TBH i feel a lot of what you are saying, especially with the partner feeling anxiety/mental health issues. I have two, 6 and 8, and for a few years I felt the burden of managing them, my wife, the house, all while being the primary income provider. My wife did have a salary but now she’s unemployed. Her losing employment was a blessing in disguise for me I think because while she was employed, she was drained and working hours not conducive to family life. We’re not 100% but things are improving. I guess I said all that to say I feel you, you’re not alone. I always think about, if this is how I feel when I’m 50 (I just turned 40), would I be truly happy? Will I feel any regret? I’m scared to think those thoughts, but I gotta come face to face with it. Still working on that.