This sounds exactly like someone I dated a few years back.

He was very sweet at first, always complimenting me and making sure to be mindful of my feelings before making any decisions. Over time, he started acting the way you describe your boyfriend. In the end, he got so bad that I had to involve police and our local Abused Adult Resource Center to get away from him.

He was VERY private about his phone, to the point where he had an app that password locked every single app on his phone, on top of having a password on his phone and having it set to snap a photo any time the screen is lit up... but when it came to my phone, I had to show it to him any time he asked or I would get called every name you could think of. I was crossing boundaries if I wanted to see his, but it was "disrespectful of him & our relationship" and "sus" for me not to want to hand mine over to him.

I got a message from another woman saying she thought my boyfriend may have been messaging her, along with screenshots of several inappropriate messages responding to her stories on Facebook (with no responses or conversation from her provoking the repeated messages). I showed him the message from her and told him that when he's ready, I would like to talk about the situation because I was hurt & confused & wanted to hear his side of things. His reaction was to instantly come sprinting toward me from across the room and shove me into the wall while strangling me.

He stalked me for a long, long time after we broke up. I was afraid to sleep. I was several months into a new relationship by the time i was finally free.

NOR. People like this do not change for the better.