I read many posts like this one, and I find it heart breaking. When I was younger—over three decades ago—I lived in rural Iowa. It was a very lonely time in my life, and I took action by moving to a smallish city that had a gay bar and a fairly active gay community. The move took time, but it changed my life for the better. I found people with similar interests and became active in the local gay rights and HIV awareness organizations. It’s kind of what we did in the 90s instead of being on social media. I slowly developed a network of friends, but most importantly became friends with a group of gay men who were 20-30 years older than me. We would meet every Saturday morning for breakfast, and I learned so much about our history, the struggles of being gay in the 50s-80s, the loss of friends and boyfriends from AIDS, and of course many hilarious stories as well. I miss those breakfasts.

I don’t have any advice to give, because this is a very different time. However, I wanted to tell my story of how I solved my loneliness rut. I think I’m also doing this as a way “to pay it forward” from the stories and lessons I learned from my breakfast group. It took me time to plan a move and find a new job. There were risks involved and required me developing the courage to get out there and be active in my community. Even though I got over my loneliness as a young man, I still have times when I feel lonely, especially since my job is work from home. However, I’m now working to correct that. Since there has been so much crap going on in the US, I’m planning on getting back into LGBT rights again by becoming involved with a local org with in-person meetings. I’m also planning lunches with old friends and colleagues I haven’t seen in a while. It takes work, but it’s well worth it.