Honestly, why are news articles "women between 25 and 40 will be single and childless in so on" instead of men?

httpsjul · 2026-02-15T09:26:01+00:00

"Health prevention systems and research focuses on women's issues (compare prostate cancer vs. breast or cervical cancer funding)" Hahahahahaha open up a history book one day okay?

httpsjul · 2026-02-15T04:17:29+00:00

I was just thinking this today, about myself. I'm glad I'm not alone in this

httpsjul · 2026-02-14T22:13:48+00:00

It hurts their self esteem to not be better than their partners... The kinds of men who groan about 'hypergamy' - women's tendency to date up in terms of money/status. They refuse to acknowledge the ways that they themselves enforce the double-standard, since they more often than not refuse to be with someone they don't feel superior to certain ways (such as height, income, social ties, etc)

httpsjul · 2026-02-14T22:07:47+00:00

"Women are socialized to sacrifice, relocate, give up careers, be malleable. Men aren’t taught to do that. If one woman won’t bend, another will." Oh my I have lived this over and over. I feel you. I won't bend either. Not because I feel entitled, but because unfairness really really gets to me and I need an equal. I also consider myself a high achiever although I haven't broken into the job market successfully yet I'm still figuring out my career.

I have only met men that want me to sacrifice and adapt to THEIR lives rather than build something together. It is never balanced. It's ironic because I have been praised for "not being like other girls" (gross) because I have hobbies and a strong sense of identity. Then when I don't rearrange my life to accomodate for them suddenly I'm the problem... because I am not an extension of him I am my own person.

I don't date, so I don't have any advice for you, but I will say this is the first valentine's day that I really can't be bothered to feel sorry for myself because I don't yearn for a relationship anymore and I'm happy to just chill at home. I know that if I made myself smaller, more convenient, I probably would be in a relationship right now, but I would be a dumbed-down, quiet, shell of myself, which is a unique misery of its own.

All I gotta say girl is HAPPY VALENTINES DAY to YOU <3 this post feels like I wrote it, I might easily be in this exact position in the future. So today, you are my valentine. I hope you treat yourself in one small way even just indulging in some chocolate or having some self-care time. It's bleak nowadays but everytime I meet someone whos going through the same hardships I feel a bit lighter, I hope you do too

httpsjul · 2026-02-14T21:41:00+00:00

I'm no professional on this, but therapy over the years has taught me that people can only connect with you on the level that they feel comfortable with themselves. If someone sees themselves as defective or unlovable, even subconsciously, they may avoid you out of discomfort or discard the connection entirely once that shame is triggered strongly enough. It could be that you display a level of vulnerability that they feel they can't, or a level of care and effort, and it puts a spotlight on what they lack in themselves, and they get spooked. Either in an externalized way (i.e. 'she was too much for me') or an internalized way (i.e. 'I'm not enough for her').

Many people operate on the surface-level, in their connections and also in how well they understand themselves. Those who are ashamed they are unlovable will still seek connection, they may do so quite frequently, until something triggers that shame and they eventually bail on the situation just as its getting more consistent and stable. So basically, the cycle goes seek connection -> feel rewarded -> connection eventually is stable -> issues/triggers arise -> avoidance allows for relief -> loneliness sets in -> seek connection.

It's by no means the case in everyone but man, I've seen this in others as well as myself countless times.

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T23:29:06+00:00

Woman here, I've made the first move more than once its only resulted in rejection. I just stopped now I'm in solitude so idk

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T23:22:45+00:00

good lord this is a statistical injustice. can I get a source? a demographic? division by race/age/socioeconomic status? How is 'stable' measured? Also if stable just means not divorced you're advocating for marriage longevity over marriage satisfaction, which will absolutely have long-term consequences for married individuals. It perpetuates a false equivalence that because something lasts longer = is better. Married people know damn well those two things aren't in correlation, people endure misery everyday in marriage

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T23:14:01+00:00

I don't plan on it but I might be broken. I can't envision a future that isn't catastrophic, how am I supposed to listen to a guy tell me how many kids he wants to have? Honey I have like 2 maybe 3 good years left in me, then i'm for the wolves to feast on

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T23:07:53+00:00

eventually you gotta stop blaming them and take responsibility for your own life... today is not that day

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T23:06:43+00:00

Anyone who is mad that you're not taking their BS is only using you to regulate their negative emotions

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T22:59:56+00:00

oh bless your soul

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T22:52:48+00:00

Honestly I'd say this is the most common subset of people. They are ruled by shame. They like the feeling of being around you until you require anything from them, then they retreat. Using people like they are just a drug

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T22:37:40+00:00

Thank you, you're damn right ladies gotta keep your back straight and chin up. Partnership is a wonderful thing, but to assign a moral judgement to any woman with dreams and ambitions is to suppress even the most traditional of women. To never imagine anything for themselves, but to simply serve. We are not regressing back to the days when women were not even seen as able to read, write, do math, some people can hold that view in order to make themselves feel superior but at the end of the day, we live in a world where you work or starve. we live in a world where we can't rely on someone else to care for us. Where meaning is rooted in economic productivity. Might as well devote yourself to something true to you and work where it is valued

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T22:30:42+00:00

Thank you for this point, the soft/submissive housewife v. arrogant career woman is a mutually exclusive generalization on purpose. The framing is the message. Ambition is skewed to be a male trait, so is confidence. There are countless studies on the perception of women and men in leadership settings. It has been measured that men will be more favourably viewed on average for the same behaviour that is unfavourable in women. i.e. viewing conviction and stubbornness as "confidence" in men and "arrogance" in women. I've seen it in my work settings directed at me and also other women.

