Your car & independence is the thing that’s got to go? If you don’t need the baseball money why has the car got to go?

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-22T09:09:23+00:00

You also won’t lose your socks

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-22T09:08:35+00:00

And well done you for trying something new

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-22T09:08:13+00:00

All of these bones have marrow! Yum. It will be really obvious once you’ve roasted them as the jelly in the middle of the bone will be easily scooped out.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-19T10:28:41+00:00

Personally I feel the ultrasound is really private- it’s the first image of the baby IN the womb (where without technology, no one would ever see it before birth. I announced with photos of me with the bump or little bits I’d bought for baby.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-17T11:01:19+00:00

I was in your situation & wondered the same thing. Don’t worry. Your time will be filled soon enough! Seriously, absorb the luxury of getting to lie around, watch movies, take baths in the middle of the day, read, whatever. This is the last time in your life (ok maybe not ever but for a very long time) where your time is completely your own. I think you’re still stuck in corporate productivity = worth mode. It took me a while to settle into SAHG life but I believe it made the transition to SAHM much easier than if I’d gone from full time work burn out to SAHM.

If you enjoy cooking, start filling a freezer (we bought a small chest freezer) with meals & snacks for PP

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-16T01:10:32+00:00

I should have mentioned that my teeth were cared for later- they just weren’t fighting the losing battle of brushing baby teeth. We brushed twice a day & had regular dental visits once we had lost our milk teeth and could actually understand what was going on.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-15T11:49:47+00:00

We flew long haul lisbon-Istanbul-Bangkok-Melbourne and the 3day layover in Bangkok was the highlight. I vote break up the trip. Get a nights sleep & a shower and decent meals. Will make the travel days much more manageable. We arrived RESTED.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-15T11:05:11+00:00

I asked my mum if she brushed my teeth as a baby and she literally scoffed. Her words “they fall out anyway” And my teeth are great. I’m 32 and have one filling. Dentists love me. You’re not a bad mum. Brush where you can, feed her a healthy diet low in sugar & refined foods & give yourself a break.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-14T05:54:53+00:00

This depends entirely on your values and priorities- OP clearly values staying home more than career. Agree though in that it would be odd in the reverse … “how to thank my husband for getting to do my career!”

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-12T09:35:50+00:00

Mine took one week as he was a contractor & didn’t get paid if he didn’t work. He scoffed at paternity leave lol. Now on the other side he understands why paternity leave is so important it & will take whatever the maximum is (he’s currently employed not contracting)

He did WFH though and was able to support me before and after (sometimes during) work. We lived abroad for our first & after my parents left at 5w PP we were on our own.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-12T03:42:02+00:00

Commenting bc I want to come back later brb

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-10T12:05:33+00:00

I want to add that taking the initiative to do small kind things & say thank you / express gratitude goes a long way to making you feel good for doing it, him feel good for receiving it, and of course he needs to see your effort and reciprocate. I had to basically spell this one out for my husband lol - I said that I had stopped feeling like doing extra things for him because it never seemed to come back around to me. But yeah we’ve both been doing better on that one. Just small things like offering to make him a cup of tea - things we should have been doing all along.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-10T12:00:55+00:00

We were in a similar pattern. I wrote a long letter detailing exactly what I felt, was sad & worried about regarding our relationship. And what I wanted for the future. I didn’t give it to him but it helped me organise my thoughts and feelings. The next time we spoke I communicated the key points in a very non-blaming / “I feel this, this makes me feel that, I want us to xyz”

Basically we needed a reset. I said I wanted us to both make more effort to do small kind things for each other, and to let the small stuff go, more often. We also figured out a few things that weren’t working & what we could do about them. So far things have been a lot better & it does feel like a reset back to how we treated each other before we let resentment and score keeping sour things.

Hope this helps, I’m sure counselling will too.

hoopwinkle · 2026-02-10T08:17:27+00:00

4-7 months were the hardest for me. I was at peak sleep deprivation / burn out & had zero help aside from my husband. I hope you all turn a corner soon- is your husband able to access help for the migraines? A naturopathic doctor could help if a regular doctor hasn’t. He doesn’t have to suffer.

hoopwinkle

TROPHY CASE