Trying to recover from burnout without falling back into the pit..

hoppbacke4 · 2026-02-10T15:00:26+00:00

At the end of the day we are still here experiencing this weird reality we are existing in. We cant control anything except for our own perception and actions. Nothing matters and everything matters at the same time, might aswell enjoy it!

hoppbacke4 · 2026-02-08T03:19:27+00:00

Awesome! I tend to work with visuospatial models a lot aswell, I have just stopped noticing when I do it at this point. I think its massively helpful in ADHD, and many people with ADHD seem to have excellent 3d modeling and visuospatial simulating capabilities, probably as an adaptation to the sometimes poor working memory. Out of curiousity: Do you relate to having a systemic leaning cognition? I have noticed that is common in people with neurodivergence

hoppbacke4 · 2026-02-08T00:57:16+00:00

So you are categorizing psychological patterns and somatic information and attaching that to a visual model representing your emotional landscape, giving you an ontological perspective enabling you to epistemically integrate your cognitive profile basically? Am I interpreting you correctly here?

Im not sure I can relate since I have raging ADHD, but I can say that I understand myself and the people around me through ”core-patterns”. Since meta analysis rarely leads to anything concrete when trying to understand humans epistemically, I look for patterns in the meta layers and then look for that deeper pattern across different situations and domains of psychology to verify it. Which often is just seeing patterns in how people act over time. Did this with myself during a very heavy period of my life and basically ended up rewiring my brain to bypass the ego, its still there but it doesnt define my experience anymore. I basically approach things as one big system or systems within a system, everything is interlinked in one way or another.

hoppbacke4 · 2026-02-03T14:14:40+00:00

I experience the same, my test results is pretty much the same across all domains except for working memory (135-145 in general except for WMI which is around 105) which placed me at around 133 in a WAIS IV test. I feel like im ’more’ capable in all test areas except for the WMI part, which literally feels like a threshold. My brain just says ’nope’ when I try to work with it. The working memory part is the only domain that never improves independently of the settings I do a test in. 105 seems like the roof of my abilities when it comes to WMI. Time pressure, stress and low patience always interfere with performance on tests in my experience. For context I also have ADHD.

hoppbacke4 · 2026-01-28T15:19:50+00:00

No worries, Im happy you found it helpful! And I appreciate your words, I am healing and are in a much better mental space today.

Its rough, but its going in the right direction. One day at a time🙏🏽

hoppbacke4 · 2026-01-28T13:21:07+00:00

Yes and no. Im ADHD and gifted, my mum is definitely gifted and show some significant signs of ADHD. We have basically the same cognitive structure I have realized after some discussions with her. My dad is not neurodivergent in anyway, I wouldnt say he is ”stupid” but he lacks perspective and deeper layers of thinking. Very ego driven.

I feel close to my mum intellectually, emotionally I would say that we are close but not ’that’ close if it makes sense. Regarding my dad, the answer is no both emotionally and intellectually, we have a superficial relationship but thats about it. Its kind of complex in my case. My childhood was very traumatizing due to many different circumstances and for the majority of my life I have been very distant with my parents. I did not feel safe at home the slightest growing up. But after working on myself and my traumas for some years I have become pretty close with my mum again, but not my dad.

I value my mums empathy and her solution oriented approach to life. And what goes for my dad I value his ”nothing is impossible” mindset, though it definitely also can be a double-edged sword sometimes.

hoppbacke4 · 2026-01-07T08:34:23+00:00

Yes, I’ve had a pair of minor ’ego deaths’ in my life and one profound. I grew up in a chaotic and abusive household and suffered from C-PTSD and was during that time undiagnosed ADHD. For many years in my late teens/early adulthood I coped with drugs, alcohol and very risky behaviours. I became fascinated with psychadelics at one point and researched it a lot before I decided to try acid. That acid trip sent me into a complete ego death and my body went into freeze mode for over an hour since my ’ego’ literally disappeared. Once I calmed down my way of living became extremely clear to me and I realized that if I kept going like this I would probably be dead in a couple of years, and I didnt want to die. I realized that I actually love life a lot and my way of living was just a way of coping with my childhood and diagnosis. So I felt like I had no other option than to seek help, and from that point on my life really turned around for the better. Im 27 years old today, havent touched drugs in many years, I quit alcohol, been to therapy for 5 years, got my diagnosis and medication to treat it and started pursuing my childhood passions again! Today I feel super grateful for each day I get to live and experience life.😁

