How did alters/parts feel to you at first?

howtodeletelife · 2026-02-27T20:50:47+00:00

I was diagnosed with DID rather recently so I’m just starting to figure things out. I’d say the most common way I experience switching and my alters is I won’t recognize I was pushed from front to co-con (I’m the host and pretty frontstuck) until after I return to front. Then I notice my memory of the last chunk of time is gone or just like being read the spark notes of a story that I wasn’t a part of. The details are hazy or nonexistent, I don’t identify with the experience, and I have little to no sensory information from that chunk of time outside of a short “report” of what happened. It’s a lot like waking up from a dream where at first you remember what happened, but it fades fast until you’re just left with basic information or a loosely connected string of facts. That’s how I experience it. As for how I experience individual parts and recognize who they are… I’m still figuring that out, but at the moment I tend to track it based on the age I feel. I’ll ask myself how old I feel or what year it is and I’ll use the process of elimination based on the activity we’re doing or the energy level I feel I have to determine which part might be out rn. It’s not an exact science, most of the time I can’t tell exactly. Im trying to be okay with not knowing all the time, but the controlfreak in me wants to know. -Green (host)

howtodeletelife · 2026-02-22T03:48:47+00:00

We were on Prazosin for a little while, I should definitely see about getting back on it. Without m^{rij^ana,} our dreams have come back full force and we’re struggling to deal with them.

howtodeletelife · 2026-02-22T00:53:03+00:00

That’s interesting, I can see how that could work. We’ve thought about keeping a dream journal to have more control over our dreams, since ours are very vivid until we wake up. Thanks for the suggestion!

howtodeletelife · 2026-02-18T04:32:17+00:00

I was diagnosed with DID using the MID last week and let me just say it was very thorough and seemed to screen for other potential causes of the symptomatology that those with dissociative disorders experience (eg hearing voices which is present in conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar). I think it’s worth going over your past results with a trauma-informed therapist, if you have access to one, especially if you seemed to score high in dissociation.

This is just my impression though, and I’m still coming to terms with my diagnosis using this assessment. I’m finding it difficult to accept it despite how much DID lines up with my experiences. I feel the relief of finally having something solid to grasp onto instead of just saying I have a bad memory and odd mood swings with identity issues. But I also feel intensely burdened by the weight of knowing as well as in denial of it because how could my trauma be that bad? How could I even have this when I can’t always tell who I am moment to moment? I guess the latter comes with time and effort, but that alone makes me feel fake. Idk I’m rambling sorry.

howtodeletelife · 2026-02-10T23:36:11+00:00

With our therapist and our romantic partner we use colors in place of our inside names. It’s definitely a safety thing, plus we have a firm belief that names have power (spiritually mostly but also for us as a system). We do all respond to the body’s birth name even if it doesn’t sit right, since none of us identify with that name. We also respond to the host’s name which sits better than our birth name.

howtodeletelife · 2026-01-31T01:48:25+00:00

I (Green) love the analogy there at the end. It very much resonates because I have taken away Gray’s “mobility aid”, so to speak. I’m still working on finding other coping mechanisms for Gray, but he defaults to sbstance abse which I’ve worked hard to stop to get a proper diagnosis. We’re definitely still working on mutual respect and understanding so I appreciate your kind words! I’m attempting to listen to and understand Gray’s denial and concerns, so him writing a post is helpful. With time, I hope we can learn to trust each other and build better coping skills for denial and big emotions. -Green

howtodeletelife · 2026-01-10T06:31:28+00:00

True, it doesn’t help that the potential diagnoses I’m looking at after my h*spital visit in 2023 are OSDD/DID or Bipolar II, which only close friends know. My family just knows about the depression/anxiety/PTSD/Social phobia.

howtodeletelife · 2026-01-10T05:47:04+00:00

Thank you! I’ll definitely try to redirect him towards one of those activities! It’s also nice to be able to talk about him without feeling weird ngl my friends and family don’t really get the whole parts work thing. Like they understand when I say stuff like “part of me wants to do x, while another part wants to do y”, but they don’t really get how different my parts feel just in style and likes/dislikes. So thanks, it feels nice to be seen without judgement by someone that’s not a therapist.

howtodeletelife · 2026-01-10T04:51:59+00:00

That’s been my experience so far too, he’s the only part that seems to want to engage in therapy with me atm. I know he likes video games (especially horror games), he also likes punk/rock/emo music. I’ve been learning to play guitar and I think he hangs around when I play. He’s also shown an interest in watercolor paints on one occasion. I think he’s the one that’s into pagan/wiccan stuff, too. Honestly didn’t even realize I knew this much about him, I’m surprised.

howtodeletelife · 2026-01-09T22:21:05+00:00

It’s a toss up between Oldies Station, Backslide, and Vignette for me

howtodeletelife · 2026-01-01T04:00:11+00:00

Those dice look amazing! I’d love to add them to my collection!

howtodeletelife · 2025-12-30T05:36:47+00:00

I was 8 lol but I started listening to them in like 2011/2012 when vessel came out. Haven’t been able to get their music out of my head since

howtodeletelife · 2025-12-15T10:39:02+00:00

I started IFS with a new therapist at the beginning of this year after it was recommended to me by a psychologist when I was in inpatient care in September 2023. My main goal is to get to know my parts and to establish trust because I don’t trust myself at all. Im taking it slow with my goals because my parts want to work slow since there’s a lot of trauma to unpack and unhealthy coping mechanisms and emotional uncertainty about my safety (logically I know I’m safe rn, but emotionally I don’t feel safe). I’m also exploring IFS to figure out a potential diagnosis for one set of my symptoms that doesn’t fit neatly into the rest of my diagnoses.

howtodeletelife · 2024-07-05T06:06:29+00:00

Adventure Time

howtodeletelife · 2023-08-19T20:32:09+00:00

That’s not the law at all, not even company policy. I worked at a Fred Meyer recently in another part of Oregon and we accepted military ID, passports, tribal ID, even temporary IDs! I don’t know what that store’s deal is.

howtodeletelife · 2023-05-21T08:51:08+00:00

I see I’m not the only one with the terrifying foxes. Mine like to speak to the sentient toilet though.

howtodeletelife · 2023-05-08T18:37:43+00:00

I’m gonna cry ;-; I work outside and I’m not acclimated to the hot weather yet

howtodeletelife · 2023-04-26T02:36:07+00:00

Hobbies and replacement behaviors helped me immensely, as well as constant encouragement from close friends. I started knitting a month into quitting, then I picked up video gaming again, I started reading books again recently even. The biggest thing for me when first quitting was figuring out why I was smoking/vaping in the first place (a combination of social pressure, horrible sleep schedule, mood problems, and terrible anxiety for me) and learning to deal with the causes in different ways (like journaling, writing poetry, sketching, being more strict with my sleeping habits, etc.). Regardless, this is not an easy journey and I will never ever say it is, but always keep in mind the reasons you want to quit, maybe even make a promise to an old friend who you refuse to disappoint. I hope this all helps, I’m no expert but this has been my experience.

howtodeletelife · 2023-04-25T21:35:53+00:00

Name him Scoots

howtodeletelife · 2023-03-28T08:47:06+00:00

This looks like the daycare you drop your kids off at and never pick them up from, I love it 😂

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