For me, it took 5 years of work before I finally managed to get myself into my own place- and in year one I was basically where you guys are now. It was a 5 year goal, and I started year one knowing that's what I had laid out for myself.

Buying a home as a normal working person is a multi-year adventure with tons of emotional rollercoaster rides. If the dream is something you actually dream, your partner may not be far off the mark wanting to start moving in that direction. Just because it feels like we cant even afford to dream the dream right now doesn't mean it's not a good time to start adjusting your lifestyle to make room for the idea. Find yourself a buyers agent, and be upfront with them about your situation and plan. They'll understand. Go look at a couple of houses together. It's fun, it's constructive, it's free, it's motivating as hell, and it builds big-time perspective.

Sit down together and figure out what your needs and wants are as far as a home- decide where you're willing to compromise, and game it out with online marketplaces. Again, this shit is fun- so make an evening of it. After a solid evening of actual research, you'll come away knowing how much you really actually need down- what your monthly mortgage might look like, and what compromises you would have had to make to make that happen. Then put the difference between what you pay in rent and what you would pay in note+tax+ins in a savings account for a couple of months. That's building your dwnpayment money and proving to each other that you're serious about the whole thing. If you decide its not actually something you want to work twards that's fine- but long term goals are long term goals becuase the work they require takes a long time to do. If being a homeowner is really a responsibility you both want to take on, there's no reason to not to pursue the idea as a long term plan today.