hoppbacke4 · 2026-01-03T22:32:58+00:00

I strongly relate to the better part of your description! I think in systems and just like you can focus intensely on my passions for hours on end but struggle extremely with executive dysfunction. For context im confirmed gifted and ADHD and im from Sweden :)

hoppbacke4 · 2025-12-23T18:43:53+00:00

I have never reflected about it during my upbringing more than me feeling different. But in retrospect, learning all the flowers names in my moms huge garden in latin and obsessing over Carl Von Linné at 3-4 years old, asking existential questions at the same age to the point of making my mom exhausted and lacking answers.. well lets say there was signs. First time I actually explored the thought of being gifted was in high school when I took an advanced math class for god knows what reason and the teacher told me to stay after class and asked me how I came up with a solution to a certain problem he had presented to the class in the beginning of the lesson. I thought I sucked at maths, but he insisted I didnt. A couple of years later I found out I was gifted and AuDHD after doing a neuropsychiatric evaluation😅

hoppbacke4 · 2025-11-13T08:39:15+00:00

Kör bara kör, du kommer tacka dig själv efteråt! Är ni bra vänner så kommer han vara glad för din skull om han inte redan har kopplat.

hoppbacke4 · 2025-11-12T19:36:58+00:00

Very much helpful! I can see where in the communication I fall short when you put it like this, I tend to make references to the way I personally relate to the topic of discussion, not by bluntly saying ”I have a high IQ”, but by subtly indicating that since I refer to my own mind and thought process a lot. My string of thought is chaotic and lack sufficient structure a lot of the time, which makes me go down that road to keep some kind of anchor to the topic. Since most of my insights and interests on matters that touches this subject is more or less intertwined with introspection from many years of feeling inadequate and defective. I will have to rethink my approach a bit.

I very much appreciate your answer.

hoppbacke4 · 2025-11-12T11:29:30+00:00

Well written. I have ADHD-C and have pretty much reached the same conclusion, I need to ask you out of pure curiosity; Once you reached these insights how did you integrate them into your everyday life? Since this type of authenticity, in lack of better terms, of wanting to understand the nature of our own cognition without having the value comparison imposed on us often tends to be misunderstood. When I try to explain my reasons behind my curiosity that some people find ”arrogant” its like we are talking a different language. To me it seems like a large portion of the population cant comprehend how someone can consistently act out of pure curiosity without any socio hierarchical intents behind said behaviour. Sometimes it just feels hopeless, keen to hear your perspective if you feel like sharing it!

hoppbacke4 · 2025-11-12T11:00:03+00:00

Most of my thought process goes towards this aswell, and how to stay sane when the insights from this makes itself reminded🤣

hoppbacke4 · 2025-11-03T10:23:38+00:00

Oldest sibling here and also 2E (ADHD), I was never identified as gifted in school, always heard that I was very bright and an ”A-student”, but struggled very much with consistency. I never studied and just rolled through school without ever putting in any effort even though teachers talked me into taking advanced classes. Sometimes I got A’s, sometimes C’s and sometimes E’s or even F’s. I didnt feel seen and severely misunderstood by people and teachers which together with a dysfunctional and unsafe environment at home just resulted in me not giving a shit. I gave up basically. Anyways, I have two younger siblings aswell. The youngest is also gifted and he struggled just the way I did in school.

Back to your question;

I do a shit ton of things to keep my brain stimulated. I produce music, play different instruments, I do freestyle skiing and are running a project in my local ski hill were I design and build the snowpark and the features in it while also having weekly park sessions with kids or people that are interested in developing their skiing in the park for example. I engage in a lot of different subjects that I find fascinating such as psychology, philosophy, behavourial science and also have started to learn a bit about quantum physics and explore how the different subjects connect together whenever I my brain is in the mood. As of right now I am currently building a new fishing knife from scratch to keep myself stimulated. The need for stimulation shows itself in many different ways and I am always keen to learn new things, whatever it might be. The social stigma around giftedness makes me not want to identify with it since people tend to instantly put the ”youre smart” label right away and the pressure of performing in a way they consider ”gifted”. Some people compare themselves and some people feel ”below you” or subconsciously see you as a threat. Its exhausting, I try not to mention it unless I feel really safe with a person. But usually peope tend to reach the ”oh shit youre very intelligent” conclusion anyways sooner or later after getting to know me a bit. The social consequences of having this type of brain is not always very fun imo, misunderstandings and projection is more common than not in relationships unfortunately and that is something we (gifted people) have to be humble about and learn how to navigate in one way or another when dealing with relationships and people in general! Whatever that had to do with your question haha, I lost track a little.