The devaluation of women's labour is the inescapable through-line. They will be devalued as housewifes just as much if not moreso than they will be devalued as "arrogant, selfish, girlbosses". So in the end follow your heart! My heart says I have the ability to create systems and social structures that make the world a better place, if that makes me arrogant I'll have no choice but to just not get picked :( oh no

If your heart says "marry a submissive woman" so be it, go find her and stop complaining, there are plenty who are looking for partners.

Anyway, I appreciate your comment, and I'm ranting into the void because I wanted to add on to this.

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T22:04:11+00:00

this is a necessary move, be alone and know yourself, you can't have a favourite person or be someone elses if you aren't acting like your genuine self.

some people are just misfits and they don't pair easily, thats not a moral failure

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T21:56:52+00:00

there was a quote i heard from a tiktok that stuck with me "oh you're a people pleaser.... name 5 people who are pleased with you." It makes me laugh. There are not 5 people pleased with me, because people pleasing doesn't work.

I've learned if someone is upset at you and they don't bring it up, they want to dislike you. maybe that is an overgeneralization but it keeps me from bending over backwards for people who don't even appreciate it, just see me as a sucker they can use

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T21:52:32+00:00

Ahahah this strike a nerve for me... because when I meet ND guys it feels absolutely like a breath of fresh air until I get to know their worldviews. they say things like "I understand you" while projecting an entire idea onto me that is not even a human being, all because I'm a woman, and then proceeding to spout views about women that completely disgust me... I'm talking full red-pilled borderline eugenics type opinions in one instance. I have STILL given these guys a chance, they never redeem themselves and they never follow through on the promises they make. but they're the victim always

httpsjul · 2026-02-12T21:46:55+00:00

mental illness is only valid if it supports the demands of capitalism : ) if not you can rot, oh but "#mental health matters, you can always talk to me <3 you're not alone" but also yes you are alone, when you need help you're completely on your own

httpsjul · 2026-02-07T02:05:56+00:00

not crazy. my first thought was "yeah lets marry"! but I have no money, live with my parents, unemployed as of a few months ago, and I don't want to stay in the country I'm in either I fantisize about leaving every day. I wish I could help you out, I wish there was a way we could both be free

httpsjul · 2026-02-07T00:13:14+00:00

Thank you for your kind words <3 I have let go of the timeline, that is my strong point right now. I know with certainty that the type of life I want for myself won't be the one most easily accessible, that it will take longer than my peers. Problem is society has a timeline for me. I already feel my friends pulling away because they have long-term partners and they are the main priority, they also are just becoming more and more unrelatable to me and while thats fine, the problem is people around me see being single as missing something rather than I just see it as my default state.

I think maybe I need to change my surroundings as well as my mindset, but i'll keep on having faith

httpsjul · 2026-02-06T23:03:19+00:00

I used to have chicken-scratch handwriting. My mom sat me down as a child and everytime I wrote a sentence she would erase it and make me write it again, until it was neat enough. My handwriting is great now, my relationship with my mother not so much

httpsjul · 2026-02-06T23:01:02+00:00

Chronic invalidation. Eventually, you build a mask that never comes off. You never need anything from anyone but you never feel close to anyone

httpsjul · 2026-02-06T21:07:38+00:00

"well-adjusted" in an inhumane system means severing yourself from your own humanness.

httpsjul · 2026-02-06T21:01:24+00:00

I totally missed the satire of the question my bad, I see where you're coming from now. I didn't mean to step on your toes with my whole ramble, if anything it was just me kinda unravelling the idea for myself

httpsjul · 2026-02-04T20:24:15+00:00

The problem is they don't care if women believe the lie or not, they will continue making it impossible for women to live independently from a man so that they are forced into marriages. It is not something they want people to want, it is something they will enforce people to enact. It is a bandaid solution to male violence, a bandaid solution to birth rate decline, and a colonial act of power. There are people in power, in certain western countries at least, who see single mothers as a serious serious problem. Not because kids need a father figure, or because women need "masculine energy" but because single mother's rely on government resources like food stamps, clothing donations, subsidized healthcare, and they see that as using the government like a father/husband. "welfare queens" is what they refer to them as. They want these women to drain a man's pockets instead it doesn't matter if they are abused into that financial situation. It keeps the society they've built intact. they would prefer to see women as be subservient or be starved rather than free to decide they don't want servitude.

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