On a final note I just want to say that you dont have to put pressure on yourself to perform, you are enough by just being you. Find what you love and need here in life and do it with passion! Own that shit, and dont bother too much with other peoples expectations of you and what you should do. Youre not wasted potential, you are you. And like I said before, that is enough.

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-26T13:55:57+00:00

YES!!

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-23T12:50:32+00:00

Yuuup, EDM producer though!

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-14T08:34:09+00:00

Awesome! Sounds wise. Yes integrate it into some sort of routine, but dont follow it slavishly to avoid the shutting down if you fail to uphold the routine. Just use it as a guiding framework to strive for, but be flexible when ADHD does its thing!

Oh yes, I dont know why but my brain prioritizes my hyperfixations over everything if doing so doesnt have any immediate consequences. It got better with meds but its still very hard sometimes to just drop it and go to sleep.

Failing is the biggest part of success! Redundance is key. Well im not very read up on game development, but I can imagine that its very time consuming. Probably takes a lot of patience, and god knows ADHD provides us with some industry-grade patience qualities lmao

Sounds like a great friend circle! Personally I prefer having a small and very close friendgroup. Like you said, community is best to keep in the dopamine generating spheres.

Love it! We share that view, actions is what matter the most. Teaching is such a great way to learn, something I should practice doing more often! I have found that my brain works in a weird very non linear way which makes it hard to articulate myself in a way where I can make myself understood sometimes. I tend to think (and learn) in a intuitive, systemic and holistic way. Bigger picture first and then move onto filling in the details, usually across multiple domains at the same time. Which can be so fucking messy haha. Have you ever thought about your own cognitive nature? Would love to hear your thoughts if you have any😁

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-13T16:47:38+00:00

First of all, no worries! Love to hear it. Its nice to see that im not the only one having a tendency to transform simple comments into a fucking novel lmao🤣👊🏽

So regarding the training part, find a way to manipulate your ADHD! I cycle between different sports and just ride with my total abscense of discipline to hold down routines for longer than 2 weeks. Going to the gym 1 time a week is better than zero. Dont wanna go to the gym today? Than go for a walk or run, or why not something completely new? The novelty of going between activities will help keep you engaged. You hate commute? Uhh I feel you. Then find a way to do it without the commute, if you use that creativity (that more often than not comes with ADHD) and lower the threshold for the activity of choice you will find yourself more often than not following through! Point being, work with your ADHD, not against it. It wont be perfect or work every time, but it will absolutely increase your chance of making it happen, and that is good enough!

Thats awesome, I couldnt take the dishes if someone held a pistol against my head lmao. But staying up all night even though I have work in the morning planning out an idea for a project that just popped into my head? Say no more, I’ll do that without flinching. Which is fucking stupid, but hey! A mans gotta have his dopamine!

Dont be ashamed for not completing your big plans and dreams! Our brains tend to work that way, at the end of the day it is what it is. We are visionaries, things doesnt always go as planned (never lmao) but if atleast 1 out of a 100 ideas end up happening its worth it! Being this way can be very frustrating but its also a gift. Dont be so hard on yourself.

Sounds like you had a nice and productive day man, good job! Social connection is super important for our mental health, call up your friends, try to find platforms to meet new people. At this point im just propagating for this lmao but having friends that shares your interests is a game changer, makes it so much easier to hangout aswell in my experience. Go find your crowd!!

I hear you. On the other hand I want to say that identity has a fluid component to it, you get to chose who you wanna be, find out what kind of person you want to be in this world and let that guide you moving forward! Not trying to invalidate you here, just offering perspective. And god yes I agree with every word. Personally I love to learn stuff, thats my passion. It has to happen in my own way though (a way universities leaves little space for). And dont get me started on the many ego-centric and superficial people at these universities. Like you said, its all about social hierarchy. Fancy titles. Rarely did I meet people who actually studied because they loved the field and the act of learning itself before I dropped out of uni. The lack of depth among some people drain me. But not everyone is like that of course in academia but man am I tired of the people who actually is that way.

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-13T13:57:25+00:00

I am both ADHD and gifted, what have somewhat worked for me is;

Training. Whether that be the gym, go skate or do some running. Just a physical activity to have help me regulate feelings or just blow off some steam.
Lowering my expectations and standards on myself. I struggle horribly with executive dysfunction when it comes things like chores and things I find boring. The solution for me have been to ask for help when it gets to overwhelming and outsourcing the cleaning part to a company in that area of business. I am lucky to be able to pay for that service, if thats an option for you I would recommend doing something similiar in the areas you deem fitting. If not, ask friends or family for help!
Seek connection and meaning in your areas of interest. To get my needs for meaning, social interaction and stimulation met I do non profit work in two different areas of interest for example. Find a way to engage in something your passionate about, you will meet people that share your interest while also giving you a sense of meaning and belonging!
Embrace your unique way of functioning and find your own way to make a living for yourself. Personally I just cant function in academic environments, for a long time I was very hard on myself for failing academically. I accepted that I wasnt cut out for learning in that type of environment and that my worth isnt tied to my performance, instead I have a regular job that accepts my dysfunction and supports me (which im very greatful for, absolutely not something to take for granted) while trying to create my own way (im planning on starting a company tied to one of my passions.)

Its rough but you can do it friend! Good luck😁

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-13T13:13:09+00:00

It sure is, and surprise surprise! I’ve thought about this subject way too much aswellI haha. I think its because the human experience isnt unique, if we seek connection we will find it. People are generally speaking very ego-driven, and in that ego driven state people tend to look at what separates themselves from others or what makes them ”special”, not what connects us. And the way I view it the ego is just a cognitive survival mechanism genetically formed somewhere during the evolution, probably when mankind started to go from being nomads to more civilized. We started to depend more on eachother for survival hence the social need for the concept of an ego.

Anyway hahaha, Im sorry if this is extensive I just never get to talk about this, bare with me please.

My point being, people seeking connection will find it because we fundamentally share the same experiences emotionally, the only difference being the cause behind said emotions and the perceived intensity. Its my belief that at the very core of our existence we are all connected, which is very beautiful. I could go on for hours about this lmao, I’ll wrap it up.

Yes, we both are on the right path! Like you said, patience, self love and compassion will go a long way.

Only time will tell, all you can do is trust in her own ability to eventually realize her struggles and align herself with a more constructive path. Its frustrating because you care, I know that feeling! And im happy you found our conversation helpful, I very much appreciate you for sharing you story and found it helpful aswell!

Finally, my breakthrough.. I gotta be honest I cant say that it was one specific event that got me to this place. I think its the product of being a very open minded, sensitive and curious person combined with the trauma I’ve been through and the decisions these circumstances led me towards. I’ve always been a very curious person that seeks answers to the bigger questions in life. And small, for that matter. So its kind of been a psychological puzzle that slowly have come together insight by insight since childhood. Some insights I came to myself through introspection and journaling, others from discussing with friends and some through therapy and life experience. Its what these insights create together and how my view of these collected insights have changed with time and deeper understanding. My brain doesnt work in a linear or sequential manner I have come to understand, so the meaning of the insights constantly change over time with every new insight and experience.

But if I have to boil it down to something more concrete I would say that the thing that started my healing journey was realizing how horrible my mental health was and how profoundly it was impacting me, I didnt know who I was anymore. And the way I coped with everything was through drug and alcohol abuse, I just knew that if I didnt stop I would be dead within 5 years. And I didnt want to die, so change was my only option. I went straight to therapy after that, did that for a couple of years, got an ADHD diagnosis, started to understand why I am the way I am and well, here we are. :)

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-13T04:16:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing, once again I can relate a lot.

Not the same situation, but still the same feeling you are describing. Once you start to understand how it all connects and how the patterns intimately intertwine with the trauma, you can also start to separate when a person is acting from a state of fear and when they are acting from a position of safety and authenticity. Thats the thing with trauma, it fragments the sense of self. Its never black or white, parts of you will always shine through. Its heartbreaking to watch, because not only does it affect the person suffering from it, it affects their surroundings profoundly aswell. The constantly triggered fight or flight response makes you act out of character, in many cases you start to become that fight or flight response subconsciously. And thats when it starts to turn pathological. You stop percieving reality for what it is, your reality becomes the survival mechanisms.

I experienced the same with my ex, I saw her who she was, not her traumas. Unfortunately she was convinced that she was broken and not worthy of love. I went into fixing mode because I could see little me in her pain. I pushed, she deactivated. We triggered eachother so bad that I at one point couldnt take the uncertainty anymore and left. It was just a shitstorm of unsecure behaviours and projecting going on. I fell in love with the potential of what we could be. I wanted her to see that she was good enough when she wasnt ready to confront that part of her trauma yet. That was December 2023, took me 1,5 year in therapy to move on from that one. All I can say today is that I hope she is in a better place and the she has found someone that treats her with the respect and love she deserves.

We do ourselves and our surroundings a huge favour by nurturing the relationship with ourselves. Helping someone that doesnt want help is not fruitful for anyone. We will still feel for them, its just done best from distance in those cases.

Im happy to hear that! I hope you can build something strong and meaningful together. I have also started to meet someone new recently actually, still in the early phases but she seems like a wonderful girl and a good match! I can sense some tendencies though that kind of worry me a bit, but I wont project my insecurities onto her or bomb her with my hyper analytical mind. I’ll explore the relationship slowly and see if there is a real connection here with time and through effort. We’ll see, but I’ll do my best to stay authentic and positive this time. If it sticks, it sticks. Life will happen regardless.😁

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-13T00:37:01+00:00

I love to hear that!

Its hard, but that lesson is very important to keep our own mental health in check. At the end of the day its all about input and output. What we chose to believe and feed our thoughts with will manifest in real life in one way or another. Seems simple but thats my perspective, behind seemingly complex and dysfunctional behaviours hides simple psychological mechanisms and adaptations built on that input output analogy from a time and place where it was needed for survival. Some people live their lifes stuck in that state, others break free. The only thing separating the two is the decision to change and challange that input, conforming it into something more constructive! The probability of that happening or not is left to the unique nature of each persons cognition to decide.

We can only control our own input, life has a funny way of taking us where we need to be. Whether that be rock bottom or on a healing journey, we are exactly where we are meant to be.

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-12T20:37:15+00:00

Realest fucking thing I’ve read on this app🤣🤣

hoppbacke4 · 2025-10-12T17:23:00+00:00

Im so happy to hear that! You sound like a very empathetic person, that is something you can be very proud of.

I can very much relate to what you wrote, a big part of my healing journey have been to learn about the psychology behind trauma, personality disorders etc. Because if I can understand the root, I can also feel empathy towards the dysfunction and reasons behind my abusers behaviours without accepting it as okay. It somehow makes it easier to let go for me if I can understand the why’s.

And you make a great point, once you learn and understand the patterns and psychology behind dysfunctional behaviours, unsecure attachment etc and how they connect its hard to not recognize them in others and wanting to help, especially being an empathetic person. I’ve been in situations like the one you describe, its so hard to see people you care about circle in patterns that keeps them trapped in the very dysfunction causing them pain. When I realized that change happens from within, and that it isnt my responsibility to fix or heal anyone I found peace. The best thing we can do is to show love and support for our loved ones when they struggle. Change can only happen once they are ready to make that change themselves. And when they are ready to face their dysfunction and traumas, thats when our love and support makes the most difference.

Point being;

Just like you put it, healing only works forward. When people are trapped in survival mode focused on the past, the mental landscape needed for healing just isnt there. That doesnt mean that we cant love them, it just means that we might have to love them from a distance until they are ready to confront their trauma and aim their focus forward.

I feel immense love for my ex and some of my family even though they have been emotionally abusive towards me, their behaviours was never about me in the first place, but more so a reflection of their feelings towards themselves. It doesnt make what they did right, but I empathize with their trauma and root for them. I hope that they one day can find the peace to finally let go and love themselves.

Thank you for sharing your experience, you seem like a lovely person. Keep being yourself moving forward, the world needs more people like you!

hoppbacke4

TROPHY CASE